Friday 28 November 2008

12 Weeks, 3 Days old

I daren't put my weight as it fluctuates by about 4lb from week to week. 

Well, I don't want to speak too soon and put a jinx on it but I think we may be turning a corner! I am enjoying the second cup of hot tea that I have made today by 4pm. I'm normally lucky to be able to make one and then its normally cold by the time I get to drink it, unless I meet a friend or two or Stuart makes them for me in the evening.

The reason for my new remarkable ability...Callum is sleeping! Not in my arms, nor on the sofa, nor his bouncey chair but actually in his cot (well his moses basket in his cot!). 

This improvement seems to have started on Wednesday. I had a physio appointment so Stuart worked from home. I'm starting to get to know Callum's sleepy times of when he 'wants/needs to sleep'. The first time is about 2 hours after he has gotten up in the morning. So, about this time, I was getting him off to sleep in my arms in the hope he would be asleep when I left for my appointment. Unfortunately, as I expected, as soon as I put him down (on the sofa), he woke up. When he sleeps at this point, it is never a deep sleep but more of a cat-nap, so this didn't surprise me. 

Apparently, he was awake (and crying) for pretty much the whole 1.5 hours that I was out and fell asleep just as I put my key in the door. Timing wise, again, this was about normal (apart from the crying, he can normally be kept happy if entertained but Stuart was working so was limited in how much he could entertain him). He then slept for 45 minutes and then started to stir. Rather than pick him up and continue with the day, I decided to just comfort him and see if he would go back off to sleep. He did! For another 45 minutes to 1 hour. That night he then didn't go down until 11.45pm unfortunately, but he did go 5.5 hours between feeds. After his first feed around 3.30, he woke up a couple of hours later and, again rather than just get his milk or trying the dummy for ages, I picked him up and comforted him and then put him back down. He slept until I woke him at 8am! Yay!

So, yesterday, he had a mini snooze again in the morning, then at 12noon, instead of cuddling him while he was sleeping or putting him on the sofa, I decided to try to put him down in his nursery. He went straight down and slept for 2 hours when I had to wake him up to go for his jabs. He didn't wake up very happy which makes me think he could have gone for longer. 

He had another mini snooze around 3.30pm while I was meeting with NCT girls and then he went to sleep at just gone 8pm in Stuart's arms so I suggested we try to put him in his nursery. He slept there until Stuart went to feed him (and change him) at 10.30pm and then he slept through to 3.30am. He woke up a couple of times a bit earlier than he should after that but after I comforted him and put him down the second time at 4.30, he slept until 8am again.  This means he only had one feed during the night!!!! Yay again! 

Today, he had his usual mini-snooze mid-morning. Then he fell asleep after his bottle just before 12noon, so I put him down in his cot, and he stayed asleep for 1.5 hours. However, he did wake up grumpy so I do think he needs longer. He pretty much stayed grumpy until his next feed at 2.50pm and again fell asleep after, so I put him down upstairs again. Which is where he is now - about an hour later. Will leave him a little longer as he didn't get enough sleep earlier but if he doesn't wake up himself, I might need to wake him up to make sure he goes to sleep again on time later.

Fingers crossed, his sleeping will begin to improve. Next week, I will try to get him to sleep in his cot I think, rather than his moses basket. Then, if that works, I will start trying to put him down while he is tired but still awake. One step at a time though and I'm still enjoying this big step forward. I so hope it stays this way.

I am also noticing more interest and interaction in his toys by the day. He has started to exercise his legs more too and I don't think it will be long before he is grabbing his feet. 

Another step forward, I put him on his tummy today (with a rolled up blanket under his arms) for a bit of tummy time. I thought I might be doing it too late in his play time and he might have been too tired but, he stayed happy and smiley for a little while and it was evident that his arms and neck are getting stronger and he was definitely a lot higher off the ground for longer too.

As for his jabs, wasn't as easy as last time. He was awake for them this time and gave big yells and cries for both of them. I nearly welled up myself, it was heartbreaking. He then stayed grizzly all the time I was in the pub (saying I'm in the pub sounds really bad but it is a really nice pub/hote) until I eventually gave him some calpol. He soon chirped up again but not for long because then he was bored and cried again until I decided it was time to leave. When we got home though, he was more than happy to play under his play gym for quite a while. 

