M is for Millie…and Mischief

Maybe as time has past, my memory has blurred. We do tend to pick out the bits we like or are more eventful in life. However, how I remember Callum is that he rarely had the aspiration to get up to too much mischief.

We had a cat yet only twice did he show an interest with playing sandcastles with the cat litter and never showed any desire to eat cat food or squidge it between his fingers. If we nipped to the loo, we could leave him playing safe in the knowledge he would highly likely be exactly where we left him when we returned. There was a period where he found it much fun to pull out all the CDs in the CD rack about 100 times a day but I do not recall any other relentless mischief!

Then along came Millie!

Don’t be fooled by that butter wouldn’t melt cheeky smile!

Yeah that one!

From before she could move we could tell that knowing look in her eye that as soon as she would learn to crawl she would be into EVERYTHING! And she was, except she became a bottom shuffler rather than a crawler. It was a wonder it took her so long to bottom shuffle with her insatiable curiosity!

Callum quite quickly grew out of the insistent throwing of food on the floor but no, Millie still finds it fascinating to see the reaction (even when I’m determined not to give her one) of throwing food, cutlery, plastic bowls, not so plastic bowls…oooh look, they don’t bounce!

Also, I never knew how fascinating it could be to see what happens when you tip bottles and cups upside down. You may not quite notice the first time, or the second, or even the third, fourth or fifth for that matter. In fact, maybe you should try it fifty times and you get an even better reaction if you pour it over your Daddy’s head.

It’s so lovely that she likes to draw and colour so much. Callum was never interested in colouring really, only getting into it in the last year. She has mastered the tripod grip on a pencil, I was so proud…until she decided to decorate the carpet, the toilet seat, the bedside table, the dressing table stool, the door…need I go on! And the continuous temptation of Callum’s felt tip pens is too great – queue big tantrums dare we deny her!

The latest game is seeing what happens when the dry cat food is thrown into the water bowl!

And the most infuriating thing is, you just can’t be cross! We’ve tried! Many a time! But she just looks and laughs and pulls the most adorable faces and your eyebrows start to quiver, your cheek twitches then before you know it you are hiding a giggle behind your hand!

She is relentless, exhausting, infuriating, but goddamn bloody cute and adorable too! Rah!

She Ain’t Heavy, She’s My Sister

It’s moments like this which make me so pleased that we were able to provide a sister (or sibling) for Callum and that we decided to try in the first place. There were discussions as to whether we would count our blessings with one child or did we try for a brother or sister for Callum. Both having siblings ourselves, we decided we wanted to offer Callum the experiences a sibling can provide and a chance to learn many a lesson from each other.

Callum is so helpful with Millie and has recently been asking if he can help her with her coat and shoes. He struggles with the buckle of the shoes but can happily take her coat on or off, managing the buttons just fine.

(Sorry about the quality of photos – having to use camera on an old phone at the moment)

Callum really does look out for Millie. Over Christmas, I had to work a couple of days while Stuart looked after the children. One particular day, they had run rings round Stuart and he was at the end of his tether so when Millie picked up Callum’s milk and poured it over his head, he was not best pleased and got cross with Millie…actually, there were a couple of other times that day where Millie tested his patience.

So, as soon as I put my key in the door, Callum was there: “Daddy shouted at Millie 3 times today!”.

If ever we say Millie is being naughty, he’ll jump in to defend her saying she isn’t naughty.

It makes me look forward to the future and I hope this is what it will always be like for them – wanting to help one another, be there for one another, stick up for one another. Callum, though sometimes he does get cross with Millie himself, ultimately is the caring big brother.

In time, as Millie gets older, I hope that Millie appreciates what she has in a brother like Callum rather than resents it. Knowing how her personality is shining through all ready, she’ll use it to her advantage and have him wrapped around her little finger! The best I could wish for is that Millie is there to stick up for her brother in just the same way.

They may not be close in age now but as they get older those years will dissolve into nothing, feeling more like minutes rather than years. I hope they continue to grow closer too.

 

With this Post I’m excited to be joining up with Dear Beautiful’s Siblings Linky. Please do visit her and the other blogs that are part of this link too. It’s such a beautiful idea.

There’s Only One Callum Bun

Callum

My little big boy is really blossoming into a lovely person. He has slotted into school life with no effort at all. I’d heard of other children struggling with the first term and their behaviour deteriorating and if Callum had gone to school in September 2012 I’m pretty sure he would’ve been the same but being the oldest in his year at the start of September 2013, he was so ready. Stuart and I went to a parent’s evening before Christmas and the teacher was happy with where he was at. His learning progress wasn’t anything to wow about (every parent wants to hear their child is a genius and the top of the class) but he was where his teacher expected him to be…for a boy! One thing I was proud of was his behaviour. He would sit and listen and would stick with something he was asked to do until he was finished. The other thing was that he had lots of friends. That was enough for us to squash any concerns we may have had!

