Wednesday, 29 June 2011

Potty progress and Mummy Guilt

First off, the potty progress.

Ultimately, Callum is doing really well. Except one small accident today, he has mastered wees really quickly. Unfortunately, we are not having as much success with poos. I understand this is a common problem...I'm just not sure how to tackle it. After Callum has achieved his third full reward sheet of stickers, I'm thinking of either saying only giving a sticker if he has a completely accident free day or only giving a sticker for poos in a potty. I am worried that if we say only if he has a completely accident free day he will start trying to hold them in so perhaps the latter idea may work better.

I am trying to understand the reason for it in Callum's case and trying to learn from my previous mistakes and trust that he will get it eventually without pushing things too hard.

My thoughts for why he isn't doing it is for a couple of reasons as he does often sit on the potty and 'try' to poo. He often tries and complains it hurts because he is constipated. I think he is just having trouble identifying the difference between wind and poo. This is another reason why I think he will get it eventually.

I'm keeping cool about it - it is just such a shame when he has a completely dry day then in the evening he poos in his pants.

*fascinating blog post about poo* - when did my life get so exciting????

Anyway, onto other news....mummy guilt.

I smacked Callum tonight and feel awful about it. Callum bit me and broke the skin/drew blood. It was just my instinctive reaction to smack him. It has not been a natural reaction for me up until now to smack Callum. In fact, I find the opposite to be true. I am not sure why I am surprised as smacking/hitting anyone isn't natural for me so why should it be so to a child who I am very conscious of being smaller and more vulnerable than me? That's why I feel so bad about this. But it wasn't a conscious measured response that I thought about, it was an immediate reaction. I guess it is that control thing - it hurt and I lost control. Even after the event, he continued to play up and was a struggle to keep on the naughty step.

After though, I did show him the bite and he kissed it better and apologised. I did the same for smacking him and where I smacked him. I am a strong believer of 'practice what you preach' as in if you tell someone to not bite/hit/smack etc, how can they understand if you then demonstrate that behaviour to them.

It was a rare event so I am sure there wont be a repeat in the near future - it is just hard to consciously intercept an instinctive reaction to Callum's behaviour as I am sure he will try to hit/bite/smack me again in the future. Normally, it is straight to naughty step - the difference this time was the pain I felt at the time and my body's natural response to that.

I am recovering with large glass of wine!

The funny thing is, as I was growing up, I was smacked if I was naughty and I had always thought I would do the same with my children. Strange thing how your ideas change once you actually are a parent.

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