Locked & Loaded: 40 weeks, 2 days

I had my next MW appointment today for another sweep and to book in my induction.

My BP was really good and no other problems. When she did the sweep, she said the baby was fully engaged, I was 1.5-2 cm dilated, cervix soft & central, waters bulging, braxton hicks occurring! So, seems we are all systems go and are just waiting for the signal!

Because everything is going well, the induction isn’t booked until 29th August in the hope that I’ll go into labour naturally before then. I need to call Poole ante-natal ward on 28th at 7am to confirm all is well and get details of what I need to do etc.

My MW said if I didn’t go into labour before next Tuesday I was to text her so she could get me in again for another sweep and then another on the Thursday if still nothing. Technically, this is one extra sweep than I should have as they normally only do 3 but she wasn’t counting the one at the hospital (as it didn’t do anything) and she wants to give me the best possible chance before the induction.

The sweep itself was a little less uncomfortable than last time and, compared to baby’s movements at the moment which are like someone scratching away at me from the inside with a knitting needle, was a walk in the park!

So still we wait! And bounce! And wait!

I’m very emotional today. Burst into tears this morning because I couldn’t find my knickers! Its a sorry state of affairs when a girl cries over knickers! Then, because I was grumpy and miserable, this affected Callum’s lovely mood and he became emotional too. I felt awful that by the time we got to nursery we were both in tears! I hate it when my moods affect his, especially when he started the morning so well.

Callum is being very sweet at the moment with this morning getting straight up and cleaning his teeth, bringing his clothes to me to get dressed and then making himself his own breakfast. He is so proud of himself. Then yesterday, he went down and made me breakfast in bed of cold dry toast (its the thought that counts!), the day before he cleaned his teeth and got himself dressed in his favourite attire of his England football kit! I hope this keeps up when the baby does arrive but doing all this and being so good then me being all grumpy with him makes me feel so bad and guilty. Rotten Mummy – I need to try and make it up to him tonight!

Finally, I just feel the need to log my weight gain before I have the baby. Amazingly, I’ve still put on less than 2 stone this pregnancy! 1 stone, 10 lb (probably 11 now as weighed a couple of days ago). That feels like an achievable weight to lose after I’ve had the baby!

Preparing the nest! 38 weeks, 2 days

Ahhhh, finally got here. Yesterday my maternity leave truly began. It was the first day with no Callum (nursery) and no work when I could finally give into those nesting urges!

Not sure how much I believe in nesting or that this is in fact nesting as I don't feel any more energised to get jobs done it is just trying to get anything done with a little person around is impossible. So, I've been waiting for this time (yesterday and today at least) to finally tackle things that have been irritating me as well as trying to squeeze in a bit of feet up time. I'll confess that the feet up time yesterday was enforced by my back screaming at me to stop but it feels so good to get the stuff done that I wanted to before baby arrives.

Yesterday was spent putting things back where they belong. This is what normally happens when Callum is with me.

• I pick up a toy car in the kitchen and return it to Callum's room
• I see some art bits in Callum's room that belong in the art box downstairs
• As I walk out bedroom with art stuff, Callum picks up the car I've just returned to his room & follows me driving it down the stairs
• I return the art stuff to the art box, clear Callum's art table of the magazines & crappy free toys (about 3 toy cameras - can they really not be any more imaginative?) that have been sat there untouched for 3 weeks, throwing them in the bin/recycling.
• Cries from Callum: "they're mine!"
• I agree he can choose 1 free camera to keep and choose the magazine that has the most activities still to do
• I leave him looking at the magazine holding tightly onto the camera, car discarded in the dining room
• I walk into lounge & tidy sofa cushions putting throw cushions back on the sofa
• Callum walks into lounge, leaving magazine on thebart table in dining room, drops camera toy on lounge floor and starts throwing himself on the sofas flinging throw cushions around!
• I walk into the kitchen & find he has retrieved the magazines & toy cameras from the bin & left them on the breakfast bar!

This continues throughout my attempt to tidy and how much have I actually achieved so far? It is a case of 2 steps forward 1 step back.

