5 months, 1 week

I feel like I'm on a constant emotional roller-coaster.

Still having sleeping issues. Was in tears again today as it took me 35 minutes to get Callum to go to sleep, only for him to sleep for just 30 minutes. He had been doing longer sleeps over the weekend (although still taking a while to get to sleep), usually an hour but he didn't have longer than 30 minutes today. 

It hasn't helped that I am really tired. For the last few nights, Callum has gone back to waking twice in the night too. Just when we thought the nights were improving! As I've said before, 1 step forward, 2 steps back!

I have gone right back to the beginning again (again!!!) with the getting him to sleep. I'm trying to keep the routine as similar as possible whether it is day or night. The only things I do differently at night is bath, massage and bottle. He isn't fed to sleep so the bottle doesn't really make a difference and it isn't practical to do the bath and massage for every sleep. Callum has stopped going down easily both during the day and at night now. I did think that I had tried 'going back to the beginning' before and it didn't work but I don't think I have done it properly. Before Christmas, when I got Callum to go to sleep in his cot, I got right down next to his cheek and shushed him. I had been shushing him but I hadn't got right down cheek to cheek - I didn't want my hair to be pulled. Today, I tried this twice and, both times, he went to sleep much quicker - 5-10 minutes, and I didn't get pulled hair either! Just a scratched face :o(. Anyway, I'm going to try this a few times and then phase it out again. I can but try. 

I've also given myself a mental shake as I know we are doing better than some people. Callum isn't rocked to sleep (though it was heading back that way) anymore, he sleeps in his cot (even if only for 30 minutes), he no longer has a dummy, he isn't fed to sleep (i.e., he doesn't go to sleep on the bottle), he does usually sleep from 7 'til 7 even if he does wake up - also, he goes straight back to sleep after feeding during the night. I have to remember these positive things instead of dwelling on the negatives but it is hard. 

I had a little break from Callum on Saturday when Stuart looked after him while I went shopping for a few hours but it has been hard these last few weeks, not having much of a break from him. Actually, we did go out on Friday night too. A friend babysat while we went for dinner. Still, I still feel very exhausted from it all.