Are a mum's school gate sobs a tool to make new friends?

Following my last post about Millie starting school, I'm starting to wonder if there's something wrong with me.

Overhearing the other mum's talking at school drop off yesterday they were discussing how they broke down at their last day of nursery and how emotional they are that their baby is starting school.

When I've mentioned to someone how, at 2 weeks after turning 4, Millie is too young to be starting school, they reply saying how tough it was to say goodbye to their little ones on their first day especially their first or others say especially their last and how they worried but they were fine and handled it better than their mummies. No, that's not it, I'm not worried about her and I always say she may be small but she is mighty! I wasn't sentimental about Callum starting, he was ready for it and there is no way I could put up with another morning arguing with Millie that she can't go to school yet she has to go to preschool like we've had regularly for the past 6 months. It is purely that, two weeks prior, she was 3 and that seems bloody young.

The only small waiver I've had was at a play date for Millie's class before they started. She appeared so much younger than her classmates, with her delayed speech and her small size and then at the end when she tried to say goodbye to someone she was blanked, even when I pointed it out to the girl in question she just looked at Millie blankly and went back to playing. At that point I was a little concerned but she is a tough cookie, there's no way she'll let anyone boss her about and she'll make damn sure they notice her and be her friend - I've seen it when she is around older kids.

It's just that I continue to look forward and don't like looking back.

Don't get me wrong, I have and I've felt melancholy about a lost friendship or what might have been if I took a different path but when it comes to my children I'm excited to see the person they are developing to be. I know who they are and their past but who will they become and how will this new chapter shape that?

 Am I the only one? Do I have ice where a heart should be or am I missing a trick?

See I have another theory. Do mums (I say only mums as I've never known a dad to get soppy over their child growing up) use it as a way to bond and build rapport with other mums. They've heard other mums before them say it, they think it is the 'normal' mum thing to do which makes an impression on them (like the power of suggestion) so when it is time for a new chapter in their dear babies life they follow suit and and then it becomes a great tool for bonding with the other new mums in the playground.

Maybe that's where I'm going wrong and find it so hard to meet other school mums. Again I say mums, however, I've no problem meeting other dads but they have usually spied a fellow dad in the playground and joined them for solidarity in numbers against the masses. Surrounded by emotional women when they just want to get in there drop Harry off and get on with their day and if they get chance to share a raised eyebrow with a fellow dad all the better. I'm generalising but they definitely seem less bothered by the clucking and playground politics than us women!

Would love to hear your thoughts - how were you when you said goodbye to nursery and dropped your baby at school?

Too cool for school

This week my youngest started school. Only two weeks earlier she turned 4 - it's madness. She is diddy anyway but seems so young and tiny compared to her classmates. However, she may be small but she is mighty! So when other mums are clutching at their hearts and fighting back the sobs as they say goodbye to their little ones at the school gates, I can't help thinking good luck to the school and do they know what they're in for? I know she'll be fine.

Millie went in for her first morning on Wednesday. Above is a photo of her looking all smart in her new uniform. Before we left she was covered in her breakfast.

The school is just a 15 minute scoot away so Millie scooted while I walked. Less than 5 minutes after we set off she lost control of her scooter and ended up with her white socks covered in mud!

She confidently skipped up to the reception door and then said "can I get my teddy out now?" and then I realised my error of not checking her school bag before we left home! Apparently on their first day of school every girl needs a tiara, an Ana hair piece, a pink power ranger, a necklace, a magnetic drawing pad and a muslin.

She was a little shy when she introduced herself to one of the staff who took her in to find her classroom but she was happy to go in with the other children without looking back.

Back home for me where I just about had enough time for a couple of tea then back a couple of hours later to collect her and meet with her teacher.

Apparently she took it all in her stride and confidently and has clearly already won over her teacher and teaching assistant who couldn't believe she can be a bit of a madam at home!

So first day (morning) at school was a success and was nice to know she was being looked after by an angel as we found a white feather as we left the school!

Half Term Adventures: Tuesday

Here we are, day two of half term and I don’t think I’ve counted another grey hair! Whoop!

The plan today was to bake bread and see The Lego Movie, with the added bonus of a cousin, Sofia, and Daddy joining us for the afternoon!