 

So it was amazing to be able to get so much done yesterday and is also surprising how quickly it builds up in little piles all over the house in different rooms. Unable to achieve anything usually, I choose instead to just gather the stuff together in little piles but it never really makes its way home! I even managed to sort the garage a little and move stuff to the loft out of the way (before you all panic that I've been up a ladder in my 'condition' our loft space is in the eaves of the third floor so just entails a little bit of crawling (good for baby's positioning!!). Also, the actual putting stuff in the loft had to be done today cos it was at that point yesterday that my back said "no more!".

 

Now today I did the loft bits & cleaned the oven but now I'm chilling with a cup of tea & enjoying the Olympics. What a great time to be on maternity leave. No need to endure the 'joys' of daytime tv which is enough to motivate anyone into doing chores, instead I want to sit & watch the Olympics.

 

I have a midwife appointment later and may pop into town briefly but then that's it!

 

Once these 2 days are over with I can say I'm ready! Any more days I get to rest are a bonus but I just wanted to have at least 2 days to myself.

 

I've actually had a rotten cold too & been feeling sorry for myself and a little worried that I may end up going into labour unable to breathe! Although was reassured reading old wives tails and anecdotal stories of how your body won't let you go into labour until the day you feel better. I've missed the full moon (last night) and judging how I feel today, I reckon I'll be over the cold tomorrow.

 

So watch this space!

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Floored! 37 weeks (full term)

Who the hell moved the floor so far away from my hands. I swear, either my legs have got longer or my arms have got shorter. And just to add insult to injury some cruel twisted unseen force is having a laugh at me making me drop everything. I just had to pick up about 20 pegs with my toes, and thank god my phone has a protective cover on it as it spends more time on the floor than in my hand! I'll pick one thing up that I just dropped and drop the other thing I was previously still holding!

Then of course there is Callum. As fast as I tidy or pick things up off the floor he is trailing behind me dropping stuff or unloading more toys! I can't keep up & its killing me & my bump attempting too. I give up! As I speak, I'm trying not to twitch looking at the lego car that used to be which is currently still residing on the floor, discarded this morning by the little man himself! I just know that at some point in the not too distant future I'm going to tread on the retched thing and curse that I didn't pick it up but my bump just can't face another squeeze!

In my next superhuman life I'll be sure to pick up the super power of telekenesis!

I could go on with my rant by telling you of the inconvenience of appliances being below waist height, such as the washing machine & dishwasher, but I remember doing that last pregnancy so I won't bore you with the repetition!

Anyway, in other news, I had my last scan today. All was well with the growth of the baby, blood pressure was fine and I've been discharged by the consultant to the care of the midwife. So being as today baby is full term at 37 weeks, I'm technically all set to go. Except my mind hasn't accepted that this baby has to come out yet and I feel like this pregnancy can just keep going...forever...maybe!

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I'm still here!!! 36 weeks, 5 days

So this is the most pregnant I've ever been! 36+3 came and went with waters remaining intact! We had visitors (again, like last time) so I'm glad history didn't repeat itself. To top it all off, the summer has finally arrived too!

I'm getting bored of saying my back hurts, now, it is pretty much from the moment I get up until the moment I go to bed but I've learnt to live with it. However, that aside, I'm feeling pretty good. I'm lucky that I don't suffer too much with the heat as long as I don't do too much and I keep my pace at snail miles an hour. It's all about keeping cool really and drinking lots of fluid.

I'm trying really hard to take things easier even when it goes against every grain in my body. For example, I was a good girl today and refrained from mowing the lawn, instead I enlisted the help of my nephew, helping him out with a spot of pocket money too.

I'm on better track for being more prepared for baby arriving now as well. I bit the bullet and bought a few outstanding bits today. For the pushchair, the zip on the cosy toe has broken & I can't find the 5 point harness. I rang Maclaren & the harness will be £45 and the cosy toe £35. Yeah, that's not going to happen. I instead bought a generic cosy toe from Mothercare in the sale for £14.50 and must have another thorough look for the harness. I bought a bouncy chair from Mothercare too. Just their cheapest one as i remember my NCT friends rated its super bounce and I'm really not fussed by all the added vibrate features etc. the bounce is what's important for me. I purchased Mothercare's version of the Buggy Board, the Hop N. Before my Mothercare trip, I ventured in to boots to get newborn bottle teats and the milk starter pack that you can get...just in case breast feeding goes to pot from the off. It just takes the pressure off a bit. They are great packs, 6 little sterile bottles of ready made milk.

