Visit to Santa

Today we went to see Father Christmas. We've been to a few over the years.

We first took Callum when he was about 2 and knowingly too young to understand about Christmas but my reasons at the time were to kind of introduce him to Santa early enough to get used to him in the hope he wouldn't be scared of him later on. It was in our local garden centre in Godalming and was very awkward following Santa's opening line of "well think this visit is more about Mummy and Daddy rather than you" followed by some uncomfortable small talk! 

My least favourite Santa was the following year where we payed £15 for Callum, followed by £5 each for Stuart and I, to go to see him at Loseley House nr Guildford. The actual event was ok, few animals in the yard in a kind of nativity scene, but the visit itself didn't stand out enough for me to remember it but what I do remember is the rubbish present Callum got. It looked like a dog toy, it was a soft toy monkey (I think) rattle squeaky toy thing. Something you would expect for a baby not a 3year old and it barely cost a fiver. It was not representative of where our £20 had gone. I saw other boys walking around with these kind of noise maker toys, the kind you used to get a football matches I think. They spun round and made a racket. Don't get me wrong, what parent would wish for one of them but it certainly would've been more age appropriate for Callum. But bless Callum, he loved that monkey dog toy because Santa gave it to him. Our expense didn't stop there either as we foolishly splashed out for a polystyrene cup of hot chocolate and a mince pie which set us back a small mortgage too. Think the whole disappointing event cost us £30.

Since then, I won't settle for a mediocre Father Christmas, and tend to go on recommendation or previous experience. 

The first year we moved to Bournemouth we were told how great the Father Christmas was at Adventure Wonderland, the nearby low level theme park. The tickets were expensive but we got discounted tickets so couldn't complain. We went with much anticipation and excitement following my mum and sister's glowing reviews and an insistence from my elder sister that it really was the real Santa.

She informed me after the event that it wasn't the same Santa as usual and both my mum and sister agreed it wasn't as good as when they had been before. Again, Callum's present was a bit meh, but my nephew got a good gift. 

(It hits me at this point how materialistic I sound but the bottom line is that I expect to get what we pay for, with a gift that represents the amount we've paid for tickets (or would've paid if we paid full price) and a Santa that looks the part and tries to engage with the kids - we still build it up and follow it through for Callum even if I do consider them substandard, and he has never complained though did look envious of his cousin's marble run that year).

Anyway, the next year we went to a different place I'd heard so much about. Stewarts Garden Centre in Christchurch. This time it didn't disappoint. Father Christmas was great, the elves were lovely and really took the time to speak to Callum at his level, there was a winter wonderland scene while we waited and he got a great present, a helicopter where the propeller rotated when you pulled the string. Perfect for 5 year old Callum. And the reindeer, how could I forget? They had real reindeer!

So thrilled was I to have found a fab Santa's Grotto, I couldn't wait to book it the next year. But every other Dorset parent appeared to have had the same idea and got there before me so we didn't visit Santa that year.

This year I was determined not to miss Santa again so, in the last week of November, I though I would see if the tickets were being advertised. They were and, incredibly, every weekend running up to Christmas and the few days before Christmas were already fully booked. I'd missed out again. Gutted!

Bit all was not lost because a twitter friend told me they had managed to get tickets for their other store 20 minutes away in Broomhill. I held my breath as I looked online. Success! I managed to get the last 2 weekend tickets. 12.30 and 12.45 the next Saturday coming.

Would it be just as good as we had experienced before in the Christchurch store? 

We needn't have questioned it. It was great. The Father Christmas didn't look as perfect but he was very nice and sounded great (though Millie wasn't so sure). The gifts were excellent. They had real reindeer too and the elf was just as lovely.

Below are a few photos from today's visit and also a photo of the photo they took last time we went and one of the lovely elf from that same visit. We didn't purchase the photo this year because Millie was a little unsure and so I was trying a little too hard to get her to feel comfortable (I looked deranged). This post isn't in anyway sponsored and is just a post off my own back but I would definitely recommend either location of Stewart's Garden Centre for next years Santa's Grotto. Just don't book until I've got our tickets!!!