Sofia was expected about midday and the film was at 2.30pm. Sofia and Callum were all excited about the bread making when I decided to change the plan to see The Lego Movie so I had to try to get both activities in.

Therefore, after dropping Millie at nursery and Stuart at work, the first task was to make the dough (well actually, after the usual dishes, laundry and cat related chores…there are always chores to do first kids!).

Once more, I had to keep a lid on my inner-control-freak and remember ‘I was doing it for the kids!’ So Callum helped me measure out the ingredients and got his (clean) fingers stuck in to mixing – OK so there was a bit of “let me just see if it is all mixed” and “let me pull in the dry ingredients at the bottom” oh and “Ill start off the needing”…what? Neither of us got stressed. I count that as progress!

He helped need the dough a bit before he thankfully got bored. Then off we took it to the airing cupboard to prove.

That took us until 9.30…still another couple of hours or so until Sofia due, what next?

We played games (while I continued with the odd chore). We played Jenga (which I lost), then Walk the Plank (which I won ) and then I had to teach Callum about the difference between a good loser and a bad loser…

Soon it was lunchtime, ‘Fia arrived and then it was time to get back to the bread making!

They both loved it, treating the dough like play dough and making different shapes and…er…lumps of things. They got covered in flour, wrote their names in the flour and I may have started a flour fight. We each made one thing to put in the oven then the remaining dough I had intended keeping for myself to make another masterpiece *cough* but I relented and let them share it between them for more doughy fun.

After the bread had been baked there was just enough time for a quick taster before we had to head out to pick Stuart up and head to the cinema.

The movie was enjoyable enough – definitely only for those that share an affiliation with lego as the comedy moments are centred around the trials and tribulations of lego crafting. I thought they could’ve played more on those and had a few adult humour moments like they do in the Pixar animations but I found it enjoyable and Stuart had a couple of LOL (while I slunk down in my seat) moments. Callum, bless him, doesn’t get on too well with the glasses, or any glasses for that matter (we went to the 3D version) which I think is down to his little nose which doesn’t have much of a bridge to hold a pair of glasses. He kept taking them off which meant he didn’t get to appreciate the full experience and he seemed to struggle to retain interest for the last half hour but he says he really enjoyed it and that it was his favourite part of the day. Sofia also said she enjoyed it but I saw her fidgeting for the last 20 minutes too. At 5 and 7, I think it is still a long time to expect them to sit still and pay attention. I think what kept Callum’s attention was the inclusion of his favourite characters, Batman, Superman and ‘The Green Ninja’.

Overall, it has been another good day. I’m still surprised at just how upbeat I am after such a miserable winter (both my mood and the weather). Like they say ‘a change is as good as a rest’. That is proving so true this week!

Tomorrow it is the family outing (Stuart and Millie included) to London to check out the Natural History Museum which, despite me thinking of it before I saw Callum’s homework book, fits in nicely with Callum’s half term homework project!

The outlook is holey!

Holes! In everything! Holes in socks, holes in the knees of trousers, holes in shoes, holes in his book bag!

I don’t know about you, but I like to send my children to school looking fairly decent! Of course, Callum is a boy (in case you hadn’t noticed) and boys will be boys. Climbing, scuffing, skimming across the playground. Many girls too, I imagine!

What started off on the first day of school as stark white shirt tucked in, neatly pressed collar out over slightly oversized school jumper, smart black shoes to finish it off (take a look at the picture) has turned into an off-white shirt with pen and food stains on, tatty trousers with holes in all the knees (3 out of 5 pairs – the 2 without were bought 2 weeks ago, then 2 pairs bought just before Christmas and the other 1 in September – one pair from September has been thrown away), shoes that now sport a sunroof to let the rain in and his bag has taken constant battering from being dragged along the floor!

Suspecting Callum might grow out of school clothes pretty quick, I didn’t splash out on anything expensive, I went to Asda! However, he hasn’t grown out of them size wise just worn through them. I, at least, thought the book bag would last until the end of the school year!

So maybe I should spend a bit more for quality and the clothes might last longer…is this true? If I apply this logic to the shoes we bought, we thought we’d invest in a decent pair of Clarks for his first pair of school shoes in the hope they’d last. Yet they look like they have been handed down through the generations. I certainly can’t afford to spend £45 on a pair of school shoes every 6 months!!! I desperately need work shoes myself but haven’t bought any because I can’t be spending that much on a pair of shoes but at least I’d know I was at least paying for material! In fact, I think my last pair of M&S shoes cost £25 – my last pair of shoes were £6!!

