BLW: Master of the Spoon

It has been a while and, as I was observing Millie eating at the weekend, I thought it was time for an update on BLW progress. Millie is 15.5 months now.

I was observing Millie eat as I had noticed that her spoon control had not only improved significantly in the last couple of months but she can now correct a spoon if not in a good feeding/handling position and can recognise when it has food on he underneath. She will usually try hard to use her spoon in the first instance and will only resort to using her fingers after several failed attempts. The spoon is still her preferred utensil as forks and knives are more for bashing and playing with. Haha, how does that sound? I let my child play with knives!

Actually, on that topic, I kind of do. Well, I’m not so strict about the ‘no licking the knife’ rule that most people have. I will teach her what is a sharp knife and it will be some time before I let her use a sharp knife. It is impossible for her to cut herself on the usual dinner knives. I wonder whether this rule came about in days where it was all sharp knives cutting through hunks of meat? I know it isn’t polite table manners but she’ll learn those in time as she develops in her feeding/eating skills like Callum has learnt his table manners. In fact, shhhh don’t tell anyone, but sometimes I lick the knife too! I know, shocking!

I’m much more relaxed about her eating what she instinctively chooses from the plates I’m offering rather than pushing certain foods on her and stressing. With Callum, shortly after he started nursery we started to mistrust his instincts and worried about how little vegetables he was getting but much of that was down to the repetitive and not particularly nutritional meals he was given at nursery. And, as has been said of children’s ‘natural’ eating habits, when left to their own choices, foods go in and out of favour quite frequently.  You’ve just got to keep offering them – especially while they are still quite young. Also, doing so positively so as not to draw attention to some foods as being ‘good’ or ‘bad’.

When we first started weaning Millie, peppers and cherry tomatoes were her favourite. She would also love chomping on a roasted carrot. Over time, she has discarded (quite literally, on the floor) these previous favourites and peas and sweetcorn became her preferred choice of vegetable. Then, at the weekend, when faced with a plate containing cabbage, peas and carrots, it was the peas she was spitting out and the carrot she picked up and happily munched through. She has often turned her nose up at mashed potato but couldn’t get enough of it on Sunday.

Another firm favourite was Weetabix but nursery have said she is no longer so keen – however, that’s understandable if she has it day in, day out. Although, what I did find funny was how the manager came up to me all proud and said

"I’ve found a way to get her to eat her breakfast…letting her feed herself!”

“Exactly!” I said, “That is because we followed the BLW approach when we weaned her, she has been feeding herself from the start!”

I had explained this to her key worker when she started and emphasised it on a couple of occasions but the manager is not her keyworker and she covers in the baby room when they haven’t enough staff or to cover shift changes.

At least this nursery provide a varied and nutritional menu – I’m often quite jealous of the meals they have!

Strangely, Millie definitely seems slower with her spoon control than Callum was but she probably has a much wider variety of flavours.

Tits Up!

I wasn’t going to blog about this but I think I feel passionately enough about it for it to pull me out of my blogging hole.

We all know (if you don’t, you bloody should so have words with yourself!) that we shouldn’t listen to anyone else who thinks they know what’s best for our children and feel it necessary to bully you into feeling guilty about something or other so I’m going to take a different approach and just blurt out my experience. You’ll probable be able to work out how I feel about the vouchers for breastfeeding scheme!

When pregnant with Callum, I originally wasn’t going to breastfeed. To me the idea felt so alien. The though of a baby sucking on your nipple just *shudder*. I had seen my friends struggle with it in different ways and it did nothing to appeal to me. Yes, I knew that breast was best but formula hadn’t killed me either. I was always a very healthy child (and pretty healthy adult), I wasn’t an overweight child or fit any of the other ‘risks of formula feeding’ threats they threw at you so formula was going to be fine for my child too.

Then Stuart found out and he really didn’t understand my decision. In his eyes, why wouldn’t you breastfeed? It was free….it would provide our child with invaluable antibodies and other health benefits. If he could do it, he would, no question. In the end I agreed I would try it for a day and take it from there.

I wrote on my birth plan that I would try breastfeeding but would rebel against anyone who pushed me!

Callum arrived a little early (3.5 weeks) - I tried to breastfeed but was explained that because he was early he may struggle to suckle at first. This was true, he did and I spent much of the 4 days I spent in hospital trying to get him to breastfeed, distraught that he wouldn’t latch, learning what it felt like to be a milking cow when shown how to use the hospitals electronic breast pump to express the milk out. Not helped by the baby blues hitting during that week and no one warning me.

The hospital midwives respected my birth plan and didn’t push me…in fact, I felt I could have had a bit more encouragement (no pleasing some people eh?).

Finally, on my last day, I managed to successfully feed Callum but only on one side and expressing the other.

When I left, I continued to breastfeed on the left and express on the right. I’d heard of support groups but I didn’t have the confidence to go to them. Because I’d heard of people’s negative reactions to breastfeeding in public, I had no confidence in doing so and would hide in toilets when out, especially in restaurants. Eventually I’d try to make the feed out a bottle of expressed milk and then express when I got in. By expressing every other feed, I wasn’t getting the full benefits of the breastfeeding experience as I was still washing and sterilising the bottles. At night, I had to feed off my left breast and then put my sleepy baby back to sleep which I desperately wanted to do too but instead had to stay up and express.

I quickly found out, breastfeeding hurt! And not because there was anything wrong with my latch. In those early days, while your nipples get used to this strange vacuum like suction a dozen or more times a day, you will experience a pain like hot needles shooting down your nipple that makes your toes curl. Your fight or flight kicks in and it takes all your power not to rip the baby from your nipple. Your poor week nipple may get sore (and yes this may be from poor latch too). I went through the pain of sore nipples and quite quickly lansinoh became my saviour.

Other things I wasn’t told about breastfeeding was that they cluster feed in the evenings. They have growth spurts where they would literally want to stay on your boob all evening! This was normal! Go with it!

I lasted about 4 weeks with a slow wean taking it to 6 weeks.

In the time between Callum and Millie I’d learnt a lot more from friends about what was ‘normal’ when breastfeeding. So, by the time I was pregnant with Millie I’d decided I wanted to try again and I really wanted to try to breastfeed for longer than 6 weeks. I would go to support groups, I would seek help if I needed it and I would try my hardest to get my baby to feed of both breasts.

I’d hoped for one of those babies that came out knowing exactly what to do, latching on and away we would go but Millie still needed to learn how to latch on and so did I.

Early on, the midwives and health visitor were very supportive, helpful and not at all pushy. They put me in touch with the breastfeeding counsellor at the hospital who came to see me and set me up with an electronic pump for a few weeks (they were only permitted to lend it out for a while) along with little bottles for collecting the milk and a syringe.  She gave me lots of tips and was just lovely.

I had heard about nipple shields and had bought some in preparation! The BF Counsellor explained the benefits and risks and agreed it was worth me trying. She showed me how to use them and recommended, after a while, breaking the seal and removing it to encourage Millie to feed straight from the nipple. Thanks to these incredible inventions I managed to get Millie to feed (after quite a bit of work) off both sides. After a couple of weeks of using them I ditched the nipple shields.

My left nipple got a little sore again but quickly recovered but my right? Oh My God!!!! I had an open sore that shocked and scared me. It also got infected. Yet I tried to feed through it. The night times were the hardest and many a time Stuart would wake up to me in bits because I was in incredible pain but feeling helpless with what he could do for me. The nipple shields made a return but eventually they were starting to rub and make the pain worse.