While on the subject of Boots, they have these mini super-cute trolleys which I assume are solely for kiddiewinks so Callum was thrilled to be able to help me put things into the trolly & pushing it around for me, then scanning it through the check outs. So sweet!

Think that leaves me with the sling, which a friend is selling me second hand, and a playmat. Whoop! Oh and the change mat. I've struggled with that one as I wanted one with butterflies on to match the nursery theme but amazingly have been unable to find one. However, a colleague at work came up with the excellent idea of getting a plain one and decorating it with stickers. So now I'm looking for a completely plain pink or white one and some suitable butterfly stickers.

The nursery should be being finished on weekend of 4 August when my dad does the coving and I can put the wall bits up. Hopefully we can get the last of Callum's bedroom furniture built too either this or next weekend.

It's my last 2 days at work this week and my social plans are being kept to an absolute minimum so hoping I can start getting the final bits done and start relaxing!

So still not 'ready' for baby to arrive but getting there so bring on full term, bring on due date, I'm nearly ready for you but please, baby, stay in there a little longer as I so desperately want some feet up time too!

And if you haven't already done so, don't forget to make your predictions on my earlier post, here.

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Time to love my baby bump - 33 weeks, 4 days

It's only taken 8 months but I'm finally happy with my pregnant body...when I have clothes on (still don't recognise myself naked!)...and as long as I'm not sat down!

I quite like the shape of my bump, it's position, it's size. I think stepping on the scales the other day then following it up with the growth scan has helped with that. This is all good timing cos I have a bump photo shoot booked for in 2 weeks. I need to start looking at examples of poses so I can go with some to try...if anyone has seen some nice ones that aren't the regular ones you always see, please let me know.

I'm geneally feeling pretty good. I still tire really easily, particularly by about 4 pm & I don't have to do much before my back & bump start to ache but I know if I listen to my body & rest, both of these symptoms improve.

I have a lot of preparation to do still, mentally & practically, and I am definitely not ready for this baby to arrive yet.

I still find it weird when overdue pregnant ladies start pulling out their hair in frustration waiting for their babies to start showing signs of their imminent arrival. I never got to this stage with Callum, I was still very much of the mind that the time was approaching too quickly & I wasn't ready. Pretty much the same as I feel now. It's hard to imagine the feeling of desperation for the baby to arrive & for that feeling to ever outweigh the fear & nervousness that the thought of birth & new born sleepless nights still evokes now. I'm sure I'll get there though & will laugh in that all knowing cynical way when I read this back at 42 weeks!

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Help, I'm not fat enough! - 33 weeks, 1 day

I had the first of two extra growth scans today which couldn't have come at a better time as, get this, today I was worried I had not put on enough weight!!! Yes, you read that right, not enough weight!! There's no pleasing some people is there!

Basically, I weighed myself at 28 weeks and had put on 1 stone 5 lb since finding out I was pregnant. At this stage I didn't know if this was good or bad but it is normal, from that point as I entered the third trimester, to put on an average of 1 lb a week until the birth. That'd put me at aproximately 2 stone 3 lb if I was to give birth on my due date.

I was then advised at my consultant appointment following that to start taking low dose aspirin once a day. I read somewhere that taking aspirin in your third trimester could lead to the baby not growing properly but as I'd also be having 2 growth scans, I knew if there were any issues they'd be picked up.

Then today I step on the scales again & find I've only put on a lb since 28 weeks! I was expecting 5 lb. so I was worried! My bump has only grown about a centimetre during that time too.

So I was quite nervous as I went in for the scan but quite quickly my fears were proved to be unfounded as the measurements in the scan were all shown to be in the normal range. They checked the fluid around the baby and again all was well. Liver appeared to be fine and the umbilical artery doing what it was supposed to do. More Good news, my bouncing on my exercise ball had paid off as baby was no longer oblique/transverse like she was at my last mw appointment but was nicely head down with her limbs all over to my right. Apparently, she will most likely stay there now although may flip from right to left...I'm pretty sure she has been flipping back and forth for most of the afternoon.