Is it all boys? Is it all children? How long do your children’s school clothes last? Do you splash out or buy bulk of cheap?

There’s Only One Callum Bun

Callum

My little big boy is really blossoming into a lovely person. He has slotted into school life with no effort at all. I’d heard of other children struggling with the first term and their behaviour deteriorating and if Callum had gone to school in September 2012 I’m pretty sure he would’ve been the same but being the oldest in his year at the start of September 2013, he was so ready. Stuart and I went to a parent’s evening before Christmas and the teacher was happy with where he was at. His learning progress wasn’t anything to wow about (every parent wants to hear their child is a genius and the top of the class) but he was where his teacher expected him to be…for a boy! One thing I was proud of was his behaviour. He would sit and listen and would stick with something he was asked to do until he was finished. The other thing was that he had lots of friends. That was enough for us to squash any concerns we may have had!

I’ve recently started to notice a real improvement in his reading. He brings home a couple of books a week from school and carefully sounds out the words but is needing less and less help. Likewise, his writing is getting better and less HUGE. When he sees his homework book, he always wants to write something in it. We rarely follow the requested homework (bad mummy) as it often asks for Callum to draw a picture of what he has done and Callum, although loves putting pencil to paper as if to draw, is no artist! He rarely draws a recogniseable picture and prefers to scribble anything and tell you its a picture of something. Instead, we practice writing and counting and maths. We do it during the course of the day as a natural thing but don’t always document it in his book as by the time I get round to writing in it, I’ve forgotten what it was we’ve done. I’m pleased that his school doesn’t push the homework too much and rather just encourages you to complete it at this stage and the tasks are set more as ideas – well that’s my interpretation!

When I think about Callum, more than his educational progress, I think about his character, loving spirit and what a wonderful big brother he is.

For example, he baked cakes at his after school club the other week and was allowed to take 2 cakes home early (before decorating as they had more than they needed) so he tells me one is for him and the other is for Millie. A couple of days later, he brings home three decorated cakes who he announces are for him, Millie and Daddy. He doesn’t expect to eat them all himself and I don’t prompt him, he wants to share with others. If he has a banana and Millie wants some, he’ll often share it with her.

Of course, he will often say he is ‘helping’ Millie with her toys as an excuse to play with them himself and will hog the ‘best toys’ regardless of who they belong to, to himself but he does interact with her and play with her. But Millie will always want whatever Callum is playing with.

It always amazes me how someone is brought into their life and they are not told to love this new intrusion but somehow they do and it is clearly evident how much Callum loves Millie. When I pick Callum and Millie up from nursery (his after school club is attached to the nursery), I pick up Millie first then Callum. It isn’t me he runs to hug hello, it is Millie! He genuinely cares for her.

In many ways, he is a typical little boy – he whinges, as I said in Millie’s post, he is a wimp when he bumps himself (tough love mother!), he tries to get out of washing his face and cleaning his teeth, he drags everything out to take so much longer than necessary, especially when you are in a hurry. He has already developed the teenager trait of not wanting to get out of bed on a school day and has uttered the words “I hate you” (to which I unhelpfully laughed!). He loves Superheroes and PowerRangers and spends far too much time on the iPad!

These posts of Callum and Millie aren’t meant as boasts of ‘look how wonderful my child is’ but as parents is it so wrong to be proud of your child and look for their good traits. I’m sure we tell them off and moan about them enough too so it is good to praise them and ourselves when what they are doing is right, surely?

It is easy to get caught up in the bad moments sometimes, and only see them but if you take a step back and look at the overall picture, I can’t help but be proud of how he is turning out and hope that it is as a result of Stuart and my parenting…somewhere!

Then I look forward to the years ahead – he is going to pay me back when he gets to his teenage years isn’t he!?

You may have noticed that I’m last in line for cuddles (I do get lots) and that I may not be the one he wants to share his cakes with but when asked “Daddy or chips?” he chose chips!

Callum in January VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

Mojo, Where’d You GoGo?

With my return to work, I’ve kind of lost my blogging mojo.