I went to a Bossom Buddies group at the local children’s centre and had my latch checked and confirmed it was fine. Still I had pain due to the open sore on my nipple. I went for a few weeks but a number of the mums that went regularly were from the same antenatal group (being second timers in a new area, I didn’t have the support of an NCT group like the first time) so everyone seemed to know each other and their babies were about the same age. It made it intimidating to try to break into that group. No one shared their stories as to why they were there so you saw happy successfully feeding mums feeding their babies so I didn’t feel I really fit in and stopped going. The breastfeeding counsellor was nice and helpful though and I was able to borrow (for free!!!) an electronic breast pump for a while so I would still say it was worth going. I probably should’ve looked for other local groups.

I was recommended Jellnet and the BF counsellor agreed it was worth trying to encourage healing. I was given fungal cream to try to remove the infection. I continued to feed but the healing process was very very slow.

At 6 weeks, I acknowledged my incredible achievement at managing 6 weeks and beating my target, as well as succeeding in getting Millie to feed off both sides, but decided I couldn’t take the pain any more and I would start weaning to formula. However, after a week of one bottle of formula and the rest still breastfeeding I noticed my nipple started to finally heal…so I continued with this routine!

Then Millie started refusing the bottle! Once more I was breaking down in floods in the middle of the night as she refused to feed. After a very stressful weekend away, I decided that as my nipple had healed I would return to fully breastfeeding. By this time, I’d made it to 8 weeks. She had a few nights of waking up more frequently but then seemed to settle again.

Because of all the ups and downs of feeding, within the next couple of weeks I decided to wean to bottle again and the intention was to bottle feed during the day and breastfeed at night but she soon went back to refusing the breast altogether. The slow wean had turned into a flat refusal.

I know I gave it a bloody good shot at breastfeeding with Millie. I achieved so much and managed over 11 weeks. I’m proud of this. Yet I still look back and beat myself up as tears come to my eyes that I gave up.

“I shouldn’t have swapped the feed, I should have continued through the pain. “

No one makes me feel guilty but me. I can step back and I know I made the right decisions for us throughout that time. I know I couldn’t have continued in the amount of pain I was in without something having to give. Before Millie, I would have told anyone else that they should no way feel guilty for making such a huge effort and I would tell them I am sure I wouldn’t have managed so long if it was me in that pain. Stuart no way blames me and I  know he found it hard dealing with the pain I was in. He was shocked to discover the first time with Callum, how much it hurt and when he made his “why wouldn’t you?” argument he was unaware of how tough it could be. I can think logically about the whole situation but the day I started breastfeeding some magic switch was put in my brain that meant when I stopped I was programmed to feel guilty about it.

Despite being told it shouldn’t make a difference as it’s ‘breast’ feeding not ‘nipple’ feeding but I do suspect the fact I had inverted nipples were a contributor to the pain I felt and the sores I got. Even if the baby is latched onto the breast the nipple is still sucked out.

So…do I think vouchers would’ve changed my actions? No I don’t! Do I think other mothers should be made to feel guilty for not breastfeeding for 6 months or choosing not to breastfeed at all?  No I bloody do not! And for those that really want to but can’t for a million and one different reasons…if this makes me mad, how does it make those poor women feel?

If I was to have another child (which I’m definitely not going to) would I breastfeed again? No, I don’t think I would but I don’t regret it with Callum and Millie. I wouldn’t change that!

Just my experience and my opinion. Please don’t let my experience put you off. If you want to breastfeed or experience trouble breastfeeding yourself, I can’t recommend enough reaching out for support- whether that be groups or health visitors or breastfeeding counsellors. I’ve known friends who have gone through similar pain but gone on to happily and pain free feed for over 6 months. I’ve also known loads of people that were lucky in that they breastfed and from day one didn’t experience any discomfort at all. We are all different and everyone’s experience is their own.

BLW: More Mess But Less Stressed

Thought, as some time had past since my last BLW post, I’d provide an update, especially since Millie has turned one.

Like anything there are highs and lows to to Baby-Led Weaning. The low being the purposefully throwing food on the floor…timed perfectly with the learning to talk so the throwing of food on the floor becomes a game so Millie can wag her finger and say “No!”.

But it also serves as a reminder to not overload her plate. Millie will only start throwing food on the floor if there is too much choice or if it is something she doesn’t care for. If she starts throwing food on the floor, the easiest thing to do is to take it all away and just offer her one thing at a time. She’ll either discard it or eat it but overall will eat a lot more than if she had a full plate to look at.

The throwing on floor thing did start to get me down but I took a look down memory lane and saw I was getting frustrated at just the same thing when Callum was the same age so decided to ride with it instead of fighting it.

Millie has been slower than Callum to grasp the spoon and feed herself but she is getting there now. Her first instinct is to try to use a spoon and only resorting to fingers if she struggles or she’ll grunt and hand me the spoon to load it for her.

In terms of what she eats, it changes daily. The favourites at the beginning are now discarded as new and more interesting foods have come along. No more are the cherry tomatoes, red peppers or roasted carrot but butternut squash, peas and sweetcorn? More of them please Mummy!

I’m definitely more relaxed than I was with Callum about what Millie chooses to eat as I remember, by now, I was definitely getting more frustrated with what Callum ate (or didn’t eat as was more likely the case). I’ve learnt my lessons and, with Callum having just this evening scoffed a roast dinner of roast belly pork, roast potato, sweet potato, parsnips and carrots, brussel sprouts (Yes! a kid that likes and eats brussel sprouts!) and roast butternut squash mash without a whine or murmur, I think that lesson is let them be, keep offering and they’ll discover the new flavours in time.

I know personally, the more you fight them the bigger the wall of rebellion will climb, as that is what I was like as a fussy eating child and what I’m still like now if someone tries to false me to eat something I really don’t want. Instead, encourage them to try but if they don’t like it, that’s fine, they may do eventually, especially if they see you enjoying whatever food it is.

Millie likes different things to what Callum liked and is less a fan of meat but will eat it and eats lots of other food too. Nursery love her because she will eat pretty much whatever is served up to her.

Both children have always loved their fruit and it has been more of a challenge to stop them eating too much fruit!

I’m also a lot more relaxed with Millie during times when she goes off her food – due to teething, illness etc. I know she’ll be fine, I know that the next week she’ll eat twice as much as she ate before she stopped eating, I know it’s normal. With Callum, I couldn’t help but worry a little, as I think it’s human nature to worry whether our little ones are eating enough, we want them to thrive! But, like with the food wars, I’ve learnt that she wont starve herself and that she’ll start eating again when she is ready.

Right! Best go clean the dinner off the ceiling again! That girl can flick!

Feeding Time at the Zoo!

Making & then the eating of dinner in our house is quite a stressful part of the day for me – it’s one of the reasons I took the BLW approach as puréeing and spoonfeeding, for me, would have added to that stress tenfold. But on days like today, the BLW approach isn’t much less stressful!

It’s not that I can’t cook or don’t enjoy it (as long as it’s savoury not dessert!), I can and I do but it is at that 4pm time when the “I’m hungry” cries, start ramping up a notch from Callum (Callum is always hungry!) and the “Mmmmmm, mmmmmmm” grunts start to get more insistent and my feet & legs get battered by Millie in the walker! It’s like she thinks, if she runs me over I might start cooking faster!

Most nights I cook for the children then eat later with Stuart but if Stuart is out/away I prefer to eat with the children to encourage them to eat & so I only have to cook one meal & get more of the evening to myself.

Tonight’s dinner time went a bit like this (with only some tiny elaborations):

4:00pm: Ooh got to get dinner on,  switch oven on & pull ingredients out of fridge

4:05pm: Notice the lemonade (which is laying down) is dripping as the lid hasn’t been done up tight enough by someone (again!), pull out salad draw and find a lemonade lake! Start drying up the lake.