I’ve recently started to notice a real improvement in his reading. He brings home a couple of books a week from school and carefully sounds out the words but is needing less and less help. Likewise, his writing is getting better and less HUGE. When he sees his homework book, he always wants to write something in it. We rarely follow the requested homework (bad mummy) as it often asks for Callum to draw a picture of what he has done and Callum, although loves putting pencil to paper as if to draw, is no artist! He rarely draws a recogniseable picture and prefers to scribble anything and tell you its a picture of something. Instead, we practice writing and counting and maths. We do it during the course of the day as a natural thing but don’t always document it in his book as by the time I get round to writing in it, I’ve forgotten what it was we’ve done. I’m pleased that his school doesn’t push the homework too much and rather just encourages you to complete it at this stage and the tasks are set more as ideas – well that’s my interpretation!

When I think about Callum, more than his educational progress, I think about his character, loving spirit and what a wonderful big brother he is.

For example, he baked cakes at his after school club the other week and was allowed to take 2 cakes home early (before decorating as they had more than they needed) so he tells me one is for him and the other is for Millie. A couple of days later, he brings home three decorated cakes who he announces are for him, Millie and Daddy. He doesn’t expect to eat them all himself and I don’t prompt him, he wants to share with others. If he has a banana and Millie wants some, he’ll often share it with her.

Of course, he will often say he is ‘helping’ Millie with her toys as an excuse to play with them himself and will hog the ‘best toys’ regardless of who they belong to, to himself but he does interact with her and play with her. But Millie will always want whatever Callum is playing with.

It always amazes me how someone is brought into their life and they are not told to love this new intrusion but somehow they do and it is clearly evident how much Callum loves Millie. When I pick Callum and Millie up from nursery (his after school club is attached to the nursery), I pick up Millie first then Callum. It isn’t me he runs to hug hello, it is Millie! He genuinely cares for her.

In many ways, he is a typical little boy – he whinges, as I said in Millie’s post, he is a wimp when he bumps himself (tough love mother!), he tries to get out of washing his face and cleaning his teeth, he drags everything out to take so much longer than necessary, especially when you are in a hurry. He has already developed the teenager trait of not wanting to get out of bed on a school day and has uttered the words “I hate you” (to which I unhelpfully laughed!). He loves Superheroes and PowerRangers and spends far too much time on the iPad!

These posts of Callum and Millie aren’t meant as boasts of ‘look how wonderful my child is’ but as parents is it so wrong to be proud of your child and look for their good traits. I’m sure we tell them off and moan about them enough too so it is good to praise them and ourselves when what they are doing is right, surely?

It is easy to get caught up in the bad moments sometimes, and only see them but if you take a step back and look at the overall picture, I can’t help but be proud of how he is turning out and hope that it is as a result of Stuart and my parenting…somewhere!

Then I look forward to the years ahead – he is going to pay me back when he gets to his teenage years isn’t he!?

You may have noticed that I’m last in line for cuddles (I do get lots) and that I may not be the one he wants to share his cakes with but when asked “Daddy or chips?” he chose chips!

Callum in January VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

Siblings: So Happy Together

When Stuart and I made (hopeful) plans for our family, we discussed aiming for a 4 year gap between children.

There were many reasons why:

• having an older child to 'help' with the baby
• 4+yrs were likely to mean less jealousy between siblings
• It was hoped the older child would be at school when the younger one came (in reality, Millie came a year before Callum started school as he is a September baby).
• less likely for sibling rivalry and fighting

and many more. I assumed the downside to the longer gap would be our children would be less likely to play together.

We were very lucky and feel blessed that mother nature (and maybe an angel or two) deemed us fit to grant us our wishes with two children born just 2 weeks short of 4 years apart.

As we hoped, the 4 year gap has proved perfect for us. The best thing is Callum is so caring with Millie. He really looks after her. If I need to pop to the kitchen to cook while they are playing in the lounge, he'll look after her. If I ask him to fetch something for her, he will. He 'reads' books to her. He talks to her so sweetly too.

However, I was wrong about Callum and Millie not playing together. Obviously, Millie at nearly 17 months doesn't fully understand playing with someone else yet but Callum will build her towers and 'help' her with her toys. Of course he often gets cross with her and doesn't want her playing with his toys on occasion but if I suggest to him he let her play with one of his power ranges, for example, while he plays with the others, he will.

I love watching how they interact with one another and taking opportunity to snap photos of them together. Which is why I couldn't wait to take part in the Siblings linky, being hosted by Lucy over at Dear Beautiful, and others who you can see on her blog. The idea is to capture a photo of your children together once a month and share it with everyone.

This is my two. I walked into the play room the other morning to see this scene - Callum was trying to help Millie with her hair clip.

I'm now looking forward to looking at everyone else's photos.

Google Search: What should I do, my baby has eaten bird poo?

We had it easy with Callum. It may just be my memory sugar-coating it & so I’m looking back through rose tinted glasses but how I remember it is that if we told Callum “don’t” when he went to touch or do something he wasn’t allowed, it would only take a couple of times of saying this to him & moving him away for him to get bored and stop doing it. We had a cat which meant we had a litter tray and cat food – he only tried to eat the cat litter once and he never went for the cat food. We never got a stair gate because as soon as he showed an interest in the stairs, I taught him how to come down and he was very good at doing so correctly. We were very lucky!