After the scan I went for my clinic appointment with the mw & consultant. The mw checked my blood pressure & the first reading was 142/86 which had jumped up quite a lot since my last appointment of 122/70, but she wasn't concerned & I knew I had been worried about the scan so knew that could be affecting it. Still, she took it again and it was fractionally lower a 136/84. She told me that my urine sample was being sent off as it did show there were a few white blood cells present which indicated the start of a urine infection. This made sense as I had been feeling some sharp pains in my bladder area of late & suspected this was the cause. She said there was also a little bit of glucose but was a low reading so likely just that I'd had something sugary.

The consultant was rather lovely & reminded me of a better looking Hugh Grant a lot more confident than the last one I had seen, was professional, and came across very knowledgeable and understanding. He wasn't concerned about my blood pressure or any of the results. He made sure I was happy without any concerns. He said, because my high bp was quite a late onset last time that there was only a 5% chance of it happening again and, unless there was a clear symptom which indicated a risk or there was a worry at the next growth scan, they will not look to induce me...unless of course I go the other way & am so overdue that they induce me....which you just know is going to happen!!

I asked about what would happen if my waters broke early again. He said if it was before 35 weeks (so in the next couple of weeks...eek!) then it was normal that they would let me go a bit longer..until either I got to 35/36 weeks or labour came on automatically as it was more important that the baby got to near enough term/fully mature but if was after this time they would wait 24-36 hours to see of I progressed naturally before inducing me as then an infection would be a bigger risk. I guess this would still depend on bp and other symptoms.

So...pretty much, all good! Oh....and baby is still looking like a little girl so no sex change that we are aware of!

I can just be happy in the knowledge that I haven't put on as much weight this time so should hopefully lose it quicker after birth too...*shovels another mouthful of chocolate sundae into mouth*


I now have weekly midwife checks and another growth scan and consultant appointment in 4 weeks.

Pregnancy Puts Years on Your Body! 26 Weeks, 3 Days

I feel like an 80 year old! What has happened to me?

I mowed the front & back lawn & repotted a couple of plants today and can now hardly walk. Once I sit down, I need a hoist to get me up again and then standing straight from a sitting position takes a litre of oil on the joints!

Add that to the scatter brain and lack of memory! The moaning (like now!) and my lack of patience reminds me of those grannies on the bus or at the bus stop…watch out for “back in my day…” and “the youth of today….” comments!

I’m sure I’ve noticed another few grey hairs sneaking in. Hell, I’ve even dyed my hair purple today! (don’t worry its Plum not purple rinse…yet!)

I’m not going to even mention my bladder and bowel movements…oh, oops, I just have! Well, I’ll spare you from the details…

I’ve bleeding gums! (not sure that’s an symptom of old age but thought I’d throw it in there!)

Now…if I could get those meals on wheels and the home help now please, that’d be grand!

Can you believe I’ve still got another 14 weeks to go (maybe)….but then…shit! I’ve only got another 14 weeks to go! Ahhhhhhhhhh! Panic!!!!!!

Who’s That Funny Girl in That Mirror There? 25 Weeks

I’m really not liking my pregnant body at the moment! I know I should and I’m trying to but I look in the mirror, particularly at me naked, and I’m almost repulsed by what I see. That sounds strong I know but its my first and natural reaction.

I’m by no means svelte and I have lots of bumps in places I’d rather not have places – some are down to pregnancy but mostly they are down to my diet and lack of exercise (she says as she shovels another spoonful of Nutella into her gob!) but this isn’t just a vanity thing! I know, with a bit of hard work, I can fix that after baby!

Its that I don’t recognise my own body – its not me.

I don’t mind ‘so much’ when I’m clothed, although I don’t like looking at my bumpy self, but naked….shiver! My tummy looks funny, my bellybutton looks odd…I just look…wrong!

I have no issues at looking at anyone else naked or other naked bumps, in fact, I often think a pregnant naked lady is beautiful – so why don’t I like it on me?

I remember when my feet first started to swell when I was pregnant with Callum. No one else could notice the difference, they weren’t hugely swollen, but I looked down at my feet and they weren’t my feet. I gasped and said “These aren’t my feet – my feet look funny, they don’t look like my own”. Its weird! This is similar – I look at my body and its not my body!