4:10pm: Start preparing veg. I ask Callum if he wants to shell the peas – he says no & goes upstairs to play.

4:15pm: Remember that Millie is still napping & it’s gone past the dreaded 4pm cut off time which means she’ll not go to sleep until 1-1.5 hours after her bedtime (how do those maths work?)

4:16pm: Crash! Something has broken upstairs – I suspect the tea set.

4.18pm: I can confirm it was the tea set! The one from when I was a little girl that I gave Callum to play with. Fortunately, it’s not the first time parts of it have flown across the room (either accidentally as this time was or on purpose as happened when I first entrusted him with it!) so I’m a little less heartbroken than I would’ve been. I gather up the broken bits & put to one side to attempt to glue later.

4:23pm: Get Millie out of bed (bedtime is going to be hell!)

4:25pm: Feed Millie & put her down next to lots of toys

4:30pm: Get back to cooking dinner

4:34pm: Grunts & cries from Millie – I move her to her walker

4:36pm: I get back to cooking dinner

4:45pm: Grunts & cries from Millie – I move her to her booster seat in the kitchen with me.

4:55pm: Millie has kept up some grunts but less insistent but now, every time I move a piece of food she stretches out her arm to reach for it & grunts.

5:08pm: Dish up dinner & sit down to eat. Let out a big sigh but admire my lovely looking dinner of pork fillet medallions with a cheesey mushroom sauce, hasselback potatoes and Chantilly carrots (plus home-grown peas for the kids).

5:12pm: Pick up a carrot from floor

5:13pm: Pick up a fork

5:14pm: Pick up a piece of pork (this is not me with dyspraxia, this is Millie throwing stuff she doesn’t want – typical BLW behaviour)

5:15pm: I notice Millie is trying to use her fork properly & try to help her stab a piece of pork to keep her occupied so I can enjoy a bit of my dinner

5:16pm: Get Callum a different knife

5:17pm: Save the big piece of pork from flying across the kitchen & cut it up smaller.

5:18pm: Pick up a carrot, a potato and a piece of pork from the floor

5:20pm: Pour myself some wine!

5:23pm: Duck a piece of potato, get hit by a carrot

5:25pm: Get up to get Millie a drink

5:26pm: Scrape….crash! I was too slow to react as Millie pulled her plate across the breakfast bar, it falls to the floor & does not bounce (this time). They are square plates & two of the corners have flown to different sides of the kitchen.

5:27pm: I bend down to pick up the broken bits of plate & get pieces of pork rained down on me from Millie above accompanied by hysterical Millie giggles.

5:29: While clearing up plate & food mess there is a chorus of “I’ve finished my dinner & haven’t had puuuuudiiiiiing! I’ve finished my diiinner & haven’t had puuuuudiiiiiing!” from Callum. I politely beg ask Callum to be patient while I clean up the mess.

5:31pm: I notice the pool of meat juices around the bottom of the bin & have no idea how it got there. Assuming the bin bag has split, I now empty the bin to outside bin but find all is well with the bag. It’s a mystery! Callum pipes up again “I’m not talking to you, I’m singing to myself, [sings] Iiiiiiii’ve noooot had puuuuuddddiiiiiiiiing!” (I don’t even give them pudding every night!)

5:36pm: Get a fruit pot for Callum & a yogurt for Millie and wonder why I ever decided to eat dinner with the kids – I may have even got to taste it if I had eaten separately and neither of them appreciated it!

(my only elaboration was ducking the potato to get hit by a carrot! They went straight on the floor! Everything else was as it happened!)

(an hour & a half past Millie’s bedtime & I’ve just had to go into her to find her kneeling up in bed holding onto cot sides & waving at me – I can still hear her awake on the monitor)

Finding a Routine at 8 Months

My 9 months is nearly up and my hunt has begun!

Shortly before giving birth to Millie, Stuart and I discussed my plans for returning to work. It wasn’t a question of would I as I enjoy working – I love the adult interaction, I love my job (as an IT Trainer) and I’ve put a lot of effort into getting where I am in my career so I don’t want to give up on it yet. The question was when. I said I expected I’d be ready around 9 months and as that was when my Maternity Allowance ran out so money would be tight(er than it already was) it seemed like a logical plan. It did mean there would be a few months of full time childcare for 2, however, so finding a job that would cover those costs for those few months would be the biggest challenge.

Well, here I am with Millie just turned 8 months and my job search has begun! Mentally, I was ready to go back after a couple of months but my heart definitely wouldn’t have been ready then and is still struggling a bit now thinking of all the firsts I might miss. I was lucky that I had 18 months with Callum so got to see a lot of his firsts!

But, I know Millie will be fine and I will be a better mummy for working! I’m not me when I’m not working and think I’m often feel quite low as a result.

Anyway, all this talk of work is really unsettling me and making me quite anxious with so much going on in my mind. I may need to write another post to get it all out but for now my thoughts are turned to Millie and routines!

Up until now I have pretty much been baby-led. Not just with weaning but with everything. I’ve been relaxed and gone with Millie’s signals for what she wants when. Therefore, we haven’t really had any fixed daytime routine. We established a nighttime routine around 12 weeks (if not a little before) but Millie has otherwise been fed on demand (which is ‘usually’ 3 hours but sometimes more sometimes less), naps when she yawns and starts to grizzle and sleeps for an unpredictable length of time. When someone asks me about her routine or when she naps, for example if she is being babysat by my parents, its all a bit sketchy! But I realise, if I’m going back to work and Millie will be in full time nursery, they’ll want some kind of routine!

So, consciously but still led by Millie as much as possible, I’ve been trying to establish some kind of routine around times! Looking at her nap and bottle times, it does look like she may be naturally slotting into a routine herself. She still wakes up at random times between 6am and 6.45am so I’ll average that it is 6.30am and this is what I’ve noted for the last week:

6.30am – wake up, bottle, dressed
7.30-8am – breakfast
8.30am-9.15am – nap (45 minutes)
9.30am – bottle
11am-1pm – nap, bottle (2 hours)
1.15pm – lunch
4pm – bottle
5pm – dinner
6.30pm – bottle, bed (sometimes this is nearer 6)

At the moment I’m going to remain quite flexible around this times but keeping them in mind. She is still not guaranteed to sleep through every night – like last night she woke at 10.45 and wouldn’t settle then downed a whole bottle so its hard to be fixed during the day plus I find being too strict just causes me stress and babies do kind of do what they want to do whether you like it or not. As hard as they have been I do think I enjoyed the first 6 months a lot more than with Callum because I was more relaxed and therefore Millie has been a lot easier baby (aside from the not sleeping through at night until later).

Now….about that job….!

BLW: Learning the Pincer Grasp

One of the reasons I love BLW is that I am absolutely fascinated watching Millie’s learning and improving dexterity.

For example, she’ll be holding a piece of food, like a bread stick, in her fist and has finished eating the bit that sticks out the top of her hand but can’t get to the piece that’s still in her fist. Originally, when she couldn’t get to that food, she would just open her fist, drop it and move to the next food item. Now, she will place it down on the table and pick it up slightly different, sometimes using her other hand to help her.

The other fascinating development is watching her slowly master the ‘pincer grasp’ which is where we use our thumb and forefinger to pick up small objects. Knowing that babies when you first start to wean them (at 6 months) can’t pick up food items such as peas and dry cheerios (or the Aldi Harvestmoon equivalent in our house – Multigrain Hoops!) it can be easy to just avoid offering them until much later but I have offered these items to Millie from the start. Yes, she used to struggle to pick them up and then give in. Then she could pick them up in her fist then drop them when she couldn’t get to the food. Now, however, she has progressed to using a sort of side grasp. Its not a clear pincer grasp yet but certainly a pre-curser to it and I would say she is not far off fully mastering it.

