I replied with a flippant comment in agreement with the 'discovery' but thought I'd write a fairer reply.
My husband isn't useless and does 'parent'.
It has always been important to me that he was fully involved in the parenting and the decisions. I didnt want to be like many couples where the mum could go away for the night without leaving step by step instructions - he was their dad, he should know.
That had pretty much been the case with the awareness that I have spent more time with them so have had to make decisions without him at changing phases and this requires communication.
I also wrote a post early in Callum's life (Some Mothers don't have it) acknowledging that mum doesn't always know best and we should trust dads more and try their ideas without being so quick to dismiss.
How life looks now is that typically we share school drop off and bedtime duties (one will cook while the other puts to bed and we alternate each night).
I'm working away more often now so Stuart will be solely responsible for the children just like I am when he is working away or late home. No brainer and what you would expect to happen.
I am lucky that we can afford a cleaner once a week (we pay my mum) so many household chores are taken out of the equation.
However, the debate over who does more still regularly raises its ugly head.
By way of example, on a Monday we usually come home from work together. He will come in, get changed, grab something to eat and sit on the sofa reading on his phone. Meanwhile, I'm helping with homework, making tea for kids, emptying and putting out bins, doing laundry, emptying and restacking the dishwasher and generally running round like a blue-arsed fly!
In the mornings I get up and dressed, get kids up and dressed, get them breakfast, make tea, empty and restack dishwasher, sort washing, stack bags, hurry them out the door. He'll typically get up 45 minutes later, get himself up, drink his tea, grab a banana or yogurt and get in the car. When I complain, apparently it's because I set the alarm too early and it all works out fine when I'm not around and he doesn't set the alarm at all. I have two issues with this:
- He doesn't do the other jobs I typically do in the morning;
- I have had to set the alarm earlier because I struggled to get everything done and be ready on time at the previous time I set it for.