Pregnancy Puts Years on Your Body! 26 Weeks, 3 Days

I feel like an 80 year old! What has happened to me?

I mowed the front & back lawn & repotted a couple of plants today and can now hardly walk. Once I sit down, I need a hoist to get me up again and then standing straight from a sitting position takes a litre of oil on the joints!

Add that to the scatter brain and lack of memory! The moaning (like now!) and my lack of patience reminds me of those grannies on the bus or at the bus stop…watch out for “back in my day…” and “the youth of today….” comments!

I’m sure I’ve noticed another few grey hairs sneaking in. Hell, I’ve even dyed my hair purple today! (don’t worry its Plum not purple rinse…yet!)

I’m not going to even mention my bladder and bowel movements…oh, oops, I just have! Well, I’ll spare you from the details…

I’ve bleeding gums! (not sure that’s an symptom of old age but thought I’d throw it in there!)

Now…if I could get those meals on wheels and the home help now please, that’d be grand!

Can you believe I’ve still got another 14 weeks to go (maybe)….but then…shit! I’ve only got another 14 weeks to go! Ahhhhhhhhhh! Panic!!!!!!

Who’s That Funny Girl in That Mirror There? 25 Weeks

I’m really not liking my pregnant body at the moment! I know I should and I’m trying to but I look in the mirror, particularly at me naked, and I’m almost repulsed by what I see. That sounds strong I know but its my first and natural reaction.

I’m by no means svelte and I have lots of bumps in places I’d rather not have places – some are down to pregnancy but mostly they are down to my diet and lack of exercise (she says as she shovels another spoonful of Nutella into her gob!) but this isn’t just a vanity thing! I know, with a bit of hard work, I can fix that after baby!

Its that I don’t recognise my own body – its not me.

I don’t mind ‘so much’ when I’m clothed, although I don’t like looking at my bumpy self, but naked….shiver! My tummy looks funny, my bellybutton looks odd…I just look…wrong!

I have no issues at looking at anyone else naked or other naked bumps, in fact, I often think a pregnant naked lady is beautiful – so why don’t I like it on me?

I remember when my feet first started to swell when I was pregnant with Callum. No one else could notice the difference, they weren’t hugely swollen, but I looked down at my feet and they weren’t my feet. I gasped and said “These aren’t my feet – my feet look funny, they don’t look like my own”. Its weird! This is similar – I look at my body and its not my body!

Thankfully, the next day after giving birth, I looked at my feet and the swelling had already gone down and I recognised my feet again – it was then that I knew I wasn’t going mad (too late for that!) as now they looked perfectly fine again – in fact they looked like my feet but skinnier!

I was the same with my pregnant bump last time too, so it shouldn’t be a surprise. I had hoped that when Stuart bought me a photo shoot gift experience for my Birthday at about 6.5-7 months pregnant, that it would help me to change my view on my body and get me used to seeing myself in a different light. I am so pleased I got the photos done and definitely want to have some bump photos taken this time too. I can look at them and appreciate them as photos of a pregnant woman but when I think of them as me I still feel uncomfortable looking at them and don’t recognise them as my body.

There’s no solution to it I suppose – apart from to stop looking at myself in the mirror!

Full Term Baby Here We Come! 24 Weeks, 5 Days

Because of my history of high blood pressure with Callum, the Midwife hadbooked me an extra appointment than is normal for a second pregnancy.

She called the other week to say she could no longer make the appointment and recommended I make the appointment with the Dr instead for BP and Urine check. This I did and the appointment was Wednesday just gone!

It was good news – whoop, whoop! My BP was 124/78 which I think is the best it’s been for ages – years probably! In addition, there were no signs of either protein or sugars in my Urine! I didn’t have evidence of protein last time but I was worried about the sugars – the amount of chocolate and sweet stuff I’ve been eating recently, I was fully expecting this to be high so good stuff!

This really does feel me with confidence that I will go full term with this baby!

There are chances, of course (there are always chances) that this one could come just as early or earlier and, as the Dr reminded me, its not for certain that my high BP led to my waters breaking early – and I really didn’t do myself any favours that day after my hike around London, two meals of spicy food and a short jog (as much as an 8 month pregnant lady can jog) from the car to the Chinese, it really wasn’t surprising – but it could’ve been a factor and anything that points away from this is reassuring to me. The biggest fear, of course, is baby coming even earlier!