It’s been a hectic and often stressful couple of months which feels like it is finally starting to settle down a bit now. However, after a morning of getting the kids out of the house on time and off to nursery/breakfast club, a full day at work often involving a 45min to 1.5 hour drive, then flying home to pick kids up, feed cats (and often kids), do the usual chores and then get kids to bed, the last thing I want to do is give away any more of myself.

I’m even a lot quieter on social media *thud* – I know, me -the prolific twitterer – did just say that!

I’m just not ‘feeling’ it. I don’t have the mind power to make casual chitter chatter. I loiter for a bit feeling like I’m looking in through the window at a party in full swing while I hover unsure outside in the cold. So then I often just close the laptop, pick up Wordhero on the phone and switch off to the outside world.

I do miss it though. I hope it will come back again soon.

Anyway, thought I’d provide a brief update on the family.

It feels like we have had a good couple of months of pass the bug, each having our share of colds, viruses etc. I’ve currently lost my voice (which is probably a relief to those in the ‘real’ world) and Millie has a lingering cough.

I’ll start with me and work. I feel like I’ve made a good impression and am proving my worth. Of course, there are insecurities occasionally, but I think that is natural especially with a new job and I think it is healthy to feel a little insecure otherwise you get cocky. I’ve received lots of good feedback from my line managers and other trainers which feels good. The project I’m working on is a bit chaotic, disorganised and, up until recently, a bit of a mess but think it hit a wall last week and positive steps are being made to turn the project around so I’m optimistic. It is all providing good experience and looks like my contract will probably continue past the end of March.

Millie is as cute as ever! Surprisingly, still not walking. After being so sure on her feet from quite early on, I really expected her to be running about by now. However, the bum shuffle has developed into a kind of monkey crawl with one knee crawling, one leg reaching forward like a bum shuffle and her arms propelling her forward.

She appears to say a few words but nothing clear enough to say for definite. I think the ones she can say are “no” while wagging her finger (similar to Callum’s first word of “don’t” while wagging his finger), Mumma, Dadda and Cat. She points at everything and knows how to get what she wants!

She generally sleeps well again now. There was a period over the summer where it was getting really tough and I thought she would never go back to being a good sleeper. She still occasionally wakes in the night but very quickly goes back off with the dummy being replaced and it definitely isn’t every night.

We’ve had Callum’s first parents….sorry Family Evening as it is now called.

Lots of good comments from his teacher about him being where she expects him to be reading and with making ‘marks’. He is very good at doing what he is told, sitting down and listening and continuing with a task until he has finished. He also has lots of friends which of course is nice to hear.

Taking him to the breakfast club and afterschool club at Millie’s nursery can often be cause for contention. He regularly says he doesn’t like Mini Beasts as the clubs are called (though he calls it Millie Beasts he he) and says he doesn’t want to go there despite him enjoying it when he is there. I think it is probably seeing his friends’ parents taking them to school and picking them up and he wanting us to do the same which pulls at the guilt strings a little.

Since his grommets being fitted and his adenoids were removed, his speech has come on leaps and bounds and his hearing is excellent now. His teacher said he does so well at school that she forgot he even had it done. He still misses off a  letter at the end of a word occasionally but he really listens if we correct him and tries to say words correctly.

With work, school, nursery etc there have been a lot of changes over the last few months so overall I think we are doing pretty well.

Now to be patient and await the return of my blogging mojo.

Making it Work Part 2

I’ve just finished week 4 of the ‘New Job’ and things are ok! Are they getting easier? Hmmmm…! Am I adapting to a new hectic life? Maybe, who knows.

If you read my last post after week 2 of returning to working life, it may surprise you to hear that things got worse!

Millie’s teething didn’t ease up and I was called to collect her on a Friday afternoon as she had “had a loose nappy , had been sick and now she had a temperature and wasn’t eating” (while I was just short of 30 miles away!), I was due to do a floorwalking exercise (where you support users in the field when rolling out a new technology system or similar) the following week, had no idea where I was due to be sent as had no access to email and despite numerous requests no one had called me (though it wouldn’t have mattered because no communication had gone out!).

So off I go to collect Millie and it turns out the sick was reflux, Millie was much chirpier after another nap and it was highly likely all her symptoms were down to teething!

I feel like a fraud having gone to collect my child and enter a weekend being clueless to where I would have to go the next week.

