I am curious, what 'rules' did you set, if any, to anyone, in the last few weeks of pregnancy.
Stuart & I agreed both last time and this time that he would stop drinking alcohol so he would be ok to drive to the hospital. Labour & birth being as unpredictable as it is, you can't really guess when it will happen and therefore know when it is ok to drink and when it isn't. This was proved last time when we decided when Stuart's brother visited that it was unlikely to be that weekend as it was still only 36 weeks that he'd be ok to drink. HAHAHAHA, yeah, needless to say, it all happened that weekend!
This time Stuart originally set an over-ambitious target for not drinking at about 34 weeks. Although he kind of cut down, maybe knocking off one or two drinking night's a week he didn't stick to a completely t-total lifestyle. I would have suggested he stop at 35 weeks and 1 day (being as 35 weeks was when he was best man at his friends wedding). Anyway, I turned 36 weeks today, 3 days before the equivalent time to when my waters broke & Stuart is out drinking (second time to drink alcohol this week). He has an excuse, he always has an excuse but to me it feels like he has his priorities wrong. We already learnt before that babies and bodies don't care if it's the last time you'll see someone again (in a work capacity not a close friend or even just a friend really), they don't care if you had a hard day, they don't care if everyone else is drinking and you don't want to be left out or even if someone twisted your arm. It's a game of chance, last time, we didn't lose as Stuart was unlikely to be over the limit but we certainly didn't risk it and get away with it either.
Don't get me wrong, if Stuart understood moderation, it wouldn't be an issue. I would trust that he'd have one or two pints then walk away or switch to soft drinks. But that's not Stuart, and he doesn't do moderation!
So I'm disappointed! But I do question whether I expect too much! After all, I could go overdue & it could be another 6 weeks before baby arrives. What are the chances of what happened last time happening again? About 5% according to my consultant. Is the odd night here and there really going to hurt?
So, I'm keen to hear your views, what 'rules' did you and your other half have in place, did you both stick to them etc. please share your opinions & stories.
Honestly? I don't think that you are expecting too much. That said, my own darling man never quite managed to completely go tea total either and much like you, I thought he had his priorities wrong too. It used to make me so cross that he couldn't go without a drink for those last few weeks. Especially as I didn't touch a drop of alcohol for the whole of my pregnancies or when I was breastfeeding. I just don't think that they feel the same urgency as us somehow but seriously, it's not a lot to ask, is it? Rant over! Ha!ReplyDelete
I think that is part of it, we sacrifice so much to ensure we look after our unborn babes and for so long that it's frustrating they can't make one sacrifice for 1 month. Hey ho! I'm definitely coming back as a seahorse in my next life lol!Delete
When I was pregnant we agreed on the same rule. I was dubious about it working as my being teetotal was a given but my OH enjoyed his wine. He ultimately made the decision and I had said that if I went in labour and he'd had a drink I would not get in the car with him. Drink + adrenaline + nerves etc to me would not be a chance I was willing to take.ReplyDelete
I remember it went from being no drink to a couple of glasses. The first time I saw him with that wine bottle I was so upset. He later said he had forgotten that he had decided to give up until LO arrived but that only made it worse.
He very much sounds like Stuart is. I understand your disappointment completely and alcohol has always proved a sticking point between my OH and me. It hasn't stopped him being an amazing Dad and with the birth of our son it gave him the incentive to grow up and drink responsibly as it were. *hugs*
Thank you, it makes me feel better firstly that we are not the only ones to set the rule in the first place and secondly that I feel disappointed with him for not sticking with our rule (which was mutually agreed and not just enforced by me)Delete
Its very nice to sharing that what happening in your pregnancy time.I understand your disappointment.it happens in so many pregnant womens life.ReplyDelete
We have had a similar agreement (I prefer this word rather than 'rule'!) for my pregnancies and now I'm 36 weeks (too) my husband is sticking to it. I've tried to impress upon him that it's not the driving to hospital thing, more the fact that I could do with him being together & supportive if it all kicks off early. So it's 2 beers maximum from now on. But then he is able to do moderation. Some blokes find it easier than others. Some relish the opportunity for a bit of escapism with a pregnant wife and imminent newborn! Also we have 3 others which my husband helps with extensively as I'm struggling with pelvic girdle pain (& general exhaustion, let's face it!) so if he got mangled he knows he'd be the one to suffer :-)ReplyDelete