All this being said, you bet your life if 15 August arrives without baby making an appearance, I’m booking a trip to London to hike around half the city with a spicy pizza for lunch and a spicy Chinese for dinner (whether I puke it up or not!!!) – although I wouldn’t want a premature baby if I can help it, there were advantages in Callum’s case of only being just shy of the 37 weeks (he was born about 36+4 – which they class as 4 weeks prem), he was a good weight (5lb 15oz) both in terms of delivery for me and healthy for him, apart from a spot of jaundice and low blood sugars, he didn’t have any health risks or need any special care.

So the advantages were:

• His size! It was painful enough squeezing this little one out…I do not want to experience much bigger!! Also, I do believe his size was why I didn’t tear.
• I never got to that stage where I felt bored, frustrated and over with it all in terms of the pregnancy. When I hear others talk about those last few weeks of pregnancy, I’m always relieved I didn’t have to experience it – especially going over due and having the constant phonecalls of “I hadn’t heard from you for 8 hours are you OK, is it happening now?”. In contrast, when people asked me how long to go they’d often pipe up with “ooh, not long now” and I’d be panicked and say I wasn’t ready yet. I wasn’t ready (mentally – physically, I’d been ready for weeks with my hospital bag packed, nursery decorated etc!) and didn’t want the last few weeks to go quicker than I was ready for!
• I’m pretty sure the first few weeks were easier for us because all Callum did was sleep all the time. Everyone says the first 6 weeks are the hardest – I wondered what they were all going on about. Then 6 weeks hit. Just as everyone else said things get harder, I was a mess!

So, as soon as I reach term – bring on the pineapple, long walks, spicy curries, sex, acupuncture, reflexology, evening primrose, raspberry leaf tea, nipple stimulation, caster oil – this baby will be coming out!

For anyone who hasn’t already read my birth story and has a few hours to kill, you can find it here.

All things Pregnancy, 23 Weeks, 5 Days

Just a general pregnancy update from me.

It took a while into the second trimester but I’ve been feeling really well and much more like the normal me recently. So much so that I often get a little shock when I catch a glance of myself in the mirror or lay down in bed at night to see a protruding bump!

Then someone asked me how I was feeling on Saturday morning so I said, truthfully, that I was feeling good and would be happy if I could stay feeling like this for the remainder of the pregnancy. Why did I say that? I clearly jinxed myself! By the end of the day I felt like I’d morphed into an old woman. It started lunchtime – I’d gone in my friend’s' car (we had our two friends and their children visiting for the night) to show her where the supermarket & pharmacy were. When we got back and I went to get out the car I got a shooting pain through my pelvis like I was all out of line. I couldn’t put any weight on my right leg without crying out in pain! I could hardly walk for a bit. Then every time I went to stand after sitting down for a while I could hardly stand straight and felt all stiff. By the end of the day I felt like I’d been doing a vigorous exercise class and it was the morning after!

I guess I need to take that as my warning to slow down! I’d spent 1.5 days spring cleaning that week and perhaps these aches and pains were a result of that!

I guess my pelvis is starting to move about now too – although I thought any significant moves would be later along in the pg in the third trimester! I guess not!

I have a few things on my mind at the moment relating to delivery. First one being the hospital we go to. I’m not feeling the confidence with Poole Hospital. If they’d allow tours or for me to see the labour ward, perhaps I’d feel a bit different but considering I wont ever even see the hospital until its time to give birth as my appointments are all held at Bournemouth Hospital (a lovely hospital but only a MW-led unit so no drugs!!! – of the type I’d be after anyway!), I’m really not liking what I’m hearing from other people about the place. I’ve heard it resembling a bunker on more than one occasion.

The other thing I’m not happy about in going there is that they don’t offer mobile epidurals. I really don’t want to be restricted to lying on my back for the duration of labour and have the joy of being fitted with a catheter which, from what I understand, means you are more likely to spend longer in hospital. I had a mobile epidural with Callum but, although I was pretty restricted to the bed because of being hooked up to bp monitors etc,, and although the top ups failed, I was able to wiggle around and go to the toilet if I wanted. I’d still rather have a mobile epidural where the top ups don’t work rather than a full on epidural that glues me to the bed unable to move.

