Monday 31 March 2008

14 weeks, 4 days

Stomach Size: 95 cm

Prepare for a rant!

My head hurts. Ever since I've been 12 weeks pregnant, I've been really suffering with headaches. I've not been one to suffer much from headaches since school unless I've had too much to drink the night before or just generally dehydrated, but now I'm getting them almost daily. I can't be dehydrated as most days I am drinking so much water - easily 3 litres. Though I'm told it is bad to drink more than 3 litres so I'm actually trying not to drink too much. I don't want to keep eating paracetamol - especially because it is useless. I'm really missing Nurofen.

What I really want is a nice head and shoulder massage but I can't afford it at the moment. I'm having my hair done this month so spending out on that. May be next month if I'm still suffering, but I hope I'm not.

I think my memory is definitely starting to go now too and Baby Brain is setting in. I went food shopping having left my purse at home. Thankfully, I noticed before going to the till but had to leave my shopping near the customer services desk while I went home to get my purse. Couldn't have happened on a worse day as there were two sets of roadworks with traffic lights between Sainsbury's and home and a journey which should have taken me 5 minutes each way took me nearly 15 minutes one way. At least I didn't have much cold or frozen food but it was a real struggle with my head hurting.

I wonder if the headaches and the losing of brain cells is related????

Well I'm going to try and have a nap to see if that eases my headache...

Tuesday 25 March 2008

13 Weeks, 5 days

Stomach size: 93cm

Just a quick entry this time. I've started to balloon! Probably helped by the food and chocolate eaten over Easter but I'm sure there is some baby weight in there somewhere too!!! Anyway, I've taken the lead from another pregnant friend and have decided to measure my stomach (as you can see from above) and see how big I'm growing between entries. Shame I didn't measure myself at the beginning but I am sure now is a good enough place to start.

Which reminds me, talking about measuring...when I was window shopping for maternity clothes last week (which I went back and bought at the weekend) I also got my boobs measured to see if there was any change but, apparently, they haven't changed at all -not even one little size!!! How annoying! And I was counting on bigger boobs too. Well I've still got another 6 months to go so there may still be time for them to start growing. Come can do it!

Saturday 22 March 2008

13 weeks, 2 days

Yay! Hip, hip hooray! I’ve finally had my scan – but I only just got to have it!!!! On Thursday, after the post was fruitless again, I decided to call the hospital again to find out the date of my scan date. It had been a week and a half since I had rung them last. Well, I rung at 11.15 and she told me that it was actually that day and would I be able to get there for 12!!! I spoke to Stuart and he was really upset that he wasn’t going to be there so he asked me to call back to see if I could push it back a bit later that day. Thankfully, they could and said to just get there as soon as we could before 4pm. We actually got there at 1pm in the end.

It was great! We could see the baby and could see it wiggling. The measurements were taken to check its size and it was perfect for the dates I had. Then it kept misbehaving when she did the Risk of Down’s Syndrome test as it wouldn’t get in the right position. I had to go and empty my bladder to see if it would move. It did in the end and the risk was really low. Apparently, it is not necessary to turn up to the first scan with a first bladder but I didn’t know that and had purposefully not been to the loo because I thought that is what I was meant to do. However, you could really tell the difference in clarity between having a full bladder and not. It was much clearer before I went to the loo.

Stuart and I were both really excited. It had been a really stressful and nervous day for Stuart so was a big relief for him to see everything was ok.

So, now we have finally told everybody and have confirmed with the parents that they can now tell people too. This means it is finally sinking in that there is really a baby in there! Quite scary now though – I’m trying not to think about it in depth too much.

Funny thing is, I’ve been waiting all this time to be able to tell people but a little part of me is sad that it is no longer our little secret. No pleasing some people is there!

Anyway, the appointment letter finally made it through the door today – confirming that it was indeed on Thursday. Good job I called, eh?

Friday 14 March 2008

12 weeks, 1 day

Raaar, still no scan date. It is so frustrating that 12 weeks has been the landmark that we’ve been waiting for, the date when we expected we would be able to tell everyone and we can’t because we are still waiting for the scan date. I called the hospital on Monday who said that they would be booking the scan dates for ‘my date’ on the Tuesday so I had definitely expected to hear by now but we still haven’t.