Thankfully, the next day after giving birth, I looked at my feet and the swelling had already gone down and I recognised my feet again – it was then that I knew I wasn’t going mad (too late for that!) as now they looked perfectly fine again – in fact they looked like my feet but skinnier!

I was the same with my pregnant bump last time too, so it shouldn’t be a surprise. I had hoped that when Stuart bought me a photo shoot gift experience for my Birthday at about 6.5-7 months pregnant, that it would help me to change my view on my body and get me used to seeing myself in a different light. I am so pleased I got the photos done and definitely want to have some bump photos taken this time too. I can look at them and appreciate them as photos of a pregnant woman but when I think of them as me I still feel uncomfortable looking at them and don’t recognise them as my body.

There’s no solution to it I suppose – apart from to stop looking at myself in the mirror!

All things Pregnancy, 23 Weeks, 5 Days

Just a general pregnancy update from me.

It took a while into the second trimester but I’ve been feeling really well and much more like the normal me recently. So much so that I often get a little shock when I catch a glance of myself in the mirror or lay down in bed at night to see a protruding bump!

Then someone asked me how I was feeling on Saturday morning so I said, truthfully, that I was feeling good and would be happy if I could stay feeling like this for the remainder of the pregnancy. Why did I say that? I clearly jinxed myself! By the end of the day I felt like I’d morphed into an old woman. It started lunchtime – I’d gone in my friend’s' car (we had our two friends and their children visiting for the night) to show her where the supermarket & pharmacy were. When we got back and I went to get out the car I got a shooting pain through my pelvis like I was all out of line. I couldn’t put any weight on my right leg without crying out in pain! I could hardly walk for a bit. Then every time I went to stand after sitting down for a while I could hardly stand straight and felt all stiff. By the end of the day I felt like I’d been doing a vigorous exercise class and it was the morning after!

I guess I need to take that as my warning to slow down! I’d spent 1.5 days spring cleaning that week and perhaps these aches and pains were a result of that!

I guess my pelvis is starting to move about now too – although I thought any significant moves would be later along in the pg in the third trimester! I guess not!

I have a few things on my mind at the moment relating to delivery. First one being the hospital we go to. I’m not feeling the confidence with Poole Hospital. If they’d allow tours or for me to see the labour ward, perhaps I’d feel a bit different but considering I wont ever even see the hospital until its time to give birth as my appointments are all held at Bournemouth Hospital (a lovely hospital but only a MW-led unit so no drugs!!! – of the type I’d be after anyway!), I’m really not liking what I’m hearing from other people about the place. I’ve heard it resembling a bunker on more than one occasion.

The other thing I’m not happy about in going there is that they don’t offer mobile epidurals. I really don’t want to be restricted to lying on my back for the duration of labour and have the joy of being fitted with a catheter which, from what I understand, means you are more likely to spend longer in hospital. I had a mobile epidural with Callum but, although I was pretty restricted to the bed because of being hooked up to bp monitors etc,, and although the top ups failed, I was able to wiggle around and go to the toilet if I wanted. I’d still rather have a mobile epidural where the top ups don’t work rather than a full on epidural that glues me to the bed unable to move.

Going by my last birth plan, I’m sure after saying all this, that will be exactly what happens despite my best intentions – I get glued to a bed on my back with a catheter – as labours and births are so unpredictable and so often does not go according to plan but the best I can do is make efforts in the right direction to getting the plan I want.

I did think that Poole or Bournemouth were my only options. However, I’ve since heard I could go to Salisbury!

So, I’m going to contact Salisbury hospital to discuss what options there are and, if they offer a tour, I’m going to take a look.

Salisbury is further away to travel than Poole – 30 mins opposed to 15-20 but its worth looking into!

I guess another thing that must be on my mind according to my dream last night is breastfeeding and getting baby to latch on…to both breasts!