I would have loved to have put it down to our parenting rather than accept we just had a pretty lazy little boy whose curiosity was easily & quickly satisfied. Unfortunately, I don’t think we are going to have it so easy with Millie!

Already, she is into everything even with her limited bum shuffle range. She will not accept “No”, “Don’t”, etc, regardless of how many times we tell her, move her, distract her!

She goes for everything she shouldn’t!

She already has a list of 'gross’ things she has eaten (I say eaten, none of which she has actually swallowed except number 4) which currently consists of:

1. Loves licking suncream, I have to keep the bottle way out of her reach while putting it on but even when I’ve just put it on she starts licking it off.
2. Flipflops, slippers & other shoes – she always manages to make her way to the shoes when I’m distracted! Or best yet, when I’m wearing them! She was going for a man’s trainers at swimming today!
3. Plant leaves
4. Sand
5. Stones
6. Contents of her nappy bin
7. And the best yet – bird poo!

Clearly I don’t let her eat these things, it will be at the first opportunity my back is turn for just a second or while I’m running for the loo. I’ll check she is clear from anything I think she is going to go for and sure enough, I return to find she has found something I haven’t thought of or has wanted it enough to bum shuffle at some speed!

After the ease of Callum, I would’ve called Social Services on myself if I hadn’t have had friends when Callum was little who shared their own stories of weird & wonderful things their darlings had managed to consume. Cat/dog food appears to be a firm favourite. Considering we are just about to get a kitten I’ll look forward to that!

We may have to rethink our no child-proofing “they’ll learn the hard way” approach to parenting for this one!

Please make me feel better – what weird & wonderful things have your LOs eaten…bet you can’t top bird poo!!!

Sleep! Oh How I’ve Missed You!

It has taken 8.5 months, 2.5 months longer than her brother, but I can now confidently say (*bites lip & frantically searches for wood*) that Millie is sleeping through the night! For the past week, Millie has slept through from about 6.15-6.30 until between 6.15-7am every single night with just one stir around our bedtime for her dummy…in fact, she stirred last night then settled herself back to sleep without the dummy!

WOOOOOOHHOOOOOOOOOOOO! I FEEL HUMAN AGAIN!!!!!!

Forgive me but I feel that deserved to be shouted from the rooftops! With my search for work having begun, I was nervous about struggling to get up at the crack of dawn for work while still getting up in the night!

Strangely, it is now like my body has gone into catch up drive! Wanting to catch up on all that missed sleep from the last 9 months. I struggle to wake up and then feel exhaustingly tired around mid-afternoon! I can even go back to sleep if I wake up early – I never used to be able to do this; once I was awake, I was awake for the day.

Dreams are also on catch up. Not sure if you know this but when you don’t sleep much, you have less REM sleep (which is when we dream). Dreaming is our minds way of processing what has happened during the day and storing new things we have learnt etc. It is important for us to dream. So when we do get a good solid night of sleep, we tend to dream more to make up for the lost dream time before. So I have been dreaming lots of weird and wonderful things but nothing of interest to blog about (you really don’t want to know about how I couldn’t shake poo off my hand do you?!).

Anyway, back to Millie! Other than the sleep, not much else is new. She is eating with vigour, trying everything (EVERYTHING!!!) in site…well as far as she can bend in double & stretch to reach. Still no moving by way of roll, crawl, bum shuffle or commando crawl! Apart from the odd occasion when she rolls back to front in her cot & then complains because she is stuck! For the time being, I am enjoying being able to plonk her somewhere and for her to stay there so, although I don’t want to hinder her moving progress, I am happy for her to do it in her own time.

We have 2 teeth! Two teeny weeny but very sharp little bottom teeth! This is already making a difference with her eating. She actually uses the teeth to rip food off a bigger piece now.

            

Her babbling has a range of dadadadanananananalalalalalagagagagaga now and sometimes she sounds like she is trying to sing or have a conversation with you. So cute!

I feel she is on the verge of clapping. She loves watching what you do with your hands and occasionally brings them together but that’s as far as it goes.

She is at that age where everyone wants to talk to her! Supermarket shopping can double in time as we get stopped by every other person who wants to talk to her. I love it and feel so proud but it does make shopping to a restricted time-limit rather challenging!

Callum is lovely with her and apart from wanting to take ownership of all of Millie’s toys but not so keen to return the favour with his own, he really does love her and looks after her. I really hope (and I can see that it might) that stays with them throughout their lives as they grow up. Seeing them together I know we made the right choice of trying for a 4 year age gap.

I feel so very blessed!…and human!

Millie at 7 Months

 

As Millie is approaching 7 months old (in 2 days) I thought I’d give a bit of an update on how she is doing, aside from the weaning.