Going by my last birth plan, I’m sure after saying all this, that will be exactly what happens despite my best intentions – I get glued to a bed on my back with a catheter – as labours and births are so unpredictable and so often does not go according to plan but the best I can do is make efforts in the right direction to getting the plan I want.

I did think that Poole or Bournemouth were my only options. However, I’ve since heard I could go to Salisbury!

So, I’m going to contact Salisbury hospital to discuss what options there are and, if they offer a tour, I’m going to take a look.

Salisbury is further away to travel than Poole – 30 mins opposed to 15-20 but its worth looking into!

I guess another thing that must be on my mind according to my dream last night is breastfeeding and getting baby to latch on…to both breasts!

Last time, Callum and I took until the last night/day in hospital (C was born on Tuesday & we left on Friday) until we both finally got it and we never really got the hang of my right boob as I have a slightly inverted/flat nipple! But I must remember i) it was my first time breastfeeding a baby; ii) Callum was early and it is common for early babies to struggle with latching on at first; and iii) I was too self-conscious to ask for help,. This time I’ll have the advantage of having done it before, I’m more determined to ask for help if I need it and go to support groups and, all things being well, this one might have a better chance of getting it from the off…! We wont know until we get there.

But there have been things I’ve learnt, from my own experience and that of others which I’m going to try. The support groups being one of them but also, to start using Linsinoh right from the start (it was my saviour last time when I discovered it and, a little secret for those that don’t know, its fantastic at protecting sore little bums at night with bad nappy rash!!!) and I will try Medela nipple shields on recommendation from a friend who also didn’t take to breastfeeding immediately and tried several brands.

Whoever said breastfeeding is natural is lying! I hate that saying as it makes you think that its easy and both your baby and your body will know instantly what to do without any assistance – often it is not that easy and requires patience, persistence and a high pain threshold to cope with the needle sharp pains in your nipples!!!

Which might make you wonder why I am bothering to try again – I know, it surprised me but I do think I stopped last time just as I was getting into the flow of it (pardon the pun) and, if I do manage to get this baby feeding off both boobs then I think it will be worth the effort and initial pain (that does get better) in the beginning!

Positives I did learn from last time were that I’m not going to wait for 6 weeks until my flow is established before expressing and bottle feeding – I do believe Callum never had a problem switching to bottle because he had both breast & bottle from the start. This is also what I understand from other people’s experiences too and those that solely breastfed (from breast) and didn’t use a bottle at all until much later often had a much more difficult transition period – some babies never mastering a bottle! I want Stuart to share in the feeding so I can have a break from time to time!

Finally, to end on a high, Stuart finally felt the baby move last night – woohooooooo! Kicks and wiggles are in full swing as I am typing now! I think I am calling her Wiggles or Wiggly while she is in the womb as that seems to be what comes to mind when I talk about her.

Dancing Shoes – 21 Weeks

I’m in need of a name for unborn baby girl bump. We have a name for when she is born but I don’t want to start calling her that yet while she is still growing inside me. Can’t really explain why but it doesn’t seem right to yet. So I need another name. A girly name.

With Callum we called him Flump (hense the url for this blog) but I soon went off it and so I’ve been hesitant to name this one this time.

The closest I’ve come so far is Bubba girl but its a bit of a mouthful and still doesn’t feel quite right.

Anyway, moving on.

Bubba girl (will do for the time being) has moved up a tad and is starting to kick a bit stronger now – actually, less like kicking and more like dancing. I am surprised to say this but I’m really quite enjoying them…more than last time. And as if on cue…there she goes with her dancing between my pelivs & bellybutton. I get excited when I feel her. I’m pretty sure I was more matter-of-fact about it last time.

They are more like actual movements than just flutters now. She also continues to bounce on my bladder like a trampoline at times so I have to be careful not to let it get too full.

However, you still can’t feel it really from the outside. Stuart still hasn’t felt it. I’m pretty sure it wont be long….especially when I’m laying in bed at night.