To show her progress, I’ve taken a video of her eating the above mentioned Harvestmoon Multigrain Hoops. She has picked up food with a better grasp than in the video but not when I’ve had my phone/camera to hand but you get the idea.

The video also shows how she is using both hands in co-ordination to help her get food to her mouth and passing from one hand to the other.

Keep watching for the very cute (in my biased opinion) hoop wave at the end!

BLW: Top Tips

Things are going well for Millie – we are at 8 months now and, aside from yogurt which is more miss than hit, Millie is loving anything I’m throwing at her (clearly not throwing).

What I thought might be really helpful to others is if I compiled a top tips page of things I’ve discovered or even to reinforce things I’ve read in the book which have helped me too.

I’ll keep coming back to this page and adding tips to it as I discover or remember them. If you have any you have discovered then please do share them in the comments and I’ll add them in – all tips welcome.

So here goes (in no particular order – bullets are purely for ease of reading)!

• Set expectations: Expect Mess! - Its gonna happen and if you are prepared for it you are a lot less likely to be concerned by it. Expect waste! – This is the thing I find hardest to deal with. The waste! But its a bit like the mess issue – expecting it makes it easier to accept. Also, in the beginning if they are eating with you and what you are eating or what someone else is eating (for me its often just Callum and Millie eating) then its less of an issue as you just share a little bit of what you have. There’s no need to make too much extra, if its pasta you are talking about 3 pasta shapes maybe, quarter of a slice of bread for toast, half or even quarter of a wheatabix, Keep it spall to begin with and you’ll waste a lot less. When they start to eat properly, then you can make more of a portion but this is going to take some time – their tummies are still very small (size of their fist). If you do make too much, just give a little bit at a time then save the rest for another meal. Got 6 carrot sticks, give 2 then add more if they need/want them – the others can always be put in the fridge for later if not wanted. If you keep the floor beneath them clean then I’ve nothing against picking up food Millie has dropped and giving it back to her (again, if we are at home).
• Old sheet/disposable plastic table cloth (or the like) – If you have a carpet where the food play is going to happen, put one of these down first. An old sheet can be thrown in the washing machine and a wipeable tablecloth or playmat can be wiped clean after meal times.
• Wear an apron – I read this in the book and find it a great idea. If we are eating at home (less acceptable in public) and Millie is either on my lap or I’m loading spoons of soft food for her, I wear an apron – much easier than having to keep changing my clothes. Especially for me with the soft food – Millie doesn’t like soft food and will bash the spoon until it is thrown across the room, at the floor or at me!
• Food on table/surface or large mat – To start with, put food straight onto the table top if possible or, if not, a large mat. If a mat, preferably a heavy one or one that sticks. Bowls and plates will be as much a fascination as the food itself (remember its ALL new to your baby) so WILL be played with, turned upside down, dropped, eaten! I’ve not avoided bowls as Millie has to get used to them to be able to move on from playing with them but I might put the food in them for a bit then when she starts to play with the bowl I tip out the food and let her play.

  
  Plain surfaces work best!

• Use plain bowls and plates – If you have to use a bowl or plate – lets face it, soggy wheatabix, soup etc does not work  well on flat surfaces – then stick to plain ones. Your baby may not tell the difference between 2D & 3D things yet (I’ve tried to research this but haven’t found anything useful) and may try to pick up the ‘pictures’ which then leads to picking up the whole bowl plate. I’ve found Millie shows a lot less interest in the bowl or plate if I use a plain one. Also, I actually find the ceramic plates better than plastic ones as they are heavier & harder to pick up but, obviously, you’ve got the breakable risk there.
• Put new foods on your plate not theirs – Something we discovered with Callum, as they start to get older and a bit pickier and more suspicious of new foods, don’t put it on their plate, put it on yours and talk about it with the rest of the family/eaters (“mmmm, this courgette is nice”). Immediate intrigue! Next may follow “can I try it” or if not speaking a grab for your plate. If not, you could just casually ask if they want to try it or offer it. We found Callum was much more likely to try and like more foods like this. These days, now he is 4, if I want him to try something new I include him with the food prep and get him to try the food both cold and hot and compare. This is why eating as a family or eating your meals with your baby works the best when blw because they see you eating so are reassured its safe and want to copy. They learn from you!
• Don’t hold back – Remember, the early days are the best times to try as much variety of food as possible! Try it all. Don’t hold back because ‘most babies’ don’t like that flavour (Callum & Millie have often preferred stronger flavours to mild ones and think about lemon – both kids love sucking a lemon!!!! I can’t stand it!). Some babies have even enjoyed eating actual chilli peppers – raw! Personally, I’d avoid going straight in there with a vindaloo but start with mild spice (like a mildly spiced chilli & rice) and if they don’t recoil from the spice or cry (like Callum first did) then try something spicier. I’m not talking hold a “How much spice is too spicy!” contest but if you like making curries at home then give it a go! Same with mushy food and small food – if they don’t get to play with it then it will take them longer to learn how to do it. I love watching Millie now use her pincer grip to pick up foods and have loved watching how she has learnt to do it. Same as when she picks up food in her fist and can’t get to it with her mouth, I’m itching to help her but all by herself she has learnt to put it down and pick it up differently allowing her mouth to get to the food.

Smoked Salmon & Asparagus are big hits

• Keep trying – linked to the above, if you offer them food and they pull a face and throw it on the floor, don’t give up, keep trying. I think someone once told me you have to offer them the same food and let them reject it 13 times before you accept that they don’t like that food. Remember, they are in control of what they eat and what they need so they 1) might not need that food that day; 2) be taken by surprise by the taste and need to get used to it; 3) just be more interested in one of the other flavours on offer that day; 4) just not like a slight variation in that brand, i.e. yogurt – you get lots of different flavours and different styles, try them all. With yogurt we first tried Millie on one of those tube style yogurts and flicked it all over the kitchen, tried a bit more, flicked it over the kitchen, then again. Next time I tried the same yogurt but different flavour and she loved it (though I pre-loaded the spoon as she struggled with the tube). Tried a yogurt pot yesterday and today (different flavours) and she pulled a face and dismissed both.

Yogurt was more successful second try

• Go straight to booster – I’ve said this in an earlier blog but can recommend avoiding the highchair altogether and going straight for a booster. They really can then be included with the family mealtimes then and are much easier to transport if needed – even if just between rooms. We have a booster that works at the kitchen breakfast bar and at the dining room table. Very easy to keep clean too!
• Two spoons – If you are pre-loading spoons for them to take, while they have one, just as it looks like they are finished with it (not before) then load the next one. They should see the new spoon and think its something knew and go for it – but be quick and ready to catch because the other spoon will be discarded with a quick drop/throw. If you load too soon then they may discard what they are eating immediately. I love watching Millie eating say a carrot with another identical carrot in front of her, she sees the other carrot and drops the one she is eating for the one on the table. I place the discarded one back on the table and immediately she wants to swap again no matter how recently she just picked up the last one! If you just have the one spoon, you may find yourself wrestling with them for it even if the food on it has gone.
• Its bananas! – Keep the bananas small then once you’ve peeled back the skin to halfway, trim it. Keep half of it peeled so they have something to hold on to and then trim it so the skin doesn’t get in their way (think that one is in the book but its a good one!). Another good tip for all kids – frozen bananas! Especially if the skin has started to go a little (very) black and noses are starting to turn up. Peel them, if you wish you can slice them in half longways, place on a baking sheet or something similar then pop in the freezer. Once frozen, you can pop them in a food bag and then the kids (or you) can eat them like ice pops!
• Food overload! – Remember not to overload your baby’s plate. It can be tempting to put a wide variety of different foods on their ‘plate’ all at once so they can choose what they want to eat but they can get quite easily overwhelmed and not want any of it. Both Callum & Millie, in the early days, would just sit there or complain if there was too much in front of them but if we just put a couple of bits down and add pieces as they were eaten, dropped or discarded then they would happily explore each piece. Although, as mentioned above, if you put something new down while they have something already in their hand, it will be too interesting to resist and they will drop what they are eating to investigate even if it is exactly the same as what they have in their hands.

