Friday 9 January 2015

Greener grasses or new glasses?

After a lovely Christmas break I'm having that familiar attack of 'the grass is greener in the other side'.

The rose tinted glasses are on and I'm seeing caring for the children full time as 'what fun we would have' and 'all the things we could do together'. 

But deep down I know it wouldn't be like that in reality. Give me a month or two and all of a sudden working down the coal mines would be like looking over the fence at a lush green meadow!

Don't get me wrong, of course I love spending time with my children and I love the little people they are and who they are becoming but, selfishly perhaps, when I am with them constantly longterm I miss me as an individual, as an adult, as someone other than 'mum'.

I've done it twice and was desperate to get back to work and to find who I was again. 

Part off me wonders whether this current wobble is my response to my current job satisfaction and perhaps I'd feel better in another job. If only I could have the best of both worlds. If I could find a part time job and balance both roles better. 

But when I'm working I'm driven and ambitious. Can I still be those things if I am working part time. 

Does everyone go round and round in their head with these thoughts or am I the only person who is never happy with their plate? 

Well as my new years resolution was to be grateful for what I have,  I'm going to be grateful that I have a full time job with security and that I can afford to pay for childcare for my kiddies and I'm going to make the most of the weekends we have together.  And perhaps it's time to keep a closer eye on the job market and look out for my next challenge. Whatever that may be. 

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