Then Sunday night comes….yet Sunday night sleep doesn’t! Millie screams….properly screams….the whole night, aside from 2.5 hours between 3.30am and 6am! I’m a mess! What’s wrong with her? Is she really poorly? (yet the waterfall of dribble and now smiling little girl tells me she isn’t). I’ve had very little sleep so am extra emotional and have no idea what I’m supposed to do. Do I take her to nursery and win bad mum of the year award? Do I take her to the Dr to be told she is teething and win the bad new employee of the year award? WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? I call NHS Direct! I barely hold it together but because she has just dropped of fto sleep and I am unwilling to wake her they advise me to take her to the dr.

Despite getting through at precisely 7.59am (the lines open at 8am) the first appointment available is 11am so I text work….then when I’ve no answer I phone.

Come 11am I take her to the Dr and she utterly charms them (the Doctor and the Student Doctor). She is fine! She is teething! Back to nursery she goes and I get a phonecall…it’s work…“are you on your way to Bridport?” Over the weekend I’d heard rumour I may be in Blandford. Blandford is 22 miles away, Bridport is 47.5 miles away. I clarify whether they mean Bridport or Blandford….no it’s definitely Bridport. Oh joys…off I go to Bridport! I arrive and on day one of the rollout, the newbie who has only just learnt a few bits of the system, and am thrown into the Lion’s Den of an MIU (Minor Injury Unit) on day one of rollout on my own! Another IT guy is due to arrive at 1.30pm (about when I arrive incidentally) but doesn’t turn up until 3.30pm and quite frankly I’m a complete fish out of water and do the best I can to help them through! I leave them at 4.30pm to fly home to collect the kids arriving to pick them up dead on time of 6.15pm!

Day 2 of this week and I’m due in Weymouth (another fair distance from home). Stuart and I drop the kids off at nursery and Callum has a melt down! He is hysterical and doesn’t want to be left. Eventually we just have to leave him while upset.

The stress clearly takes it out of both Stuart and I and cross words and tears are exchanged! Stressed? ME STRESSED? WHAT DO YOU MEAN STRESSED?!?!?!?!?!?!?

I know Stuart has his own work stress but quite frankly, and selfishly, it’s my turn to be stressed!

The week continues with me flying to all ends of Dorset but thankfully the work gets easier (well I get more confident and am supported by people who actually know what they are doing) until I get a text message from the school on Wednesday informing me of what classes will be open on Thursday (Callum’s not being one of them). Hey? What? Why isn’t the school opening? When I pick Callum up in the evening I find a note in his school bag telling me “further to our letter of the 10th of October, due to strike action, the following classes will be closed” (or words to that effect). Letter of the 10th? What bloody letter of the 10th? I’ve obsessively checked his school bag every night and there has been absolutely no bloody letter! An emergency call to my Mum means Callum can stay home with my Mum on Thursday. Phew! Can’t thank her enough!

Then Friday afternoon brings another call from the Nursery saying Millie has a temperature again!

A more cynical person may suggest that the nursery staff may just want to leave early on Fridays?? But no, I suggest they put her down for another nap and let me know how she is doing when she wakes while the nurse next to me says he wouldn’t consider a temperature of 37.8 a high temperature. They call me back half hour later and sure enough her temperature has dropped and I’m pretty much suspecting those pesky teeth are still giving her a hard time.

I leave just 10 minutes before I’m expected to leave and make the horrid,  traffic laden journey, which is supposed to take an hour but takes and hour and 25 minutes, home. Millie is fine! Teething but fine!

This week has been back to observing courses, staying close to home and the kids have been well and doing what they are supposed to be doing with little or no complaint!

However…..it doesn’t stop there…Stuart has come down with pharyngitus and has been bed-ridden the whole week.

But, quite frankly, a grown man on his death bed sleeping all day in bed is a hell of a lot easier than misbehaving kids, nasty teeth, useless communicating schools, long commutes and unsupportive husbands!

Work has been local and I’ve even had a couple of compliments. Despite everyone else’s usual project stress that all but me seems surprised about (it’s an IT system roll out what do they expect?) I think I’m actually holding my own.

You know…I might just make the full 6 month contract!

Making it Work!

I’ve been back working full time now for 2 weeks (well 9 days as I started on a Tuesday).

