10 Weeks, 6 days

Well the emotional roller-coaster continues. I have my up days and then once or twice a week I have a mini breakdown - when Stuart comes to the rescue. I'm really thankful and appreciate the patience he has developed when dealing with me on these breakdowns. 

Callum is getting really interactive now. He is starting to show an interest in toys and his play gym, though he still isn't at the stage of grabbing things. He is also trying to talk which is lovely - although he can only say "Agoo". Stuart thinks he was saying "Hello" the other day. He is smiling lots and sort of laughing too, mainly at his mobile when he is in his cot. This is a life saver sometimes as it often allows me to shower if I haven't managed before he wakes up.

We are finally able to stretch feeding to every 3-4 hours now and he therefore usually eats 4-5 oz which is really making a difference to night times. I really think he was snacking before. I'm also not assuming he is hungry when he cries in the night and will first try comforting/burping/dummy before getting his milk.

However, had another bad night last night. It started off really well. He went down at 7.30pm in his room instead of downstairs and slept right through until I dream fed (feeding them when they are still asleep - before they wake up for food naturally - to encourage babes to sleep longer through night) him at 10.10pm. Unfortunately the dream feed didn't really work as he woke up at 1am. I was hoping he would make it to at least 2am. He then woke up at 3am but took his dummy but then he was wide awake. I changed his nappy which woke him up more and he was smiling and laughing at me. I rocked him to sleep and finally got back to bed at 4.30am but was up 10 mins later putting his dummy back in. Then it was 5am and feed time again. I got back in to bed at 5.45am but was called out of bed again shortly after for his dummy. By this time I was very cold and tired. I had just warmed up in bed when he cried again. I really didn't want to get out of bed again and let him cry for a bit in the hope he would go back to sleep on his own. Then Stuart woke up and said I should bring him into our bed. I was just going off to sleep again and was beginning to dream when the alarm went off for Stuart to get up at 6.45am. I really want to start getting up at 7am but I am so tired, I can't do it and have to go back to sleep again. I usually end up getting up at 8.3-9am instead.

I am confident the nights are getting better and we are making progress but these bad nights leave me exhausted.

On another note, I'm starting a pilatés course tomorrow which I'm really looking forward to. It will be good to do some exercise.