Millie has been sitting up well now for about a month, first sitting up at about 5.5 months. She still has the occasional fall so I do still protect her but she is much better at correcting any over-balance.

I feel like we’ve been at the are we, aren’t we teething stage since forever! Second guessing every grump or symptom. Every week is a different teething symptom. Last week was the acidic dribble causing her a sore mouth, particularly where her dummy rubs (she only uses it at night) and crying out randomly in sobbing tears (Millie doesn’t really cry, just sort of grunts when she is tired or hungry so this really breaks your heart), this week is the snotty bum! Still no sign of those blasted teeth though! She has been particularly unsettled today leaving me confused an hour after waking whether she wants to go back to sleep as she only had a short nap last time or whether a couple of hours after her last feed she wants feeding again and only having a couple of ounces.

One thing that I have noticed, where teething is concerned, that is different to Callum is the acidic dribble. Callum wasn’t much of a dribbler at all really but he had the most awful nappy rash. So red raw that it was close to bleeding and took ages to clear up*. Whereas Millie is a dribbler. Millie gets sore around her mouth with dribble rash but doesn’t suffer from nappy rash (*quickly touches wood/forehead*, not so far anyway). I guess that’s it, Callum swallowed his dribble so it caused the rash at the other end.

Back to Millie progress!

One thing I’m loving at the moment is her babbling. I noticed about 10 days ago that she was saying a kind of “dadadadada” which I was most excited to tell Stuart about…and immediately started to counter with saying “mmmmm mmmmm mmmmm” back at her to no avail! But now she also says “lalalalala” and “blablablabla”. I love it, its adorable!

Things that make her laugh are squealing or screaming at her; whispering into one ear or nuzzling her neck. She also loves Round & Round the Garden done on her tummy and then tickling the right side of her neck getting excited as you walk up the fingers to her neck. Oh, and of course, Row, Row, Row the Boat with actions!

She has rolled back to front, properly with no assistance, just the once but yay, she has done it!

Callum is so good and lovely with her. He’ll have cuddles with her and try to get her to hold his hand. He asks to kiss her goodnight when she is going for a nap. He is still quite protective over his toys…just he wait until she starts crawling!

Lastly, to finish on my favourite point, when I pass Millie over for someone else to hold her, she looks at me as if making sure I’m not running off anywhere. The love I feel she has for me at that moment, in that one look, just makes me feel so warm inside and melts my heart.

* Click here for what I tried & what worked on Callum’s acute nappy rash

Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

Its getting to that time of year again. Christmas! I blogged about my thoughts on Christmas over on t’other blog which is here if you want to read it.

Like the majority of children that celebrate this time of year, I loved Christmas growing up. When my siblings and I were kids the excitement started on Christmas Eves when we would have a bath and get dressed in our brand new Christmas ‘jimjams’, eat our chocolate money in front of the Christmas tree while my Mum took her annual catalogue of photos for the Christmas album.

Then we used to go to bed nice and early (had to be before midnight or Father Christmas wouldn’t come) and lay there willing ourselves to sleep so he wouldn’t pass our house by but the excitement being all too much.

On Christmas morning, it would be a competition to see which of my brother, sister or I could wake up first and whoever it was would run into the others’ bedrooms shouting “he’s been, he’s been” wielding our stockings. It used to really annoy me that I could never wake up first and my brother or sister always used to win until the year, I finally woke up first…but because my brother and sister are 7.5 and 8.5 years older than me, respectively, by this stage they were well into their teenage years and used to start the ‘cheer’ on Christmas eve and lay in as long as possible on Christmas morning. So there’s me running in to wake them up and they weren’t bothered any more and shooed me away!

Then, as we all grew up and moved away from home, Christmas lost a bit of its magic for me. Instead of sharing it with my family I chose to share it with my friends and/or my boyfriend for a few years.

But now that magic is back – now that we have our own children. Especially this year, as Callum will be 4. Christmas meant something to Callum last year, he got the excitement and Father Christmas but this year is even better because he remembers last year and knows what is about to happen again. On top of that, he has a baby sister to share it with – not that Millie will have a clue what is going on or will remember for next year.

We have already taken Callum to see Father Christmas. We took him to see him at Stewarts Garden Centre in Somerford, Christchurch, yesterday. It was the first year that Callum hasn’t been scared of him. He was a little shy but he stood there on his own in front of Father Christmas (we were about 2 ft away in the room with him) and nodded to all of his questions. He happily went to sit next to him for a photo and said “and then you’ll come to my house” as we were leaving. He voluntarily spoke to Father Christmas! This is huge! Callum was absolutely thrilled with his helicopter present too!

Aside from the bar humbugness of the Christmas shopping (which I’ve very nearly finished thankfully) and the fear of whether I am going to survive cooking Christmas dinner for 11 (6 adults, 2 older children and 3 younger children), I can’t wait for Christmas day and seeing Callum’s excited eyes once he has seen Father Christmas has been, eaten his mince pie and drunk his Baileys (yes, Baileys in this house!!) and filled his and Millie’s stocking full!