We are so desperate to tell people that it would be easy to just say, well we are out of the danger zone now so why not but our fear now is if they notice something wrong when we have the scan. I suspect I am low risk for anything but you can never be sure. I really don’t know what we would decide to do. Such a difficult choice, how can you make one like that? Part of me feels, how can I choose to terminate a baby that could still have a really good life, but there have been a couple of programmes on TV that have talked about the huge commitment to the parents’ life it is. Not just for 18 years but for life. It feels selfish but there appears to be such little support for families. I’m probably worrying about lots of things that are never going to happen. Although, I do feel for the parents that do have to make that choice. Is every first time mum as neurotic as me???

We told Stuart’s parents on Saturday gone and, as expected, Stuart’s mum was thrilled. So lots of baby and pregnancy talk over the weekend.

Feeling very fat today but think that is just the large portion of fish and chips I’ve just consumed (though my cat did help me with half my fish!!!).

I have been asked how I feel about all the things that I was previously scared about regarding pregnancy and birth. To be honest, I’m just not thinking about it. I’m quite good at ignoring emotions and fears I don’t want to face up to. Plus, because we have been waiting for The Scan before we accept it is really happening, that has been quite easy to do. However, I think as I start to look more pregnant and the baby starts to move, that might be when the reality might set in – eeek!

I’ve just read all the entries back including one early on where Lou said I would be too tired to exercise. How right she was. I’m so glad to be able to have the energy to go swimming now - I’m really pleased with myself.

Thursday 6 March 2008

11 Weeks

Sorry, been meaning to write in this for ages but keep forgetting – maybe that is the first stage of ‘baby brain’ or may be I’m just as forgetful as ever!

In a way, lots has happened, in another, not a lot has happened.

The other weekend we went to a joint 30th Birthday party weekend in a barn in Hampshire. I had to lie to soooo many friends, it was awful. Everyone wanted to know why I wasn’t drinking and many were speculating whether I was pregnant and I had to blatantly lie to them stringing them on with a big story. I really hate having to lie to people but I have learnt from this. I wont ask anyone else I suspect of being pregnant. I will wait for them to tell me as it puts people in such a difficult position. It is so difficult to lie to people but if we went round telling everyone and then there was to be a problem at the scan or I was to lose it :o( I hope everyone will understand but it doesn’t make it easier.

In the end, two more people ended up finding out – Keith and Lisa. Keith had asked me earlier in the night and I had given him a big story about why I wasn’t drinking (which did pull on the truth, I’m sure it would have been true if I hadn’t have been pregnant if that makes sense?) but then later he came out and asked Stuart if I was pregnant. Because of the direct question, Stuart felt he had to tell him the truth. It was nice to have another couple of allies though (Lisa is pregnant too and having a much harder time than I am).

No one else found out at the party (though I am sure there are many who suspect) but, the following Friday I went to dinner with friends. It was the last get together before two of them went on maternity leave. I got the usual questions when I wasn’t drinking and thought “I can’t do this for another night, telling lots more lies” so decided to just tell them. With the theme of the conversation likely to revolve around pregnancies and babies, I was sure to slip up somewhere.

We are nearly there, though. 11 weeks. Still no scan date yet :o(

Definitely think I am starting to show a fair bit now though. Really struggling to fit in my jeans and feeling really uncomfortable. It was Mothers’ Day at the weekend and we were taking Mum and Dad out to dinner. As I didn’t have to hide my sprouting bump (or biscuit belly), I decided to wear a dress. It really looked like I was pregnant and my family couldn’t believe how big I looked and were questioning whether I could be further on than I thought. Either that, or I just take after my mother!

Anyway, that prompted me to go out looking for maternity clothes. I’m still a bit small for most the clothes but I managed to get a pair of work trousers (as I don’t fit in any of my old ones anymore) and a pair of trackie bottoms which look very chavvy but it is just so great to wear something comfortable.

I’ve also started swimming. Only been twice but it feels really good to be exercising again.

I’ve got my energy back a bit more now. I still get tired but not to the extreme I did before and I stopped feeling sick about two weeks ago which is helping loads.

I’m now just desperate for my scan date. If I’ve not heard by Monday, I’m giving someone a call!