What are we doing tomorrow?

“What are we doing tomorrow?”
But what about today?
Savour every minute,
Don’t hurry it away.

“What are we doing tomorrow?”
But its 9am on Monday.
Tuesday is a day away,
Don’t you want to play?

“What are we doing tomorrow?”
Today is going to be fun
Tomorrow doesn’t matter yet
As Today has just begun.

“But what are we doing tomorrow?”
Take each day as it breaks
Don’t wish your life along
A little time is all it takes

“No, what are we doing tomorrow?”
*Sigh* We are going to the park,
Then walking in the woods,
But home before it’s dark.

“OK”

Time is a gift and not to be wasted

Occasionally, there will be an event, a tragedy, a moment, something said, that makes you take a look at yourself and you realise you need to change, that your priorities are wrong.

It is unfortunate that so often it takes for something negative to lead you to do this but as long as we learn from our lessons and take something positive from it, we are only human and we should forgive ourselves.

A couple of these things happened last week that made me look introspectively at myself & realise I needed to change.

The first being the tragic and very unexpected loss of a young baby girl’s life. At just 9 months with no warning. I can’t even begin to imagine what her family are going through. They are the thoughts that when you have children you try constantly to push back into the darkest depths of your subconscious. My thoughts now go out to them. This unimaginable tragedy happened to a Mummy on Twitter, a mummy blogger which for some reason our paths haven’t before crossed on Twitter but she and her family have clearly touched so many and my Twitter timeline was full of fellow Tweeters paying their respects for her sad loss.

I, in no way, wish to compare as I have had no direct experience and everyone’s loss and grief is a personal thing but my poor Mum & (older) Sister have experienced the loss of a baby as my Sister was a twin but sadly, her identical twin sister, passed away at just 6 weeks old. In fact, it is the 39th anniversary of her death next week. Anita  is very much still a part of our family, even for me who wasn’t around when she was born. She is our family Guardian Angel. She is often talked about, talked to and remembered constantly.  A family doesn’t ever really get over that type of tragedy even though you learn to move on.

For this reason, I have been a little more aware, a little more nervous for the first 6 weeks of both my babies’ lives than perhaps I would’ve been. To know that after 9 months of carrying this little growing life inside you that you bring safely into this world, learn to love, get to know, ready to protect with your own life, then suddenly to find they can be taken away from you. As I say, we so often have to push those thoughts away to enable us to live our lives the best we can. I was already anxious for the first 6 weeks but this has reminded me, it can happen any time, 9 months, a year, 5 years, 11 years, 18 years…it is not right when a child goes before their parents whatever the age!

The second thing to make me think was a simple sentence from my Son, Callum. I confess to being a bit rubbish at playing with my children. I have a short attention span for such a thing, especially when it involves imaginary play – which is surprising considering I’ve always wanted to be an actress. I lose patience quickly whenever I try to do creative craft, arty stuff or cooking with Callum so, although I do these things from time to time, I no where near do them often enough.

I am also rubbish during the winter at getting motivated to getting outside the house so, unless I have something planned in advance, I can quite easily waste a day inside doing not a lot.

The worst thing I can do first thing in the morning, is pick up my laptop. For there I am glued until I am made to move by the needs of one of my children or my own hunger, thirst or call of nature.

What was the simple sentence uttered by my dearest son that made me ashamed and want to change? “Mummy I don’t like it when you sit here all the time” referring to usual position of my arse sat on the sofa with my laptop on my lap, or close by if I’m holding Millie

Shit! I can sometimes be a really crap mother!

I said to Stuart recently, I need to make the most of these days I am at home (not working) with the children and really appreciate them as before long I’ll be back on the hunt for a job and the likelihood will be that I get a full time job. Callum will be in school and Millie in nursery. I wont ever get these days back again. So why the hell am I wasting them? Why am I not grabbing every day and making it a memory?