As for me, I've started Pilates. It is very gentle but I notice it the next day. I think it is all the holding my stomach and pelvic floor in that I can feel. Good to be doing something though. I still need to do some cardio too. I am hoping to join one of the NCT girls at an aerobic class at the Leisure Centre where you can take your babes with you. She said it is quite challenging (although not too much) so may be just what I need. Will only go every other week though as I don't think I could afford to go every week. Then may be I could try to run the following week at the weekend...we shall see. At least I have good intentions...

Monday 17 November 2008

10 Weeks, 6 days

Well the emotional roller-coaster continues. I have my up days and then once or twice a week I have a mini breakdown - when Stuart comes to the rescue. I'm really thankful and appreciate the patience he has developed when dealing with me on these breakdowns. 

Callum is getting really interactive now. He is starting to show an interest in toys and his play gym, though he still isn't at the stage of grabbing things. He is also trying to talk which is lovely - although he can only say "Agoo". Stuart thinks he was saying "Hello" the other day. He is smiling lots and sort of laughing too, mainly at his mobile when he is in his cot. This is a life saver sometimes as it often allows me to shower if I haven't managed before he wakes up.

We are finally able to stretch feeding to every 3-4 hours now and he therefore usually eats 4-5 oz which is really making a difference to night times. I really think he was snacking before. I'm also not assuming he is hungry when he cries in the night and will first try comforting/burping/dummy before getting his milk.

However, had another bad night last night. It started off really well. He went down at 7.30pm in his room instead of downstairs and slept right through until I dream fed (feeding them when they are still asleep - before they wake up for food naturally - to encourage babes to sleep longer through night) him at 10.10pm. Unfortunately the dream feed didn't really work as he woke up at 1am. I was hoping he would make it to at least 2am. He then woke up at 3am but took his dummy but then he was wide awake. I changed his nappy which woke him up more and he was smiling and laughing at me. I rocked him to sleep and finally got back to bed at 4.30am but was up 10 mins later putting his dummy back in. Then it was 5am and feed time again. I got back in to bed at 5.45am but was called out of bed again shortly after for his dummy. By this time I was very cold and tired. I had just warmed up in bed when he cried again. I really didn't want to get out of bed again and let him cry for a bit in the hope he would go back to sleep on his own. Then Stuart woke up and said I should bring him into our bed. I was just going off to sleep again and was beginning to dream when the alarm went off for Stuart to get up at 6.45am. I really want to start getting up at 7am but I am so tired, I can't do it and have to go back to sleep again. I usually end up getting up at 8.3-9am instead.

I am confident the nights are getting better and we are making progress but these bad nights leave me exhausted.

On another note, I'm starting a pilatés course tomorrow which I'm really looking forward to. It will be good to do some exercise. 

Wednesday 5 November 2008

9 weeks, 1 day old

13lb to loose

Decided to measure my fight to return to my pre-preggers body in weight rather than inches. 

Finding life exhausting this week! Callum has happy awake time in the morning but then seems to spend much of the rest of the day fighting sleep and feeds. He occasionally smiles but then will cry for apparently no reason seconds later. I spend my time running around at full speed cleaning and sterilising bottles and starting chores then sat on the couch attempting to feed Callum, trying to comfort him or with him sleeping on me, getting depressed and frustrated that I can't get anything done/finished and everywhere looks a mess all the time. I want to get on the Wii Fit too but that is just a distant dream (if that is the right word) at the moment!

"How do I get the time to write this?" I hear you ask. I am typing it with my left hand while Callum squirms on my lap while I jig! 

"Why don't I put him down while he is sleeping?" I do when able but he often just wakes straight up which starts the crying cycle off again. 

He has just tried to chew and suck my finger off despite not being hungry!!!!

Anyway, to top it all off, I started my period last night so straight back to being a baby making machine! Two days after my final breastfeed. (BF'ing prolongs the return of your menstrual cycle apparently).

Roll on Friday when I get to go out on a girly night! 

Moan over!