Key Worker Translator

I love going into nursery to pick up Millie and listening to her key worker and other nursery staff tell me what a great day my daughter has had…who doesn’t love to hear good things about their kids, especially when I miss so much of her day. Then recently I realised that maybe their smile was a little bit pinched at the corners, and the teeth a little bit gritted and maybe they weren’t being entirely truthful – well not all the time.

So I’ve thought a bit more about what they are telling me and remembering back to when Callum was at nursery and think possibly nursery workers are clever at disguising what they really mean. But I think I’ve worked out their translation! Below are things I have heard nursery workers say about Millie, Callum and other children too and I’ve translated what I think they are really saying.

“She knows what she wants, doesn’t she?”

She is stubborn, bossy and spoilt

“Does she play rough with Callum?”

She is the nursery bully

“She is such a little character”

She is a little madam

“His teddy has been well loved”

It’s so filthy it must be harbouring all sort of undiscovered life

“S/He likes his food and eats everything we give him”

We only give them small portions so we can tell you that and so they go home and eat your food instead of ours

“He got a bit over-excited at play time”

He purposefully pushed her over

“He loves sitting on the double bike while Little Jonny loves to peddle him round the garden”

He is lazy and Little Jonny is a mug

3.30pm on a Friday: “she’s not herself and has a temperature”

It’s Friday and I want to go home early to crack open the wine

“You’re early today”

You’re early for once

“I was just about to change her nappy, would you like to do it?”

You’re her mummy, you should do it…plus it’s a stinky one!

What do they say at your child’s nursery or childcare centre?

What are we doing tomorrow?

“What are we doing tomorrow?”
But what about today?
Savour every minute,
Don’t hurry it away.

“What are we doing tomorrow?”
But its 9am on Monday.
Tuesday is a day away,
Don’t you want to play?

“What are we doing tomorrow?”
Today is going to be fun
Tomorrow doesn’t matter yet
As Today has just begun.

“But what are we doing tomorrow?”
Take each day as it breaks
Don’t wish your life along
A little time is all it takes

“No, what are we doing tomorrow?”
*Sigh* We are going to the park,
Then walking in the woods,
But home before it’s dark.

“OK”

My Top Mummy Fashion Accessories

There are a number of new fashion accessories that have made their way into my life since I’ve become a mummy of a young baby again. What’s more, they are unisex so not just to be worn by the ladies. Here are some of the items I just can’t live without…

Dummy Ring

Forget those dazzling sparklers or chunky costume rings, this is the latest ring on the block. Makes a statement & slides over any finger no matter the size. (Try to read this item’s details without a childish snigger!!!)

Muslin Scarf

Can be thrown around your neck, your baby’s neck, over your shoulder, tied around your belt buckle, left dangling from your pocket. Can come in a variety of colours and some with added embroidery or motives.

Change Bag

Forget your big designer handbags or your chic little clutch, push them aside as there’s a new bag in town – the Change Bag. Many different styles and you can find yourself spending just as much as those designer numbers but here’s my bargain tip. Just join Boots Parenting Club & you can get this stunning sexy little number. What’s more, it comes in the perfect colour to match any outfit, black. This also means your partner wont be embarrassed to carry it into the baby changing room – so no excuses guys!

Rattle Bangle

What better bangle could you display donning your elegant wrist than this fabulous, colourful twisty teether rattle. Rather than having to wear a number of bangles to achieve that satisfying jingle jangle, just give your wrist a shake to hear the wonderful shing shing of this rattle bangle.

Eau de Baba Pooke

You’re a mummy and proud so why not share that joyous baby smell that everyone loves with this delightful perfume. What’s more its free, Just jiggle your baby after a feed and voila. Works perfectly with the Muslin Scarf as can be applied directly to the scarf before wearing!

Eau de Baba Poop

By the maker of Eau de Baba Pooke, comes this fragrant scent can be worn on its own or works perfectly in conjunction with Eau de Baba Pooke to give that well rounded much sort baby smell.

What Mummy Fashion Accessories can you not seem to live without? (however much you want to!).