I’m not sure what I expected but it is bloody hard work. Not the work itself but everything else!

Working full time while having children is not a new thing for me, I went to work full time when Callum was 18 months but, with 2 children at different stages in life provides a whole new set of challenges!

When I went back to work after Callum, I started on a Wednesday, Callum was sick on the Thursday, I had a holiday booked on the Friday, to go to Scotland with a fab group of girls where I came down with Callum’s bug, had to force my poorly self into work on the Monday despite feeling rotten as I daren’t take any more days off just after starting a new job. However, thankfully, after the false start the rest of the working life went pretty smoothly.

This time, in the space of these first 2 weeks in the job we’ve had an incident where the nursery didn’t collect Callum and another child after school to take them to After School Club (there fault, not ours!), we’ve forgotten to pay for school dinners (so suddenly had to provide packed lunch for the week after and Stuart was snapped at with ‘we’re a school not a bank’ when he tried to pay for school dinner until the end of term with a a debit card over the phone), Callum had to be collected from school by Stuart after falling asleep in class and having a temperature, teething Millie waking me up through the night and being grumpy, I had to collect Millie from nursery today for having a temp, loose nappy and being sick which turned out to just be an episode of teething with a teething nappy and reflux (which she gets when teething)! The whole time I’ve been suffering from a delightful sore throat bug which has taken me 3 weeks to recover from! Stuart has been told off for not completing a ‘school photo consent form’ which we definitely never received and Callum didn’t get to have in the end anyway due to being poorly!

We (lets say ‘we’ to be diplomatic) are juggling remembering to make nursery payments and booking in the sessions we need in advance of the next week (while having no idea where work will be sending me next), remembering school dinner payments, getting teacher training days thrown upon us out of the blue, trying to think ahead to what the hell we are going do do with Callum during school half term, Callum saying he doesn’t like breakfast club/after-school club. The nurse is trying to book Millie in for her 13 month jabs when the only week we can do is the week she can’t do! I’m finding out daily where I’m being sent the next day and have absolutely no idea where I’m going to be next week so haven’t a clue what additional childcare to arrange, if any.

I’m dropping balls left, right and centre and my head is swimming!

I get home and once I’ve sorted the dishes, the laundry (not helped by Callum destroying his uniform on a daily basis), fed the kids some more, cleared out the cats’ litter tray and fed said cats, put kids to bed, cooked dinner, danced the tango while knitting a scarf, I collapse onto the sofa for an hour before crawling into bed to be woken up hourly by Millie or to get insomnia at 4am or for Millie to start her day at 5.30am!

Quite frankly, right now, I don’t know which way is up!

I love working, I want to work, I enjoy that time where I am Debbie! Not mummy, not wife, but Debbie the IT Trainer! I’ve worked hard to get where I am and I love what I do. But, quite frankly, I sure as hell miss those days where I could just walk out the door, go to work and come home without having an anxiety attack every time I see a missed call on my phone and wondering who is ill or what have I forgotten to do this time! It’s not even as if I get to recover at the weekends! Please tell me life gets easier!

One thing is for sure, I make a crap Juggler!

School for Thought

Tomorrow Callum starts school! Big boy at 5 starts school.

HOORAH!

Sorry, I know I’m meant to go all gushy about my little boy going off to Big School all on his own blah blah blah.  I don’t meant to trample on anyone’s feelings and make out that parents shouldn’t gush but just I’ve no need as he is sooooooo ready! And quite frankly so am I!

They can feed his thirst for knowledge much better than I ever can and then he gets to run off all that crazy energy with his new friends.

I’ve done the worry. I did that much earlier in the year when his hearing was still poor and I hadn’t met his teacher or been to the school since it had been redeveloped.

Since Callum had his grommets fitted & adenoids removed his hearing and speech has improved so much and in line with that, so has his confidence. I am confident he’ll be fine. We’ve talked so much about it, what’s going to happen, what he’ll do. He is fine with it which means so am I.

His teacher came for a home visit and she is lovely and set my mind at rest that he’ll be fine. He is the (yes ‘the’) oldest in his year and therefore his class and remembering what Callum was like at 4, he has a bit of an advantage over some of the younger more nervous little ones. This time last year, he would have been a completely different boy.

