Wednesday 29 June 2011

Potty progress and Mummy Guilt

First off, the potty progress.

Ultimately, Callum is doing really well. Except one small accident today, he has mastered wees really quickly. Unfortunately, we are not having as much success with poos. I understand this is a common problem...I'm just not sure how to tackle it. After Callum has achieved his third full reward sheet of stickers, I'm thinking of either saying only giving a sticker if he has a completely accident free day or only giving a sticker for poos in a potty. I am worried that if we say only if he has a completely accident free day he will start trying to hold them in so perhaps the latter idea may work better.

I am trying to understand the reason for it in Callum's case and trying to learn from my previous mistakes and trust that he will get it eventually without pushing things too hard.

My thoughts for why he isn't doing it is for a couple of reasons as he does often sit on the potty and 'try' to poo. He often tries and complains it hurts because he is constipated. I think he is just having trouble identifying the difference between wind and poo. This is another reason why I think he will get it eventually.

I'm keeping cool about it - it is just such a shame when he has a completely dry day then in the evening he poos in his pants.

*fascinating blog post about poo* - when did my life get so exciting????

Anyway, onto other news....mummy guilt.

I smacked Callum tonight and feel awful about it. Callum bit me and broke the skin/drew blood. It was just my instinctive reaction to smack him. It has not been a natural reaction for me up until now to smack Callum. In fact, I find the opposite to be true. I am not sure why I am surprised as smacking/hitting anyone isn't natural for me so why should it be so to a child who I am very conscious of being smaller and more vulnerable than me? That's why I feel so bad about this. But it wasn't a conscious measured response that I thought about, it was an immediate reaction. I guess it is that control thing - it hurt and I lost control. Even after the event, he continued to play up and was a struggle to keep on the naughty step.

After though, I did show him the bite and he kissed it better and apologised. I did the same for smacking him and where I smacked him. I am a strong believer of 'practice what you preach' as in if you tell someone to not bite/hit/smack etc, how can they understand if you then demonstrate that behaviour to them.

It was a rare event so I am sure there wont be a repeat in the near future - it is just hard to consciously intercept an instinctive reaction to Callum's behaviour as I am sure he will try to hit/bite/smack me again in the future. Normally, it is straight to naughty step - the difference this time was the pain I felt at the time and my body's natural response to that.

I am recovering with large glass of wine!

The funny thing is, as I was growing up, I was smacked if I was naughty and I had always thought I would do the same with my children. Strange thing how your ideas change once you actually are a parent.

Tuesday 7 June 2011

Pee, Poo, Pants & Potty

After a couple of false starts earlier in the year, Sunday saw the start of potty training for Callum (well obviously not Stuart, myself or Lotté!!!!). It was completely led by him too. Like everything in a child's development that you worry about, if you just leave it to them they will do it when they are ready!!!

What happened was:

We got in from a shop at the supermarket around lunchtime and Callum needed his nappy changed (wet). He wouldn't then let me put on a new nappy. After a bit of play I asked him if he would let me put a nappy on now and he said no then "wee wee Mummy, potty". Luckily, we still had a potty in the lounge (where we were) from the previous attempt so I grabbed it and tradarrrr he did a wee on the potty. I put some pants on after he asked for them and then other than a couple of little accidents he then continued to wee on the potty for the rest of the afternoon. I never knew a child could wee so much, it seemed like every 5 minutes. His sticker chart was filling up in no time!

So, the test was nursery. Monday he went in pants (Thomas of course) and I took plenty of spare pants and clothes and gave the news to nursery. I was hoping it would be a nice day so he could run around without any trousers on (but still pants) but, unfortunately, it was a horrible wet day. I was a little nervous when going to pick Callum up but was pleased to hear he had only had 3 accidents which were mainly because he was in his all in one outdoor suit thing and he couldn't take it off quick enough. Going by the number of times he went for a wee at home on Sunday, I was really pleased with just 3 accidents. He then did a couple more wees and......a Poo!!!! in the potty at home and earned his first reward (a Wilson Chuggington train).

Today was day two at nursery and he only had 2 accidents in the afternoon while there. Unfortunately, I had run to nursery, not really thinking through the potty training and the bus journey home. I was unprepared with no wipes or bags etc for any potty incident that could happen on the way home. Although I did have the potty with me.

We were waiting for the bus when.....I smell something not too pleasant....he had done a poo in his pants. I found myself scooping out the poo with a bit of cardboard and he had to stay in his dirty pants bless him.

I'm so proud of him. Fingers crossed it continues.

The hard bit is when he goes to bed he wants to continue wearing pants and not a nappy but judging by how heavy his nappy was this morning it will be a while before he is dry at night. But one step at a time.

On another note...

I was teaching Callum 5 little ducks. For those that aren't familiar with the rhyme it goes:

5 little ducks went swimming one day,
Over the hills and far away
Mummy duck says "quack, quack, quack, quack"
And only 4 little ducks came back.

complete with actions and you count down until 0 ducks come back and then on the next quack all 5 come back.

Callum was copying me with the actions and what I was saying and then it got to:

"Mummy duck says "quack, quack, quack, quack""

and he repeated it after me but slight different saying

"Callum duck says "quack, quack, quack, quack""

I love my son :o)