Ive been behaving like a bit of a diva recently with regards to the hospital I choose to have my baby in. The issue being, I was spoilt when I had Callum at the royal Surrey hospital in Guildford. Its a lovely hospital with great facilities. They make an effort with the rooms...even if it's just putting a picture on the wall and providing a comfy chair for the partners! It wasnt by any means perfect, the food was...special...and not in a good way, but I was happy to be having my baby there. Although the circumstances could have been better when I had Callum (my high bp, and Callum being early), and the epidural I had was only effective for the first hit, overall, I still had a positive birth experience. Being the only birth I've had, it is also my only point of reference.
So now we are in Bournemouth. My midwife tells me the hospital I'm most likely to go to doesn't offer tours and they don't offer mobile epidurals, which is what I had before. So I start to get nervous. I don't want to be bed bound and I don't want a catheter. This is the issue with having a full epidural.
I've also heard a couple of negative stories about Poole. What it looks like, how busy it is, how people have been turned away, bad experiences. Because of this, I started making enquiries about nearby Salisbury hospital. My midwife said she hasn't had anyone have their baby there but she had heard of people that had chose to go there over Poole so advised me to go and see it, which I did yesterday.
Let's just say it isn't guildford and isn't what I was hoping it would be. The various maternity wards were off a long concrete corridor not too disimilar to an underground war bunker. The rooms were hospital functional and nothing 'comfortable' about them. They did offer ensuite facilities with a nice big bath in 8 out of 10 of the labour rooms which Guildford didn't have but nothing else felt inviting. Like Poole, they didnt offer mobile epidurals. I asked if the lady showing us around knew of any differences between the facilities of Poole and Salisbury. She admitted she didn't know much about Poole but she did know it was busier than Salisbury and 'not as nice'. Well if Poole wasn't as nice as Salisbury it must be frightening!
I was really disappointed. I still wasn't going to get my epidural and I wasn't enamoured by what I saw.
So I came home and had a strop and moaned to a few people, twitter and Facebook. Then I gave myself a good talking to. I wasn't booking a holiday, I was having a baby! Everyone who has had more than one baby will tell you no two births are the same...it was highly likely I may not want, need or have time for an epidural. I may not care, when the time comes whether I'm bed bound or have a catheter. Who knows what would happen. I'm keen to try the birthing pool, if available, this time...that may be all the pain relief I need. Why was I stressing myself out over this when it may well be for nothing.
I also know from past experiences and was enforced on my reiki training, that the more you stress & force things the less they are likely to happen. If you relax and take things as they come they usually turn out right.
So that's what I'm going to do. I've taken a chill pill! What will be will be! I am still going to contact Poole to see if they do have a tour or to see if they will let me visit anyway, but if not, I'll accept it. I've since heard several really good reports of poole maternity unit and the care they provide. So time to stop worrying about it and put my efforts into growing this bubba!