(The book I refer to is ‘Baby-Led Weaning: Helping Your Baby to To Love Good Food’ by Gill Rapley & Tracey Murkett)

8 Month Sleep Regression

How did I forget?

I was lulled in to the false sense of sleep – Millie’s sleep pattern was not perfect but was definitely bearable. Usually having a bottle between 10pm and 11pm and then waking between 6.30am and 7.30am with the very rare occasion of going longer or, even rarer, all night! I was getting a good many hours sleep! I was starting to feel human again.

Then WHAM!

It hit me!

Out of the blue!

The 8 month sleep regression!

I’d forgotten all about it and started to panic that she was on the start of some bad habits! Callum was regularly sleeping through from 6 months from 7-7. We are yet to get a regular routine of this with Millie. I started beating myself up, as us parents regularly do, about being tougher on Callum than on Millie and therefore paying the price!

I decided it was time I took control (having relinquished the control to Millie for most of her 8 month life, being led by her), time I got tough and denied her these silly snacking bottles she had started having in the night! Operation sleep through started last night. She had slept through before I knew she could do it – hell, she could regularly sleep 7 hours straight when she was a few weeks old.

Last night, she went to bed easily, as she usually does, at 7pm then the first grizzle came about 10.30pm. I let her grizzle for a bit then thought I was more likely to get her to sleep until 7am if I was to feed her then so about 11pm I dragged myself out of the slow descent into dreamland and I fed her – she took about 3oz of a 7oz bottle. Groan! She could’ve had more!!!

Then around 3am she grizzles again. Hang on its only 3am, you can do better than that Millie! I got up and tried the dummy! Twice! I stroked her! I shhhh patted her! Several times I made it back to the bedroom and a couple of times actually back into bed…even just starting to get warm again….before she started the grizzle once more. By 4.30am, I couldn’t take any more and gave in. I knew she would sleep as soon as she had the bottle so I gave her the bottle. I expected her to guzzle it up. She didn’t, she had 3.5oz of another 7oz bottle. Rah! But, back to sleep she went with just a couple of soft murmurs.

Then, as I was documenting on Twitter my early morning '#nightfeed updates, I awoke to lots of lovely support and was also reminded about the 8 month sleep regression!

Relief! Its temporary!

I can relax, let her do her thing and wait for her to get over it! I may have to feed her a couple of extra times a night for a week or 2 but stressing wont make it go any quicker and its only temporary. She will start sleeping through again. She will! Will!

*starts rocking staring into the distance as Callum wipes the dribble from my mouth*

ETA: Great article on the 8 Month Sleep Regression

BLW: Chairs and Chomping

I really feel like Millie has made a bit of a leap forward with the baby-lead weaning in the past week. She is gagging less and less, she hasn’t lost any enthusiasm with trying new foods, if anything, she is even more enthusiastic and enjoying foods she has previously dismissed. As I type she is happily sucking the life out of a rehydrated apricot – her first try of this.

Her nappies are turning from a bright yellow to a woody brown colour with added lumps! (gross I know, sorry!) This tells me she is definitely swallowing some of what goes into her mouth! Whoever knew nappy watch could be so exciting (its not – I’ve not seeped that low…yet!).

Although we haven ‘t tried her on anything particularly spicy yet, if something has a tiny bit of heat (like a mild chilli) she hasn’t refused it…or burst into tears like Callum did making me feel just awful! She is another lemon lover though! No idea where either child gets that from but certainly not me! I hate lemon…even as a slice in a drink!

Her dexterity progress is slow. She still can’t really control a cup of water (with or without a sippy lid) and spoons, unsurprisingly, are still pre-loaded…and often whacked on the table top or chair until topping is removed!

I did have a lightbulb moment yesterday with medicine. Why, if I’m encouraging Millie to take a spoon in her own hand and eat off it, am I surprised when she gets upset or rejects medicine when I spoonfeed her it or inject it into her mouth with a syringe? Instead, I tried filling half the 5ml side of a medicine spoon (2.5ml being the correct dose for her age) and then carefully handing the spoon to her. It worked, she was much more agreeable to it though did get a little excited and flicked the last bit off the spoon at my mum & her glasses. I’d still call it a success!

We have had to get used to feeling like a celebrity when we are eating out with Millie as she gets lots of attention. Obviously, for being so goddam cute (in my unbiased opinion) but also because they are so surprised to see a baby her age eating proper solid food. Most of the attention is from grandparent aged people “wow, look at her chomping into that piece of celery – my grandson is older than her and he isn’t on that sort of solids yet and he is such a fussy eater!” was one amazed exclamation. Its not uncommon, these days, for parents who start weaning their children to also offer finger foods from 6 months (whether they started weaning at 6 months or before) so it surprises me that they are so amazed – perhaps its because she is a petite baby too so looks even more surprising. Or perhaps even when parents offer finger food when out it is less obvious.

I think we have won over my parents more this time than we did with Callum. Though think Mum disapproves of our reluctance to offer chocolate until Millie is 1 year old. She even bought her a chocolate Easter pressie, I think intended to sway us, but I’m staying strong. I’m not mean but while she doesn’t know what it is, I’m hesitant to introduce her. I’m not restricting her from anything else – if I was eating a bit of cake and, although I wouldn’t necessarily offer it, if she went for it I’d let her have some. I do believe no food should be taboo as it just creates a bigger attraction to it but I don’t want foods like chocolate to replace nutritious food while she is eating such little amounts of actual food (as opposed to milk). By 1 she should be on 3 meals a day so the occasional chocolate treat wont then be a big deal. The rest of us all eat far more chocolate than perhaps we should so there’s no harm in delaying her chocolate addiction! I think that’s it – we eat cake occasionally but chocolate frequently. While she is meant to be eating what we eat, cake is less of a frequent issue.

Once more (as with Callum) we have gone for the booster seat over high chair route. Mainly because we wanted something Millie could use both at the breakfast bar and at the dinner table. The only high chair that gets to both heights is gorgeous but also £400!!!!! But, to be fair, the booster seat is completely adequate as she is over 6 months and sitting up strong and we would want her pushed up to the table rather than using the tray anyway. We’ve gone with a cheapy, easy to clean, £15 booster from Mothercare. If your baby is over 6 months I’d actually recommend it over a space-taking cumbersome, sometimes expensive (unless from Ikea) highchair – it will last them right until they are ready to sit on a normal chair too! My sister said, after having 3 children, if there was one thing she would have changed for number 1 it would’ve been to not bother at all with a highchair – she only used it for consecutive children because she already bought it for her first. I’m inclined to agree with her having not bought a highchair for either Callum or Millie.

Here is the seat we bought.

Here is Millie enjoying a Hot Cross Bun & some cucumber on her chair at the kitchen breakfast bar.

I really like these too and because my parents kindly gave us some money towards a highchair, I’m going to get one as they are really handy to put in the car to take to restaurants and for when you visit family or friends without children/with older children.