Truly Blessed – 20 Weeks, 1 Day

Today was our 20 week scan. The scan was booked for 2.15pm. We both had work in the morning so it went very quickly and was nice to keep busy. We then had the afternoon off work as we weren’t sure how long we’d be – last time we were waiting quite a while.

As it happened, we didn’t have to wait long, probably about half an hour max.

I lay down on the bed and get comfortable as the sonographer prepares me and I have my belly button panic. I told her I have a fear about my belly button and she thought I meant seeing it so said “don’t worry, its dark” – the thought ran through my head that surely that was worse then realised she didn’t know what I meant so told her NO, of her touching it. She said she would try not to but might have to we would have to see…eek! After that initial panic, then there is that anxious wait as she puts the probey thing on my tummy for those words “and there’s the heartbeat” and then I inwardly sigh and start to relax.

She was very thorough and spent quite a while going through the body pointing out various body parts and organs and all the measurements they look for, showing the lips to check for cleft pallet, the four chambers of the heart and the valves that take the blood out. I’m amazed, firstly at the wonder of technology and secondly that she can make sense of the fuzziness that is presented to her on the screen in such detail – to me, much of it looks like static! “There’s the stomach, kidneys are there”…er, yeah, of course there is .

Thankfully, the head size was average \o/ and all measurements were good. She had no concerns which was a huge relief. She was very matter of fact going through everything we were looking at so I nearly missed it when she pointed out the stripy bit, which showed three white lines, which showed the three bones (my heart skips a beat) that tells us its a girl!

Wait a minute…she said a GIRL!

I look at Stuart and he reaches out for my hand and a tear flows down my cheek. I try my hardest not to crack up and I just about hold it together so hopefully the sonographer doesn’t notice.

She also said my placenta was good and Anterior which is good – I had heard that this may mean you don’t feel baby moving so strongly and she agreed because apparently the placenta acts like a cushion between baby and me. I regularly still feel baby wiggle (like now on my placenta) but I guess it may be a bit longer before Stuart feels the kicks on the outside.

Unfortunately, she was being a little pickle (the baby, not the sonographer) and wouldn’t, as the sonographer put it, pose for photos so I was sent to enter my bladder. She did wiggle around a bit as a result but still not enough to take any amazing photos but we got 6 OK ones.

After all was done, notes updated and photos received, Stuart told me he’d asked her how certain she was we were having a girl. She said you could never be absolutely certain (which we knew) but that she was 98% sure. Up until this point, I was keeping a little bit of me prepared that there was still a real chance that we could still be having a boy. Of course, there is still a 2% chance and that is still a chance but 2% I’m liking the odds that we will, indeed, have a little girl.

Yay! Girly clothes shopping here I come!!! *Does a little dance*. To say I’m over the moon that it looks like we are having a healthy baby goes without saying – that we are having a healthy girl….that’s just the icing, cherry and sprinkles on the cake!

Finally – here are my most recent (19 Weeks, 6 Days) bump photos:

                         

Still in Denial - 19 Weeks, 6 Days

The time is really starting to fly now, at last. However I’m still in an element of denial. Even with the baby now moving regularly – getting stronger but still not noticeable externally (i.e. Stuart can’t feel it) – I still don’t quite believe I’m pregnant. I guess more so now that I’ve finally got my energy back and I feel much more like me…apart from my inability to bend in the middle! Didn’t like that other body invader that brought with it the bouts of the blues…the sickness I could just about cope with but feeling down really isn’t me!

My bump is sprouting rapidly but I look in the mirror and don’t recognise myself. Sometimes my bump is hard and looks every bit the baby bump it is but other times (I guess when baby sits back a bit) it is soft again and I still look oddly fat – oddly as in I’m a weird shape for an overweight person with all the weight up front.

I was pleased though when someone took the plunge today and chanced saying “and I see another one is on he way”. Must have been looking more bumpy than a tubby odd ball!

Maybe after Thursday it will feel a bit more real! We have our 20 week scan. I’m a little nervous to tell you the truth – primarily, as always, about whether everything is ok but also because we hope to find out the sex. I don’t know why this makes me nervous.