Comparing Chalk to Cheese? More Cheddar to Feta!

Despite repeating the mantra “every child is different” it is still natural, when you have more than one child, to compare! Are they more chilled? Do they sleep better? When did the first one sit up, roll over, crawl etc, and will this one be sooner or later?

You hear stories from friends, family, strangers in the street – “oh the second child is a lot more chilled than the first, they have to be”. “My John was a great sleeper but his little brother, Roger, had us up every night until the age of 20!!”.

So, yes, I’ve been doing my own little bit of comparing since Millie arrived!

Night-time Sleep

My memory of Callum was of the constant battle to get him to sleep through the night but waking up about every 1.5 to 2 hours at the start and every 3 to 4 hours near the end, eventually doing the much anticipated but felt illusive ‘sleep through’ at about 6 months! I considered this quite average. Not “my baby slept through at 6 weeks” wonderful but not “my child still wakes us up every night at aged 3” fear.

Millie, apart from the first few days where she was very ‘typical’ of a newborn, feeding all though the night and sleeping all through the day, it was very early on when she gave me a taste of sleep. Within the first couple of weeks she did a couple of 7 hour stints, then regularly slotted into a 6 hour sleep at night but once or twice going as long as 8 hours!

But that is no more – after playing around with formula versus breastmilk for a while (her and me) she has now slotted into a sleep about 8pm, wake for dummy about 11.30pm – feed between 1 and 2am then feed about 4am. I say “slotted into” like it is some sort of regular routine. She has done this for last 2 nights but still every night can be very different so I hesitate to say it is her ‘usual’ routine.

I will say, though, that she appeared to sleep much better when solely breastfed even when she was breastfed through the night but formula fed through the day I’m sure the 2nd 4am feed used to be more like 5am!

I sometimes wish she never granted me with that little taste – I’d probably feel much better about the wake ups now!

Day-time sleep

For Callum I remember holding him, rocking him, attempting to lay him in the cot, bending myself double so he thought he was still firmly held to me, managing to get him horizontal, gently starting to place him on the cot then “waaaaaaaaaaaaah” – screaming like I was placing him in a bath full of acid!

Trying to get him to sleep day or night on his own, self-soothing was laughable and reading back in my blog it appears I could spend a whole hour trying to get him off for a nap. But I also think I tried to push him into a fixed daytime sleep routine too soon. I still don’t have such a thing with Millie. With Millie, I’m all about the cues – the first yawn & grizzle she is straight up to bed whether she has been awake an hour or 2 hours, she leads the way and I place her down in her gro-bag (sleeping bag type thing) with her dummy in, place her muslin one side, her bunny comforter the other side, draw blinds & walk out the room. I may have to go into her once or twice to replace her dummy or muslin but it really is very little effort. If she is overtired due to missing the cues or trying to stretch her a little longer for whatever reason then I may have to hold her to sleep but even when this is the case, I can usually just get her to drowsy & place her down in her cot. With Callum, I never saw a cue until it was too late!

Feeding

Their feeding patterns appear to be quite similar. Both have hit a 2oz per feed max phase about the same 3 month point. Neither of them ever ‘big’ eaters. I don’t think we ever got Callum up to 8oz and he wasn’t a big scoffer though he would take a bottle nearly every time you offered it, just maybe not take very much. This means, if he had his last bottle a couple of hours ago but I was giving him another as part of his bedtime routine, he would take it. Millie – not a chance! If only half hour before her next feed she will refuse, pushing the teat out with her tongue and batting the bottle away with her hands. She will sleep then wake up at her proper feed time – the little madam!!!

Development

Despite Callum being born 3.5 weeks early, he was pretty strong at holding his neck up and Millie followed suit but, if anything was even stronger than Callum. Her legs constantly wanted to stand & she would throw herself back away from you with such force that you were scared she was going to throw herself out of your hands – you daren’t hold her with one arm/hand when she was upright.

Then very early on she blessed us with a smile, then shortly following a laugh. Her first roll from front to back was at 12 weeks – Callum was 6 months, 3 weeks before his first roll though was very early to sit at 5 months. We don’t know for Millie yet – its too early for sitting.

Of course, its still far too soon to tell how different their personalities are going to be and any further development milestones are unknown. But its exciting waiting to find out.

I think it is not so much that Millie is more chilled than Callum but when she hits the same or similar phases to Callum, I am more chilled about it & know things will take their own course there’s no use getting stressed about it. Apart from the milk consumption – I can’t help thinking if I could just get more milk into her during the day she’ll sleep better at night but – if my memory does serve me right it isn’t necessarily that one will naturally follow the other, I think the sleep came before the milk consumption for Callum.

It will be interesting to do another one of these posts in a couple of months time comparing the 6 months stage.

Callum & Millie both at aproximately 14 Weeks

 

12 Weeks: Time for reflection

12 weeks is the new 6 weeks! I finally feel things are coming together and ‘normalising’ some what. We are surviving and, what’s more, it feels less like ‘survival’ and more like ‘coping’.