One thing was for sure, Millie had definitely outgrown the Bumbo and it really wasn’t safe for her to remain on top of the breakfast bar or table instead of on a chair.

My Dad loved seeing her joining in as part of the family pushed up against the table while we were enjoying our Sunday roast. I think Millie rather likes it too!

Wake Up Millie, I Think I’ve Got Some Food to Give to You

We are now well into weaning and its so great to see Millie’s enthusiasm for trying new foods. Dare you try have something that she’s not allowed and she looks most perturbed at your cheek!

One of the problems I am finding though, and I think I remember this with Callum too, is trying to provide the opportunities for Millie to try things. I get so excited when I buy a food ingredient or make something Millie hasn’t tried yet – I’m being brave and looking for foods I wouldn’t normally buy. Its a great opportunity for us all to try something new, including Callum. So I’ll plan a meal or keep it waiting for the right time to try.

To increase the chances of BLW being successful your baby should eat when you are eating or at least with someone else other than them eating. In this day and age, its not always easy to eat dinners as a family and Stuart and I do like to eat together in the evening so I like Millie to eat when Callum eats for her ‘evening’ meal. Then during the day, I usually eat my breakfast and lunch at the same time as Callum and Millie.

However, it is typical that as we approach lunch or evening meal time for Callum, it will coincide with Millie’s nap time. Millie doesn’t have a routine for napping, it suits us better that she wakes when she wants and then naps when she wants and where-ever is convenient. Millie wakes at a different time each day and her naps last different amounts of times. She will wake between 6.30 and 7.30am. She is awake for between 1.5-2 hours and then will sleep from anywhere between 45minutes to 2.5 hours. Because her nap routine is unpredictable, it isn’t easy for me to plan a dinner time. I try to keep Callum’s dinner time the same time each evening (between 4.30 and 5) and hope that Millie is able to join in at some point. He takes so long to eat that sometimes it works for Callum to start dinner & Millie to join when she wakes up.

Then  on Thursdays and Fridays, Callum has dinner at nursery so she often doesn’t get a dinner on those days.

At the moment, as far as Millie is concerned, she is just playing and not actually consuming food. She does not yet know that real food can satisfy her hunger and milk is the main source of food for her. Therefore, it doesn’t matter in the early days if she misses meals. But, to give her the most opportunities to learn about food and how to eat, the more she joins us when eating the better. As I’ve said before, Millie is much more interested in the food when it is on my plate rather than presented to her.

Despite all this, we’ve tried lots more new foods this past week.

Strawberries – liked
Raspberries – didn’t like and I amazing managed to salvage her top & trousers which I thought were destroyed with juice stains. Vanish soap I love you!
Parsnip – liked
Beef – liked
Smoked Salmon – tried a couple of times but pulled disgusted face & discarded
Avocado – liked
Lasagne – I preloaded the spoon for her but let her play with her hands too. She was keen to start with but then was more interested in the bowl
Spaghetti Bolognese – played with but didn’t get much to her mouth
Pitta bread – liked
Apple rice cakes – liked
Cabbage – liked
Asparagus – loved
Carrot Stick crisp – liked
Bread dipped in tomato & basil soup – didn’t like

We had tried mash before but without much luck. Millie seems to prefer the solid food to the mush. Its probably nicer on her teething gums. However, I tried mash again and she showed more interest this time…until she just wanted her spoon back minus the mash and did this to dispatch of the mash.

In terms of progress, nappy watch is still on and there are still flecks of toast and wheatabix and evidence of the odd thing getting through…like asparagus – that was a pleasant nappy!!!

But the majority of food still gets gagged and coughed out of her mouth. Even the stuff she likes above she still loses interest in pretty quickly so she’ll suck on a rice cake until about a quarter of it has dissolved then will discard it.

She will often prefer the hard plastic lids, bowls, spoons to the actual food if they are within reach.

                

She is getting better at getting food and even loaded spoons to her mouth but there is still a lot of room for improvement. She will often study what is on a spoon and grab at the contents with her fingers. We’re in no hurry, she’ll get there in the end and in the meantime we are having fun with it! Which is the important thing!

BLW: Trust Your Baby, Gag vs Choke

Its been over 2 weeks now since we started BLW and progress is slow but there definitely is progress.

One of the things it is difficult to get used to in the early days of BLW is trusting your child & your child’s body to do what’s right. By this, I’m talking about the risk of choking. They say as long as your baby is sitting upright and their necks are strong enough, their gag reflex should do all the work and the risk of choking is, theoretically, lower than spoon-feeding.

Being as this is my second child, it is much easier this time, reassured by the fact that Callum never choked. It was frightening the first day I gave Callum toast for breakfast. It was one of his first introductions to food and he really gagged on it and threw up an entire bottle of milk with milk coming through his nose. I fought the urge to run to him and pick him up etc, I just put on a smile said “oh dear” and…..er….took a photo! (Only after I knew he was ok! You’re saved, I’ve not got the photo which came after on this computer but below is the one just before!!)

                     
     Callum eating toast                                                                                 Millie eating toast

I was a little hesitant to offer Millie toast at first, but she gagged and puked on banana and other stuff so I plucked up the courage to offer it to her and she was absolutely fine, no puke! In fact, its one of her favourite foods that she’ll happily gum for ages. There is even evidence in that fabulous game we now play “Identify that Food in the Poop” (yes, we know how to have fun in this house!) that she has swallowed some of the toast – tell tale black/brown flecks.

If you do trust your little ones and they are safely positioned, it is highly probable that they will gag in the first few days/weeks. Their gag reflexes are so sensitive and they also have a tongue-thrust reflex which pushes objects to the front of their mouth. Amazing what our human bodies do and that babies are born with these reflexes to protect them from choking. As babies learn to have more control over their tongue, the tongue-thrust reflex will relax, soften, whatever the correct terminology is. I’m already witnessing an improvement with Millie’s tongue control skills. She wont always just let the food fall out of her mouth or her tongue doesn’t always push it out, sometimes she manages to purposefully control her tongue to push the food back and swallow. There may be a bit of a tongue-food tussle first but, occasionally, Millie will win.

It really helped to be told that gagging is a natural reflex action to having food in their mouth….and therefore it is also natural for them to be sick. Also that if they are coughing, they are breathing and therefore they are NOT choking. If they are coughing or gagging, do not pick them up and hit them on the back, let their mouths and bodies clear the food on its own. If you are unsure, Google the difference between gagging and choking. There are some YouTube vids of babies gagging to show you what’s ok. This site was also quite helpful.

This all said, I would also advise any parent, when they are approaching the weaning stage, to do a child’s First Aid course or to remind themselves of what action to take if you’ve already done one, just for peace of mind, whether you are puréeing or doing BLW. Saying they are unlikely to choke is different to saying they wont choke and it is better to be safe and to know what to do just in case. It will also help you to relax about it and just trust them to get on with it.

Now back to Millie – strangely, she does seem to be a bit slower to grasp feeding/weaning/eating than Callum. Callum was able to use his doidy cup a lot earlier than Millie – Millie’s hand control is still a bit erratic so she just throws the water over herself. Same with a shot glass (so wrong but works….don’t worry, it only contains water!!). Even in her TommieTippee Cup she picks it up sideways and bites the edge. She does love water though. The first few times she was offered water, it cascaded out of her mouth in a waterfall affect but she’d grab for more and more. Now she manages to swallow.