The school is now lovely. The changes they have made to it are amazing and it is such a nice space to learn. I have no concerns there any more.

I’m starting a new job in a week and a half (that’s the next post) so he’ll be going to breakfast club at the school and after school club until I finish work. It will be long days 5 days a week so tiring for him and I do feel a little bad about that but he has done it before, I’ve worked full time before, so I know he’ll be fine. But that’s one thing I’m not looking forward to – the grumpy teenager act which I’ve been warned about in the first term! However, I’ve talked to him about it and he is taking it all in his stride. I think he is happy that he’ll be near Millie – he is getting quite protective over her bless him. Says he is going to look after her.

Tomorrow is his first half day and he’ll continue with half days for the rest of this week then start full time on Monday.

He is so excited it is infectious. So, we are ready! Bring on this next chapter! Bring on the school years!

Tomorrow I’ll proudly update this post with him in his school uniform, completely with oversized jumper.

Here he is! And I can confirm the first week has been a success!

Too Cool for School!

It has come to that time when Stuart and I need to make what feels like to be an incredibly important decision with lots of responsibility – which school we would like to send Callum to.

I say we make the important decision but one thing we have come to realise is that we don’t actually have much say! I didn’t realise that you only get one school per catchment and as it will be another high intake year this year, most of the schools (the good ones anyway) are oversubscribed and rarely take outside their catchment area.

Typically, our catchment area is for the school that is ‘under review’. It was one of the reasons I was trying to avoid this area when house hunting but I thought there would be other options.

So I’ve been through all sorts of emotions and turned into the dreaded neurotic parent worrying about my poor wee boy and how will he cope in the big bad world of school!! I’ve stropped and moaned and ranted, much to the suffering of the poor people of Twitter, only to realise that our catchment school is probably the most sensible school for Callum to go to!

The school was the first one we went to visit and we were actually quite impressed with their attitudes to developing certain skills. They have student councils, playground mediators to work through playground altercations and Assistant Secretary to the Head. They were undergoing a lot of work to expand and modernise the work so they were quite cluttered and felt a bit manic but that was about to change. The new school design was lovely and the new classrooms lovely and airy. The developments were going to be an amazing change so I had to look past that.

In addition, have many have said to us, schools under review often have to work harder than those that have been awarded outstanding or good status as they are being closely watched by Ofsted. I’ve been told of many stories where a school was under review one year and went on to be outstanding the next & one of the best schools in the area so I know this can change & am not too hung up on its Ofsted grading.

My concerns were two-fold. One silly one and one very serious one. The silly one was regarding a muddy play area the children spend quite a lot of time in. The teacher said they were going to be keeping an element of the muddy area as the children really learnt from it and enjoyed it. I am normally for a bit of messy play but my fear is for the washing and replacement of uniform!

The second worry was about Callum and whether his personality and character would fit in at the school. Callum, like many children, can be quite shy at first but will overcome his shyness to an extent but still gets very intimidated by big groups. It is something that has been picked up at nursery and they have placed him into a small cluster group to work on giving him confidence. I worry that Callum will be lost in this school and would either be bullied or led into trouble. A lady that teaches at the school who I met sociably said lots of positive things about the school but said it was possible this could happen with Callum at the school. 

However, the nursery will write a transfer note about Callum including a note from the lady that has been working with him in his cluster group. The school also go to the nursery to see the children that will be going there. If I am still worried then I can speak to the school myself. What’s more, my fears could be unfounded and he could get on brilliantly. Only time will tell of course.

We do have a preferred school which we are currently trying to decide whether to put first or second. We are about 300 yards outside its catchment area but the school is 2 miles away so if they do take children outside their catchment area, we are highly unlikely to be granted a place. If it was closer, I would be putting it first without a doubt and 2 miles away in the right direction wouldn’t be a problem but it is likely to be in the opposite direction to where I may work in the future. I would have to go away from work to drop Callum off and then back the other way again. That said, I have done this before when Callum was at nursery full time in Godalming and I worked full time so it is still achievable. The school has an after-school club on the land, right next door to the school too.

But the catchment school is a very close 5-10 minute walk across the park behind our house.

Like I say, it is probably all a waste of time anyway as there is only one school we will get regardless of choice, and that is the catchment school. At least, through all my strops and panics, I’ve worked it through in my head now and will accept that decision when it comes.