Friday 4 April 2014

Key Worker Translator

I love going into nursery to pick up Millie and listening to her key worker and other nursery staff tell me what a great day my daughter has had…who doesn’t love to hear good things about their kids, especially when I miss so much of her day. Then recently I realised that maybe their smile was a little bit pinched at the corners, and the teeth a little bit gritted and maybe they weren’t being entirely truthful – well not all the time.

So I’ve thought a bit more about what they are telling me and remembering back to when Callum was at nursery and think possibly nursery workers are clever at disguising what they really mean. But I think I’ve worked out their translation! Below are things I have heard nursery workers say about Millie, Callum and other children too and I’ve translated what I think they are really saying.

“She knows what she wants, doesn’t she?”
She is stubborn, bossy and spoilt

“Does she play rough with Callum?”
She is the nursery bully

“She is such a little character”
She is a little madam

“His teddy has been well loved”
It’s so filthy it must be harbouring all sort of undiscovered life

“S/He likes his food and eats everything we give him”
We only give them small portions so we can tell you that and so they go home and eat your food instead of ours

“He got a bit over-excited at play time”
He purposefully pushed her over

“He loves sitting on the double bike while Little Jonny loves to peddle him round the garden”
He is lazy and Little Jonny is a mug

3.30pm on a Friday: “she’s not herself and has a temperature”
It’s Friday and I want to go home early to crack open the wine

“You’re early today”
You’re early for once

“I was just about to change her nappy, would you like to do it?”
You’re her mummy, you should do it…plus it’s a stinky one!

What do they say at your child’s nursery or childcare centre?