This week, new stuff I’ve tried:

Butternut Squash Risotto – great fun to play with but not much consuming
Houmous – not really a fan and doesn’t understand dipping yet
Chips – I know, naughty, but once in a while wont hurt. Unsurprisingly she liked it!
Celery – had a really good suck on that
Prawn – ignored
Roast carrot (may have tried that last week) – not fussed
Roast onion – thought she liked it at first but then couldn’t get it out of her mouth quick enough
Yorkshire Pud – liked

A firm favourite which she had previously tried is definitely red pepper.

One thing I’m really enjoying is my renewed enthusiasm to cook real homemade meals again for Callum (and Millie). I had got a bit lazy with my having to cook 2 meals a day firstly for Callum and then for Stuart and I later. But now I’m making homemade versions of the favourites like chicken nuggets (and homemade chips) and also things like vegetable croquettes, the butternut squash risotto, beef casseroles. I’ve a fish pie pack in the freezer at the ready and looking forward to making fish fingers and/or fish cakes again. So easy to make but haven’t really done it since Callum was little (well, a baby/toddler, he is still little).

I did make lots of dinners from scratch and we did eat fresh food regularly but where I’d sometimes reach for the premade frozen fish fingers or nuggets, I’m now making my own and trying new recipes again.

This has stretched to when we have guests come and stay too, I’m wanting to cook new things rather than stick to the old faithfuls, shop bought or take-away.

Now to finish on a couple more photos of Millie for you:

1. Pear; 2a. Bite; 2b. Spit out; 2c. Bite

3. Enjoying a Red Pepper from a prawn salad

4. Mmmm like this asparagus in my roast dinner

BLW–And We’re Off!

If you read my previous post, Why I Can’t Wait for Weaning, you’d know how excited I was for Millie to turn 6 months so we could start Baby-Led Weaning. We did Baby-Led Weaning with Callum and I couldn’t wait to try it again with Millie. The date she turned 6 months was Wednesday, 20 February. I thought it couldn’t hurt to go by 6 months in weeks (24 weeks) and I assumed that would be sooner than the Wednesday, so started ‘officially’ on the Saturday before.

For the previous couple of weeks Millie had been really honing in on whatever we were eating and if we made the mistake of passing our hands holding an item of food within the reach of Millie, she’d be on it! Dragging it to her mouth!

So, when we popped out for a pub lunch and Millie, while sat on my lap, reached out to my (undressed) salad, I let her. Red and yellow peppers, cherry tomatoes (halved), lambs lettuce and cucumber. She tried it all, enthusiastically. Of course, just gumming it some and not consuming, but she gave it all a good go.

Since then, as is normal with BLW, its been a bit here and there. I’m keen to keep what she tries as healthy as possible and our diet hasn’t always been that healthy or its just been unsuitable. That said, I think there has only been one day where she hasn’t been offered anything at all.

Her interest in the food once she has it is very changeable. Sometimes gumming it with gusto, often biting bits off then coughing or gagging them out or sometimes showing no interest at all after an initial investigation with her hands.

I will say, she is much more inclined to go for the food if it is from a plate in front of me and she is sat on my lap. She looks really put out if I’m eating something and she isn’t allowed to try any.

Things we have offered her in the past week (aside from those always mentioned):

Apple on a core – loves
Toast fingers – loves
Cheese omlette – no interest
Roast chicken – bit of interest but not much past first gum
Cheddar & Babybel Cheese – likes
Brie – no real interest
Banana – liked but didn’t like it in her mouth
Sausage – tasted but no real interest
Butternut squash & potato mash on a pre-loaded spoon – appeared most perturbed that her play spoon had some mush on it
Wheatabix on a pre-loaded spoon – pulled a funny face at first but wasn’t too disgusted
Roast potato, roast sweet potato and roast carrot – tasted but not much interest after initial taste
Grapes (halved) – liked
Peas – not expecting her to get any to her mouth, was more just to play with while Callum had his dinner
Rice krispies – as above but substitute dinner for breakfast
Cheesey pasta – played with her hands but didn’t taste

I keep making food for Callum but his meal time will coincide with her nap time so she doesn’t get to try anything.

Mostly, anything that she gets in her mouth is either just gummed or spat back out but there was a tiny shred of evidence in her nappy this morning (the joys of studying baby poo!!!!) in the form of tiny black wormlike fibres (they didn’t wiggle!), most likely to be the banana.

Along with the food, I’ve tried to introduce water in a shot glass. I still hold it for her at the moment as her co-ordination is still quite wild but she asks for it and I let her control her head and mouth towards the glass, just tipped enough so she can get to the water. I’ve Callum’s old doidy cup at the ready. As soon as I see she her dexterity improving, I’ll be giving her free reign with the doidy cup.

I Feel the Need, the Need to Dreamfeed

When Callum was a baby, I had heard of dreamfeeding. It is when, just as you go to bed, you carefully pick up your baby while they are sleeping, feed them, then carefully put them back in their cot – the aim is for them to stay asleep (hence the name) throughout the process but the dreamfeed gives them a little boost in the hope that they sleep through or at least sleep longer.

It had been very successful for many of my parent friends so I was eager to try it.

I’m not sure exactly when we started dreamfeeding Callum but I know by looking back through this blog that we were by the time he was 10 weeks. We then kept it up until just before he was 5 months old. What made us decide to stop was when I looked back at the sleep log I had kept since Callum was born, Callum was naturally doing OK on his own, gradually sleeping longer and longer in between feeds at night. Then from the time we introduced the dreamfeed, he started waking up more frequently – the time he would sleep between feeds was reduced.

The fourth night after we dropped the dreamfeed, Callum slept through the night for the first time from 7pm until 7.10am (after last feed at 6.30pm).

For this reason, I wasn’t in a hurry to try a dreamfeed with Millie unless I really felt she would benefit from it, and it would work!

Up until now, I didn’t feel it would be worth trying. Millie often woke around 10-10.30pm for a feed of her own accord (which is approximately when we would be doing the dreamfeed) and she would then sleep until 3-3.30am and then after 7am.

However, we were invited by our friends for dinner next weekend. My mum had agreed to babysit for both the kids but as my parents had spent a lot of time recently living out of a suitcase for various reasons they preferred that they looked after them at their own house rather than staying at ours. So for us, you would be forgiven in thinking, whoop whoop! A full night of sleep. Can you imagine?

BUT, with Millie still not sleeping through the night and could be up twice in one night, I worried for my Mum. I could tell she wasn’t revelling in the idea either and Mum thought Millie was sleeping through when she agreed.

Operation get Millie sleeping through began!

Millie woke at 10.30pm again one night but then slept through until 7am. I suggested to Stuart we try feeding her at about 10/10.30pm every night now whether she woke or not – so dreamfeeding if she didn’t wake on her own. She may fully well do it on her own every night but her nightfeeds are so changeable that we couldn’t rely on that and with the pressure of the night at my parent’s approaching, I wanted to take action to encourage her to do it again.

The first night Stuart successfully dreamfed her at 10pm. She then slept until 6.15am then happily nattering to herself until 6.45am. Clever girl – that’s what we like. So last night was the second night. We were watching a film which finished at 10.50pm so I fed her then. She stayed asleep throughout but then woke for her next feed at 3.30am. Boo, fail! I’m hoping it was just down to her having a dirty nappy.

I figure its worth continuing to try for this week, until we get this Saturday out the way and then make a decision as to whether we will continue it past then, depending on its success.

Tonight is a bit of a miss though as she has just woken for a feed at 9.30pm and she is a very stubborn young lady – she will only feed if she is hungry and there is no convincing her otherwise! This 9.30pm feed will have to be her last one until she wakes again during the night (if she does). Fingers crossed she’ll sleep until 7.