Its so hard when a newborn comes along to see past the suffocating fog that surrounds you. You can’t see any way out or any end to it, it just bogs you down.

It has been easier the second time round because at least you know that it does get better, allowing you to just have faith that it will. Even still, its difficult not to doubt that there will ever be an end. You hear stories about other people’s second children – they are either so much easier than their first or the first was an angel and their second a nightmare! I found myself asking, which would Millie be? Was Callum a good or a bad sleeper? I thought he was pretty average – not awful but not great either.

In truth, a lot of what Millie does or the phases she has gone through have been similar to Callum but I am a lot more relaxed this time. I know it is ‘normal’ and that the less I stress about it, the quicker the phase will pass, and it does! Because of my relaxed attitude she does seem to go through these phases quicker than Callum. For sleep issues, I know that she’ll eventually just ‘get it’ and all I can do is provide her with some kind of routine but be flexible enough to know that things change and I will have to change with them.

For the moment (and it is always ‘for the moment’ – see point above), Millie is napping in her cot without too much fuss getting her to sleep (there was lots of rocking and him waking as soon as he touched the bed) – not for longer than 45 minutes to an hour but I’m not worried about that yet, she’ll work it out. Millie is going longer through the night again AND is also in her own room in her cot. Millie is happy. She is putting on weight. She is, as everyone comments, very alert (cos the world needs Lerts!), strong and developing daily. She’s happy, I’m happy – that’s all that matters.

That said, she has been a bit out of sorts today after her 2nd lot of jabs yesterday so I’m prepared for it all to change again tonight.

Of course, there are bad days – when the tiredness really sets in, I feel I can’t cope. I look around at the mess and I panic that I’ll never get round to catching up with the washing or manage to grab any kind of lunch anytime soon. People tell you it isn’t important but you can’t understand that – the fog sets in again. But then the next day, all will be right with the world again, and I know, even when that bad day is happening, that it is only because I am tired – tomorrow will be better.

The hardest bit for me now, is convincing others that I’m happy with how things are progressing and trying not to let them influence me and start worrying over nothing because, of course, everyone has an opinion and thinks that the way they did it was better and they never had the problems you’re having! I now just go along with it, smile and think, they’ll see soon enough!

11 Week Update

So we have been a family of four for over 11 weeks already and the time has flown by!

Millie is so alert and is so easy to make smile. She is trying to laugh and chat back to you in her own little “agoo” way. I remember Callum’s babbling started exactly the same. She is really into her hanging toys on her play gym, giving then a good bash - although not interested in anything handheld like a rattle as of yet.

She is strong and is much happier to be left on her front, lifting her head up than her brother was, though she soon gets fed up and starts trying to swing her legs over. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was rolling before Christmas.

After some up and downs with the whole ‘to bottle feed or not to bottle feed’ dilema, we are now on bottle feeding in the day and breastfeeding at night & for the first feed of the morning. I am happy like this and would like to keep feeding this way for as long as possible. It suits us! It, of course, means I am solely responsible for all the night time feeds and can not spend a night away from Millie at the moment (I could of course express so someone else could do a night feed, but I wouldn’t want to at the moment – certainly not until we’ve been feeding like this for a few more weeks) but I’m happy with that and its not forever.

I am also incredibly proud of myself for achieving my breastfeeding goals – to feed longer than with Callum and to feed off both breasts not just the left. I am also proud have managed to maintain it this long. Its been hard work and there were so many times I wanted to pack it all in at the start but sheer bloody-mindedness kept me going on!

Now for the next challenge! Actually, I am staying pretty relaxed about it (most of the time) rather than thinking of it as a challenge. I’ve remembered the “they’ll do things in their own time” mantra. I have started to try to put Millie down awake so she soothes herself to sleep. It doesn’t work every time…in fact most of the time…but it does occasionally and soon there will be enough of a pattern to her days that we can get some clear routine in place for naps and we can introduce her to sleeping in her cot.

Its through all these stages that I really miss not having an NCT group like with Callum. I have some Mummy ‘friends’ on Twitter who have had babies around the same time and we do tend to ask one another questions but it isn’t the same as when all the mums and babes would meet up from week to week and discuss every inch of our child’s development & routine and compare (in a good way) to one another – not to mention the support everyone gave each other.

We had Millie’s first photoshoot session today. No idea how the photos will turn out. I had a number of outfits but only got a couple in one of my favourites and didn’t get to wear the last one as she started to have enough – not helped by the hiccups. She lasted a good half an hour though and there were some smiles. It will be good to see the results. Hopefully there’ll be at least one nice one anyway!

