Saturday, 19 January 2008

4 weeks, 1 day

First full day of knowing I am pregnant.

Stuart and I did a test last night and I was fully expecting it to come back negative. The first test I’ve ever done was the previous month and I felt quite disappointed, or perhaps more deflated, when it came back negative that I had prepared myself for the same result this time.

I had just been to the loo when we decided to do the test so I drank two large glasses of water in the hope that there would be a waterfall, just to be able to manage a spring! However, surprisingly, it was enough and after about 40 seconds it came up in clear letters ‘pregnant’. I wasn’t even looking but just heard Stuart give a little cheer.

We were going out to dinner so decided to make it a celebratory dinner. The trying to work out what I can and can’t eat (on top of my normal fussiness) began. The main question this time was whether I could eat cream cheese? Does that count as a banned soft cheese? I did chance it but must look it up. Also, I had a glass of red wine as I was celebrating but fully expect it to be one of very few. Not really an issue at the moment though as we have been alcohol free since New Year.

Had a really bad nights sleep. Was absolutely exhausted but when I got to bed I was wide awake with everything going through my mind! Then I woke up at 5am needing the toilet. So, today is the start of wondering whether everything is because of pregnancy or whether it would have happened anyway. I read today that 78% of women get insomnia when pregnant. Also, you start to need the toilet more often (not really surprising when they are recommending you drink 8-10 glasses of water). And of course, the post-Christmas bulge is no longer chocolate, cheese and alcohol but has now become baby bulge of course!!! ;o)

What is really difficult is the fear that I am only 4 weeks and have another 8 weeks to go where I am still at risk. It is very real that it is quite possible something could happen before then with the high statistic of one in five pregnancies result in miscarriage.

But to finish on a positive note – come on big boobs! I am confident their growth has begun and am absolutely delighted my boobs are going to be bigger for at least 8 more months!

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