Last time, Callum and I took until the last night/day in hospital (C was born on Tuesday & we left on Friday) until we both finally got it and we never really got the hang of my right boob as I have a slightly inverted/flat nipple! But I must remember i) it was my first time breastfeeding a baby; ii) Callum was early and it is common for early babies to struggle with latching on at first; and iii) I was too self-conscious to ask for help,. This time I’ll have the advantage of having done it before, I’m more determined to ask for help if I need it and go to support groups and, all things being well, this one might have a better chance of getting it from the off…! We wont know until we get there.

But there have been things I’ve learnt, from my own experience and that of others which I’m going to try. The support groups being one of them but also, to start using Linsinoh right from the start (it was my saviour last time when I discovered it and, a little secret for those that don’t know, its fantastic at protecting sore little bums at night with bad nappy rash!!!) and I will try Medela nipple shields on recommendation from a friend who also didn’t take to breastfeeding immediately and tried several brands.

Whoever said breastfeeding is natural is lying! I hate that saying as it makes you think that its easy and both your baby and your body will know instantly what to do without any assistance – often it is not that easy and requires patience, persistence and a high pain threshold to cope with the needle sharp pains in your nipples!!!

Which might make you wonder why I am bothering to try again – I know, it surprised me but I do think I stopped last time just as I was getting into the flow of it (pardon the pun) and, if I do manage to get this baby feeding off both boobs then I think it will be worth the effort and initial pain (that does get better) in the beginning!

Positives I did learn from last time were that I’m not going to wait for 6 weeks until my flow is established before expressing and bottle feeding – I do believe Callum never had a problem switching to bottle because he had both breast & bottle from the start. This is also what I understand from other people’s experiences too and those that solely breastfed (from breast) and didn’t use a bottle at all until much later often had a much more difficult transition period – some babies never mastering a bottle! I want Stuart to share in the feeding so I can have a break from time to time!

Finally, to end on a high, Stuart finally felt the baby move last night – woohooooooo! Kicks and wiggles are in full swing as I am typing now! I think I am calling her Wiggles or Wiggly while she is in the womb as that seems to be what comes to mind when I talk about her.

Dancing Shoes – 21 Weeks

I’m in need of a name for unborn baby girl bump. We have a name for when she is born but I don’t want to start calling her that yet while she is still growing inside me. Can’t really explain why but it doesn’t seem right to yet. So I need another name. A girly name.

With Callum we called him Flump (hense the url for this blog) but I soon went off it and so I’ve been hesitant to name this one this time.

The closest I’ve come so far is Bubba girl but its a bit of a mouthful and still doesn’t feel quite right.

Anyway, moving on.

Bubba girl (will do for the time being) has moved up a tad and is starting to kick a bit stronger now – actually, less like kicking and more like dancing. I am surprised to say this but I’m really quite enjoying them…more than last time. And as if on cue…there she goes with her dancing between my pelivs & bellybutton. I get excited when I feel her. I’m pretty sure I was more matter-of-fact about it last time.

They are more like actual movements than just flutters now. She also continues to bounce on my bladder like a trampoline at times so I have to be careful not to let it get too full.

However, you still can’t feel it really from the outside. Stuart still hasn’t felt it. I’m pretty sure it wont be long….especially when I’m laying in bed at night.

Still in Denial - 19 Weeks, 6 Days

The time is really starting to fly now, at last. However I’m still in an element of denial. Even with the baby now moving regularly – getting stronger but still not noticeable externally (i.e. Stuart can’t feel it) – I still don’t quite believe I’m pregnant. I guess more so now that I’ve finally got my energy back and I feel much more like me…apart from my inability to bend in the middle! Didn’t like that other body invader that brought with it the bouts of the blues…the sickness I could just about cope with but feeling down really isn’t me!

My bump is sprouting rapidly but I look in the mirror and don’t recognise myself. Sometimes my bump is hard and looks every bit the baby bump it is but other times (I guess when baby sits back a bit) it is soft again and I still look oddly fat – oddly as in I’m a weird shape for an overweight person with all the weight up front.

I was pleased though when someone took the plunge today and chanced saying “and I see another one is on he way”. Must have been looking more bumpy than a tubby odd ball!

Maybe after Thursday it will feel a bit more real! We have our 20 week scan. I’m a little nervous to tell you the truth – primarily, as always, about whether everything is ok but also because we hope to find out the sex. I don’t know why this makes me nervous.