So I’ve made a plan. I would say a promise but I don’t believe in promises as sometimes promises have to be broken and I don’t like broken promises. So I am going to say I’m really going to try my damned hardest to stick to this.

I am going to spend more time with and enjoying my children.

Should I not have any plans to meet a friend or my family I am going to go out to parks, soft play, walks, the beach, farms etc. These things don’t have to be expensive and are quite often free. Callum loves looking around pet shops or fish shops (the aquarium kind not the fried type). Once a fortnight I will try to either bake or get arty with Callum and/or Millie (admittedly a little more difficult with Millie). I will try to make myself join in games with Callum, especially when Millie is sleeping.

To ensure this happens, I have to limit my computer use so I propose the following:

• I will not pick up my laptop Monday to Wednesday until the evening/children are in bed unless Callum is happily watching a DVD (which isn’t actually that often).
• On Thursdays and Fridays, when Callum is at nursery, I will limit my laptop time to when Millie is napping and again once children are in bed.
• I will allow myself to use my phone during the above times unless I notice this taking over important family time.

I think this is realistic and should be easy to stick to.

I am not perfect and I may slip into bad habits from time to time but hopefully, by writing it down, I am more committed and can remind myself of what I have pledged by reading this back. I want to be a better Mummy and I want to make the most of these days so we can all look back at the memories we’ve made.

Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

Its getting to that time of year again. Christmas! I blogged about my thoughts on Christmas over on t’other blog which is here if you want to read it.

Like the majority of children that celebrate this time of year, I loved Christmas growing up. When my siblings and I were kids the excitement started on Christmas Eves when we would have a bath and get dressed in our brand new Christmas ‘jimjams’, eat our chocolate money in front of the Christmas tree while my Mum took her annual catalogue of photos for the Christmas album.

Then we used to go to bed nice and early (had to be before midnight or Father Christmas wouldn’t come) and lay there willing ourselves to sleep so he wouldn’t pass our house by but the excitement being all too much.

On Christmas morning, it would be a competition to see which of my brother, sister or I could wake up first and whoever it was would run into the others’ bedrooms shouting “he’s been, he’s been” wielding our stockings. It used to really annoy me that I could never wake up first and my brother or sister always used to win until the year, I finally woke up first…but because my brother and sister are 7.5 and 8.5 years older than me, respectively, by this stage they were well into their teenage years and used to start the ‘cheer’ on Christmas eve and lay in as long as possible on Christmas morning. So there’s me running in to wake them up and they weren’t bothered any more and shooed me away!

Then, as we all grew up and moved away from home, Christmas lost a bit of its magic for me. Instead of sharing it with my family I chose to share it with my friends and/or my boyfriend for a few years.

But now that magic is back – now that we have our own children. Especially this year, as Callum will be 4. Christmas meant something to Callum last year, he got the excitement and Father Christmas but this year is even better because he remembers last year and knows what is about to happen again. On top of that, he has a baby sister to share it with – not that Millie will have a clue what is going on or will remember for next year.

We have already taken Callum to see Father Christmas. We took him to see him at Stewarts Garden Centre in Somerford, Christchurch, yesterday. It was the first year that Callum hasn’t been scared of him. He was a little shy but he stood there on his own in front of Father Christmas (we were about 2 ft away in the room with him) and nodded to all of his questions. He happily went to sit next to him for a photo and said “and then you’ll come to my house” as we were leaving. He voluntarily spoke to Father Christmas! This is huge! Callum was absolutely thrilled with his helicopter present too!

Aside from the bar humbugness of the Christmas shopping (which I’ve very nearly finished thankfully) and the fear of whether I am going to survive cooking Christmas dinner for 11 (6 adults, 2 older children and 3 younger children), I can’t wait for Christmas day and seeing Callum’s excited eyes once he has seen Father Christmas has been, eaten his mince pie and drunk his Baileys (yes, Baileys in this house!!) and filled his and Millie’s stocking full!