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A little thought to finish on – despite all this effort to get her to sleep through, after some tragic news on Twitter and in the Blogging World this weekend, part of me welcomes her waking in the night for another cuddle & reassurance. My thoughts are with the family that wont have that opportunity tonight.

Four Month Sleep Regression

You may have noticed I’ve been rather quiet about Millie recently – that’s because I’ve been in the depths of hell with The Four Monthlies. If you are not familiar with this phenomena it is when your 4 month old decides to start waking up more frequently in the night (so if you were lucky enough that they slept through, they wont be anymore and if they only woke once, they can now wake up to 3 times) and when they do wake they are AWAKE! The professionals call it the Four Month Sleep Regression. Google it and you’ll find parent after parent screaming for help on the various parenting forums.

From what I understand, its a combination of a growth spurt and their brains becoming more active. Also, it is about this time their sleep changes from being like a newborn to being more like an adults. The 4-5am part of the morning is when we have our lightest sleep – its the most common time for insomniacs to suffer too. Which is great when Millie wakes up for a feed, decides to lay awake chatting and then when she does finally go back to sleep, I have insomnia. Sigh!

Many parents will mistake this period for thinking their baby is starving hungry and needs to be weaned. However, if you weather the storm, they will get better and will continue until much later to be satisfied on milk alone without the need for solids.

I remember Callum going through this stage just after Christmas and I had thought it was the upset of routine over Christmas. It was only from going on forums myself that I later learned about the Four Monthlies. It was hell then too but it did get better and a couple of months later he slept through the night 7-7. But at least this time I was i) expecting it; and ii) had faith that it was ‘just a phase’. And, for the record, we didn’t wean Callum until after 6 months and he wasn’t really interested in food until much later.

So, at the start of Millie’s Four Monthlies, we had feeding every 2 hours again through the night – Yawn! She was only drinking 2-3 ounces at a time and then she would puke it all up requiring a complete outfit change (both of us!). If she didn’t puke, the other end exploded in a watery mess and, again, requiring an outfit, grobag & bed covers change! Then just as we were getting over that – well getting towards every 3-4 hours, not quite the 6-8 of when she was teeny tiny – and she started increasing her milk intake again, she started waking for 1-2 hours at a time. Chatting and cooing to herself.

Finally, I’m hoping we are reaching the other side. I hate to jinx it and I’m sure the next ‘phase’ will be along soon to mess it all up again but for the last 2 nights she has gone back to having a 5-6 hour stretch - feeding just as we go to bed then only waking one other time around 3-4am. The night before last, I was still up an hour but she chatted to herself for a bit then went to sleep and was mainly only up for that time because she did a poo & needed her nappy changed (but no outfit change – whoop!). Then last night, she was up for about half hour and as soon as I laid her down, she did struggle to sleep but she was trying rather than just chatting. She also got herself off to sleep without me needing to hold her or anything.

I’m hoping this is the beginning of the end. Just in time for Christmas. If it is, it will probably be my best Christmas present this year – Sleep! (Sorry Stuart!)

Comparing Chalk to Cheese? More Cheddar to Feta!

Despite repeating the mantra “every child is different” it is still natural, when you have more than one child, to compare! Are they more chilled? Do they sleep better? When did the first one sit up, roll over, crawl etc, and will this one be sooner or later?

You hear stories from friends, family, strangers in the street – “oh the second child is a lot more chilled than the first, they have to be”. “My John was a great sleeper but his little brother, Roger, had us up every night until the age of 20!!”.

So, yes, I’ve been doing my own little bit of comparing since Millie arrived!

Night-time Sleep

My memory of Callum was of the constant battle to get him to sleep through the night but waking up about every 1.5 to 2 hours at the start and every 3 to 4 hours near the end, eventually doing the much anticipated but felt illusive ‘sleep through’ at about 6 months! I considered this quite average. Not “my baby slept through at 6 weeks” wonderful but not “my child still wakes us up every night at aged 3” fear.

Millie, apart from the first few days where she was very ‘typical’ of a newborn, feeding all though the night and sleeping all through the day, it was very early on when she gave me a taste of sleep. Within the first couple of weeks she did a couple of 7 hour stints, then regularly slotted into a 6 hour sleep at night but once or twice going as long as 8 hours!

But that is no more – after playing around with formula versus breastmilk for a while (her and me) she has now slotted into a sleep about 8pm, wake for dummy about 11.30pm – feed between 1 and 2am then feed about 4am. I say “slotted into” like it is some sort of regular routine. She has done this for last 2 nights but still every night can be very different so I hesitate to say it is her ‘usual’ routine.

I will say, though, that she appeared to sleep much better when solely breastfed even when she was breastfed through the night but formula fed through the day I’m sure the 2nd 4am feed used to be more like 5am!

I sometimes wish she never granted me with that little taste – I’d probably feel much better about the wake ups now!

Day-time sleep

For Callum I remember holding him, rocking him, attempting to lay him in the cot, bending myself double so he thought he was still firmly held to me, managing to get him horizontal, gently starting to place him on the cot then “waaaaaaaaaaaaah” – screaming like I was placing him in a bath full of acid!

Trying to get him to sleep day or night on his own, self-soothing was laughable and reading back in my blog it appears I could spend a whole hour trying to get him off for a nap. But I also think I tried to push him into a fixed daytime sleep routine too soon. I still don’t have such a thing with Millie. With Millie, I’m all about the cues – the first yawn & grizzle she is straight up to bed whether she has been awake an hour or 2 hours, she leads the way and I place her down in her gro-bag (sleeping bag type thing) with her dummy in, place her muslin one side, her bunny comforter the other side, draw blinds & walk out the room. I may have to go into her once or twice to replace her dummy or muslin but it really is very little effort. If she is overtired due to missing the cues or trying to stretch her a little longer for whatever reason then I may have to hold her to sleep but even when this is the case, I can usually just get her to drowsy & place her down in her cot. With Callum, I never saw a cue until it was too late!

Feeding

Their feeding patterns appear to be quite similar. Both have hit a 2oz per feed max phase about the same 3 month point. Neither of them ever ‘big’ eaters. I don’t think we ever got Callum up to 8oz and he wasn’t a big scoffer though he would take a bottle nearly every time you offered it, just maybe not take very much. This means, if he had his last bottle a couple of hours ago but I was giving him another as part of his bedtime routine, he would take it. Millie – not a chance! If only half hour before her next feed she will refuse, pushing the teat out with her tongue and batting the bottle away with her hands. She will sleep then wake up at her proper feed time – the little madam!!!

Development

Despite Callum being born 3.5 weeks early, he was pretty strong at holding his neck up and Millie followed suit but, if anything was even stronger than Callum. Her legs constantly wanted to stand & she would throw herself back away from you with such force that you were scared she was going to throw herself out of your hands – you daren’t hold her with one arm/hand when she was upright.

Then very early on she blessed us with a smile, then shortly following a laugh. Her first roll from front to back was at 12 weeks – Callum was 6 months, 3 weeks before his first roll though was very early to sit at 5 months. We don’t know for Millie yet – its too early for sitting.

Of course, its still far too soon to tell how different their personalities are going to be and any further development milestones are unknown. But its exciting waiting to find out.

I think it is not so much that Millie is more chilled than Callum but when she hits the same or similar phases to Callum, I am more chilled about it & know things will take their own course there’s no use getting stressed about it. Apart from the milk consumption – I can’t help thinking if I could just get more milk into her during the day she’ll sleep better at night but – if my memory does serve me right it isn’t necessarily that one will naturally follow the other, I think the sleep came before the milk consumption for Callum.

It will be interesting to do another one of these posts in a couple of months time comparing the 6 months stage.

Callum & Millie both at aproximately 14 Weeks