Callum is just starting to show a little resentment of Millie now. Not anything too obvious or anything nasty directed at Millie but his neediness of us is increasing. We are trying to encourage him to be self-sufficient. Stuff he has been able to do for ages but gets lazy and relies on us for, such as getting dressed himself, cleaning his teeth etc as well as ensuring he remembers his manners etc. He sometimes pushes back on these things for attention and to get some more one on one time with us. He often holds on to one of us for that little extra bit longer too and isn’t so willing to leave nursery at the end of the day. I’m trying to find some time to do things just for him, if Millie is sleeping in her moses basket, I’m trying to sit down with him and play. Unfortunately, these occasions aren’t often enough as we are frequently out and about, have company or Millie is in my arms but if the opportunity is there, I’m trying to take it. I was today also pointing out just how ‘boring’ Millie is at the moment because she can’t do anything & just eats milk and how much he can do because he is a ‘big boy’ and that he gets to eat nice things like chocolate. I think a little of it sank in. 

Despite this, he is still lovely with her. I can already see the protective big brother side of him, even with them being so small. If she cries he will take her bunny to her or pop her dummy back in her mouth. Then he got most upset today when Stuart kissed him goodbye but didn’t kiss Millie as he went into work.

I was looking at a photo of them together the other day and I just get this feeling they are going to be good friends when they are older.

Callum says he loves Millie and at nursery last week when talking about what makes them happy he said Millie. I don’t quite believe him and am not sure where that came from but it was very sweet.

I am 4 Years Old

I am 4 Years Old!

I’m a big boy now

I am very helpful – I like to help Mummy do jobs around the house, like put the washing on, hang washing on the line and fill/empty the dishwasher. I also like to help Mummy with Millie getting her new nappy ready when Mummy is changing her or getting a muslin when Mummy has left it somewhere

I also like to make a lot of mess and spread this mess about all over the house

I now have a bike like Daddy. I still have stabilisers but I am learning and love riding it

I love my family and friends and tell them lots that I love them

I hate it when Mummy cries (when Baby Millie makes her booby hurt) and tell her that I love her and give her a cuddle

I have lots and lots of energy

I like to got outside to play, I like to go places and see people, I like shopping but particularly like eating out. In fact every time we go past a restaurant, cafe, supermarket I get hungry all of a sudden, but Mummy & Daddy keep telling me its a treat to eat out and costs money so we don’t go often

I am always hungry

I can now count to 13 on my own but sometime like to invent numbers like eleventeen. I can also recognise bigger numbers when I see them. I like to count and look for numbers a lot

At night I like to cuddle my doggy called Suzie and my teddy called…er….Teddy!

My favourite meal is probably Sausages and Chips

I like to say everything is my ‘favourite one’ even if I haven’t tried it or don’t know what it is – I also ‘love’ everything too

Since becoming 4, I now like cauliflower, red & orange pepper and mushrooms

I still wear a pull up at night, but hey, that’s ok

I like to go to sleep with the light on. My Auntie LaLa bought me a rocket lava lamp for my birthday so I go to sleep with this light on and Mummy & Daddy turn it off once I’m asleep.

I get up and make my own breakfast in the morning before Mummy and Daddy wake up. Though Mummy turns the toaster off now so I don’t burn the house down, despite bringing her toast in bed once!

I like to watch Dora the Explorer and would watch it non-stop if Mummy let me but she says I can only watch 2 episodes a day

The real reason I go downstairs when I get up is so I can sneak a few more extra episodes of Dora in without Mummy knowing how many I’m watching!

I can dress myself and clean my own teeth but sometimes I pretend I can’t. I’ve been doing this for a year or two but sometimes ‘forget’ and try to get Mummy or Daddy to do it

I like swimming. I’m very brave and jump in without any fear. I also prefer to swim with my face in the water. I can’t swim without arm bands as I’m still learning to kick my legs correctly but I’m getting there.

I love going to Nursery and go twice a week, on Thursday and Friday

I’m so big now that I can’t reach from my feet to my head with my hands

When I get bigger and I’m a girl, I’m going to help Mummy feed Millie with my boobies

I Am Six Weeks Old

I am now six weeks old!

I have been smiling for 3 weeks and smile at my family when they talk to me. I have also been known to smile at Mummy’s boob and the connector that holds my mobile attached to my cot!

I  like to stick out my tongue

I blow bubbles a lot (though not intentionally)

I made my Mummy sad when I started crying real tears

I make my Mummy very happy when I try to talk to her. At the moment it just comes out as “ohhhhh” and then gives me hiccups which I don’t like

I still sleep more than I am awake but I am much more interactive now when I’m awake and the periods I am awake are starting to get longer – but who doesn’t like to sleep all day?

I have lots of Cradle Cap all over the front of my head, forehead, eyebrows and on and behind my ears. I find it itchy so when I get cuddled I rub my head on people to make it stop itching (Mummy wants to know who invented such a silly word and challenges everyone who says they are not tempted to say a naughty word instead of cap)

My forehead appears to have grown quicker than my scalp/hair – I therefore now look bald at the front of my head. I also have a bald patch at the back.

My hair is getting fairer each day & Mummy suspects I’ll be blonde like my Daddy & Brother but swears she will dye it brown like hers & no one will know!

I have only had a few baths – I preferred the one in the sink to the ones in the big bath but I’m not a huge fan of this water thing!