Having just done my dowsing crystal to try to predict sex of the baby it started off saying boy to begin with with a gentle sway but then turned strongly to a girl. I guess we shall have to wait and see…

Callum is still being cute where the baby is concerned. Lots of “Hello Baby” and kisses and cuddles. He actually says “I want to cuddle the baby”. He has also started a cheeky way of trying to stretch out bedtime and get a repeat of his bedtime story. When calls of “again” aren’t successful he says “baby read it”. How can I refuse? It makes for a boring story, however, as you have to listen very very carefully to hear baby read it – I basically turn the pages in front of my bump without saying anything.

He he – cruel mummy!

Monkeymoo, Wigglywoo & Fattybumbum–16 Weeks, 4 Days

So, Monkeymoo is Callum. Just a quick update really as I’m pleased to say, there’s not much to report…which is good news where Callum’s concerned! After the strained times of not so long ago when he really was being a little monkey (can think of a few other words for his behaviour too but I’ll refrain), I can safely say he is back to his usual good self with just the occasional monkey behaviour.

He is still swimming and loving it. I’m noticing small improvements each week – not ground breaking but all going in the right direction. He is great underwater but still not very good at propelling himself forward.

We’ve had a couple of lovely days on the beach now that we are starting to get a few more sunny days. Even when it was only 4 degrees the other week we were on the beach enjoying the sunshine making sandcastles!

Wigglywoo – that’d be the belly invader! I had my 16 week midwife appointment on Friday. I’m pleased to report my blood pressure was normal. So delighted about that as that was one of my ‘issues’ when pregnant with Callum and why I was induced rather than allow me to progress naturally when my waters broke at 36 weeks. Also, we got to hear the heartbeat – and it kept having a wiggle while listening. Unfortunately, this doesn’t mean I’m feeling movements yet. The MW kept asking if I felt it as it wiggled but I didn’t feel a thing.

I had a list of questions to ask her but it was a mental list so some of them were forgot but I did get most of them in.

I asked if she knew of any antenatal refresher classes. We have enquired with the NCT as they have a refresher course on 21 July but being as it is only 3.5 weeks before my due date, which was when Callum arrived, I’m a bit nervous about booking it if we are unlikely to get our money back if it happens again and we don’t get to go.

She wasn’t confident but she gave me the details of a lady that runs the normal antenatal classes.

I think we’ll probably end up chancing the NCT course.

I then asked her about antenatal (or is it prenatal, I get confused) pilates and she wasn’t aware or any – just lots of exercise classes for post birth which I knew about.

Next was the birth plan stuff, I know its a bit early but its on my mind. Despite the circumstances of Callum’s birth, with waters breaking early and my BP being high resulting in me being induced, there were elements I would like to repeat if necessary this time round.

I was induced with the syntocin (?) drip rather than the pessary induction method. I’ve heard lots of bad stories of people being induced several times and it not ‘taking’ or them being in labour for days. Considering my labour was less than 9 hours from induction starting to birth, I was keen to go straight to that method and asked about the likelihood of that being possible but unfortunately it is down to the circumstances and how dilated I’d be.

I am aware that not all hospitals do mobile epidurals, which is what I had with Callum (not that I could move anywhere as I was hooked up to the heart-rate monitor) so asked if they did them at Poole. Answer was no, they do continuous epidurals which is a constant drip which is kept topped  up. You can wiggle but you are isolated to the bed and can’t pop to the loo. This would mean a catheter, which I didn’t need last time. This, for me, is really disappointing.

Finally, I enquired about whether they do tours of the maternity ward at the hospital or would there be an opportunity to see it – again a negative answer. They don’t do tours anymore because they were too busy. Another blow!

They really seem quite backward here in comparison to the Royal Surrey, and the services offered in Godalming/Guildford.

So that’s the wigglywoo knews and a bit of the me – the Fattybumbum. Not only for my mothers pleasant compliments about how I’m carrying this pregnancy around my bum/hips and how huge my bum is (not that I’m hung up about that or anything)…but also because, within the last couple of days I appear to have sprouted somewhat!

Here is a photo taken a couple of days ago and then one today…

Obviously, there are factors like angle of photo, the second taken just after dinner, the top vs dress etc but even still – it certainly looks like it’s ‘popped’.

And finally, for my big news…I have a job! I’m about to start working 2 days a week working for  Stuart’s company writing training guides and other stuff. Whoop! The first steps to rediscovering me!