Having just done my dowsing crystal to try to predict sex of the baby it started off saying boy to begin with with a gentle sway but then turned strongly to a girl. I guess we shall have to wait and see…

Callum is still being cute where the baby is concerned. Lots of “Hello Baby” and kisses and cuddles. He actually says “I want to cuddle the baby”. He has also started a cheeky way of trying to stretch out bedtime and get a repeat of his bedtime story. When calls of “again” aren’t successful he says “baby read it”. How can I refuse? It makes for a boring story, however, as you have to listen very very carefully to hear baby read it – I basically turn the pages in front of my bump without saying anything.

He he – cruel mummy!

Monkeymoo, Wigglywoo & Fattybumbum–16 Weeks, 4 Days

So, Monkeymoo is Callum. Just a quick update really as I’m pleased to say, there’s not much to report…which is good news where Callum’s concerned! After the strained times of not so long ago when he really was being a little monkey (can think of a few other words for his behaviour too but I’ll refrain), I can safely say he is back to his usual good self with just the occasional monkey behaviour.

He is still swimming and loving it. I’m noticing small improvements each week – not ground breaking but all going in the right direction. He is great underwater but still not very good at propelling himself forward.

We’ve had a couple of lovely days on the beach now that we are starting to get a few more sunny days. Even when it was only 4 degrees the other week we were on the beach enjoying the sunshine making sandcastles!

Wigglywoo – that’d be the belly invader! I had my 16 week midwife appointment on Friday. I’m pleased to report my blood pressure was normal. So delighted about that as that was one of my ‘issues’ when pregnant with Callum and why I was induced rather than allow me to progress naturally when my waters broke at 36 weeks. Also, we got to hear the heartbeat – and it kept having a wiggle while listening. Unfortunately, this doesn’t mean I’m feeling movements yet. The MW kept asking if I felt it as it wiggled but I didn’t feel a thing.

I had a list of questions to ask her but it was a mental list so some of them were forgot but I did get most of them in.

I asked if she knew of any antenatal refresher classes. We have enquired with the NCT as they have a refresher course on 21 July but being as it is only 3.5 weeks before my due date, which was when Callum arrived, I’m a bit nervous about booking it if we are unlikely to get our money back if it happens again and we don’t get to go.

She wasn’t confident but she gave me the details of a lady that runs the normal antenatal classes.

I think we’ll probably end up chancing the NCT course.

I then asked her about antenatal (or is it prenatal, I get confused) pilates and she wasn’t aware or any – just lots of exercise classes for post birth which I knew about.

Next was the birth plan stuff, I know its a bit early but its on my mind. Despite the circumstances of Callum’s birth, with waters breaking early and my BP being high resulting in me being induced, there were elements I would like to repeat if necessary this time round.

I was induced with the syntocin (?) drip rather than the pessary induction method. I’ve heard lots of bad stories of people being induced several times and it not ‘taking’ or them being in labour for days. Considering my labour was less than 9 hours from induction starting to birth, I was keen to go straight to that method and asked about the likelihood of that being possible but unfortunately it is down to the circumstances and how dilated I’d be.

I am aware that not all hospitals do mobile epidurals, which is what I had with Callum (not that I could move anywhere as I was hooked up to the heart-rate monitor) so asked if they did them at Poole. Answer was no, they do continuous epidurals which is a constant drip which is kept topped  up. You can wiggle but you are isolated to the bed and can’t pop to the loo. This would mean a catheter, which I didn’t need last time. This, for me, is really disappointing.

Finally, I enquired about whether they do tours of the maternity ward at the hospital or would there be an opportunity to see it – again a negative answer. They don’t do tours anymore because they were too busy. Another blow!

They really seem quite backward here in comparison to the Royal Surrey, and the services offered in Godalming/Guildford.

So that’s the wigglywoo knews and a bit of the me – the Fattybumbum. Not only for my mothers pleasant compliments about how I’m carrying this pregnancy around my bum/hips and how huge my bum is (not that I’m hung up about that or anything)…but also because, within the last couple of days I appear to have sprouted somewhat!

Here is a photo taken a couple of days ago and then one today…

Obviously, there are factors like angle of photo, the second taken just after dinner, the top vs dress etc but even still – it certainly looks like it’s ‘popped’.