I usually sleep for a 6-7 hour stretch at night which my Mummy said my brother didn’t do for several months – this makes me smile smugly at my big brother when Mummy isn’t looking

I can already swing my hips over when I see something I like – Mummy thinks I’ll be rolling before they know it. He he, watch out Callum’s toys, soon you’ll be mine!

Stepping Up to His New Role of Big Brother

It is natural for any mum to worry about how their first child(ren) will adapt to a new sibling. Its not just your life that changes, their life will change beyond all recognition, life wont only be just about them now there will be a new attention stealer in town! It was one of the reasons we wanted to wait until Callum was 4 before introducing a new family member. At 4 a sibling is less likely to get jealous and they can understand more, help and get involved.

I was still expecting some kind of rebellion, and I still am. I feel myself saying “no because of Millie” in relation to a number of different scenarios and so I feel its only a matter of time when Callum has enough of this noisy, dull infiltrator taking up so much of his Mummy’s time!

There was a time in the first week Callum was being whingey and clingy to Stuart and I was worried but he was feeling under the weather so I can put it down to that.

Mostly, so far, he has just taken it all in his stride and is adapting wonderfully. Not only is he accepting of his new little sister, he has taken on the ‘Big Boy’ mantle. He is becoming more and more independent, wanting to do little tasks on his own. He is cleaning his own teeth, feeding himself, often getting his own breakfast, being helpful to me around the house such as helping me with the dishwasher and fetching dirty washing for me. He is being a little star and his reward chart is rapidly filling up – we had best start thinking of a reward as it wont be long before he gets to a full sheet at this rate.

These are all things we were struggling with getting him to do up until really recently so it is a real relief that he is keen to please at the moment. I say at the moment as these things often go in phases and he occasionally drops back to being a monkey after a exceptionally good spell so I’m sure there will be a moment in the future when he is testing my patience again but right now, when I really need him to be, he is being the best Big Brother and Son I could ask for.

Daddy is The Man!

Its all about Daddy at the moment! Callum cries for Daddy when he isn’t there, asks regularly if Daddy is coming now? Is Daddy going to be there? Is Daddy home etc?

An over-hungry tantrum the other day concluded with a 10 minute continuous dialogue of “I want Daaaaddeeeeee”

When Daddy is around, he can’t get a minute’s piece. Callum is glued to him and wants to go wherever he goes and wont let me do anything…not even cuddle him

Not that I ‘mind’ as such in a jealous way! Of course, I would like the odd cuddle now and again but there are benefits – Daddy has to take him to the toilet, get him dressed, give him his breakfast, pick him up, etc. Although it can be inconvenient – it is often a lot easier if Callum would just let me do things occasionally, especially when Stuart is busy doing something else. Not to mention it must be quite exhausting for Stuart sometimes.

But I know how these things work and, after 3.5 years, I’ve learnt that it swings both ways (it I said not he! far too early for that!). One month it will be all about Daddy then the next month it swings back to me and I can do no wrong, am the only one that can kiss his knee better, put him to bed etc.

But then, since finding out I’m having a girl, the little girl I’ve always dreamed of, everyone keeps telling me that girls are “Daddies’ girls you know”. Looks like, if Callum keeps this current Daddy phase up, I may become redundant. So, a nice holiday somewhere hot sounds nice…who needs a Mummy anyway?

Still in Denial - 19 Weeks, 6 Days

The time is really starting to fly now, at last. However I’m still in an element of denial. Even with the baby now moving regularly – getting stronger but still not noticeable externally (i.e. Stuart can’t feel it) – I still don’t quite believe I’m pregnant. I guess more so now that I’ve finally got my energy back and I feel much more like me…apart from my inability to bend in the middle! Didn’t like that other body invader that brought with it the bouts of the blues…the sickness I could just about cope with but feeling down really isn’t me!

My bump is sprouting rapidly but I look in the mirror and don’t recognise myself. Sometimes my bump is hard and looks every bit the baby bump it is but other times (I guess when baby sits back a bit) it is soft again and I still look oddly fat – oddly as in I’m a weird shape for an overweight person with all the weight up front.

I was pleased though when someone took the plunge today and chanced saying “and I see another one is on he way”. Must have been looking more bumpy than a tubby odd ball!

Maybe after Thursday it will feel a bit more real! We have our 20 week scan. I’m a little nervous to tell you the truth – primarily, as always, about whether everything is ok but also because we hope to find out the sex. I don’t know why this makes me nervous.

Having just done my dowsing crystal to try to predict sex of the baby it started off saying boy to begin with with a gentle sway but then turned strongly to a girl. I guess we shall have to wait and see…

Callum is still being cute where the baby is concerned. Lots of “Hello Baby” and kisses and cuddles. He actually says “I want to cuddle the baby”. He has also started a cheeky way of trying to stretch out bedtime and get a repeat of his bedtime story. When calls of “again” aren’t successful he says “baby read it”. How can I refuse? It makes for a boring story, however, as you have to listen very very carefully to hear baby read it – I basically turn the pages in front of my bump without saying anything.

He he – cruel mummy!