And finally, for my big news…I have a job! I’m about to start working 2 days a week working for  Stuart’s company writing training guides and other stuff. Whoop! The first steps to rediscovering me!

Rainy Days & Mondays

(I wrote this a few weeks back but didn’t feel brave enough to post – have since talked things over with Stuart and family so feeling brave enough to post it)

Not been feeling too ‘bright’ recently – winter is really getting me down. I’ve never been a fan of winter and by this time of year it feels too long already. Its not unusual for me to feel down when the grey days start to mount up but this is different. I am wondering whether the hormone mania that is pregnancy heightens these feelings so making me more likely to suffer with SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). I’ve never been diagnosed with this and I don’t want to make light of the condition but I’m finding things really hard just now and can’t put any other label to it – and I don’t just think it is pregnancy hormones alone.

Its true that Callum has been a completely monkey (sod!) recently. Doing naughty things that he wouldn’t normally even consider and even when he isn’t being naughty he is being hard work – so that obviously isn’t helping. But the question is, is he contributing to me being down or is my being down contributing to his naughtiness?

I don’t think it is actual ante-natal depression. Friends that have had ante-natal depression describe it as worse than what I am feeling. I tried to think back to the last time I felt this down over winter and it was the last time I was pregnant.

So how am I feeling? I don’t want to get up in the morning, I could quite easily stay in bed all day. The thought of going downstairs and seeing the lounge in a mess and the dishes from last night still in the kitchen. I know I should be doing these jobs before I go to bed if I dread it so much but when I sit down in the evening I’m knackered and don’t want to do another thing – just chill! When I decide I want to go to bed I want to go straight away! Even if I continue to watch tv in bed. I feel so lazy but that’s just what I’m like in the evenings – I’ve always been a morning rather than evening person…usually.

When I do get up, I take my time to get showered and dressed but once I am I get on with the jobs I have to do – tidying, washing up, laundry etc.

If the day is miserable, I could quite easily go back to bed but I’ve got Callum to look after. I don’t want to go out in the damp and cold miserable day. Nothing I can think of to do feels me with any enthusiasm. If I plan things to do then I get up and do them but I would always rather be at home. Normally, being inside all the time would give me cabin fever but not at the moment – I’d be quite happy there! That’s not always possible with Callum or fair on him so I do try to make myself do something even if it just walk to the supermarket.

I’m moaning all the time – Stuart will tell you. I’m a miserable cow! I’ve not got enough to be this miserable about. I’m having a baby, I’m moving to a lovely new house – things are good, so why am I this miserable? I want to shake myself and tell myself to pull it together, there are so many people out there that are having it hard, I don’t have a right to be miserable but I can’t help it.

If the day is sunny, I have a little more spark and want to get outside before it disappears but then when I am out I’m almost in a panic that it is about to disappear and start feeling miserable again…and inevitably the sun does disappear.

I’m willing it to be spring again. My only joy at the moment is the days are starting to get lighter earlier.

Its not even been a bad winter – it has been incredibly mild. Admittedly, we are going through a cold spot now but I can’t really complain about the rest of the winter.

I keep looking at the weather report willing for it to be warmer and nice – we are only in February, a long way from any warmth or feelings of spring! Can I sleep/hibernate through the next couple of months please?

Baby Bump or Food Baby? 10 Weeks, 3 Days

I’m at that stage now, in pregnancy, where it is difficult to tell whether my bump is baby or fat!
After eating a meal, to me, it definitely looks like baby bump protruding out and it does go quite hard but when squeezed over the top of my jeans or I’ll wobble it up and down, it most definitely looks and feels flabby!
However, treading on the scales…and we all know the scales don’t lie!!!….I’m still pretty much the same weight as when I fell pregnant – I’ve fluctuated within the lb during that time but that’s all.
Still, with my boobs and tummy both obviously growing its hard to believe its not because of all that extra chocolate I’m eating and the reduced exercise!
Here are a couple of photos for you to make up your own mind – side profile looks more baby bumpy, front on looks fat (especially those love handles!!). Oh. and that’s a pattern on my t-shirt, I haven’t been splattered by something grotesque!