Feeding Time at the Zoo!

Making & then the eating of dinner in our house is quite a stressful part of the day for me – it’s one of the reasons I took the BLW approach as puréeing and spoonfeeding, for me, would have added to that stress tenfold. But on days like today, the BLW approach isn’t much less stressful!

It’s not that I can’t cook or don’t enjoy it (as long as it’s savoury not dessert!), I can and I do but it is at that 4pm time when the “I’m hungry” cries, start ramping up a notch from Callum (Callum is always hungry!) and the “Mmmmmm, mmmmmmm” grunts start to get more insistent and my feet & legs get battered by Millie in the walker! It’s like she thinks, if she runs me over I might start cooking faster!

Most nights I cook for the children then eat later with Stuart but if Stuart is out/away I prefer to eat with the children to encourage them to eat & so I only have to cook one meal & get more of the evening to myself.

Tonight’s dinner time went a bit like this (with only some tiny elaborations):

4:00pm: Ooh got to get dinner on,  switch oven on & pull ingredients out of fridge

4:05pm: Notice the lemonade (which is laying down) is dripping as the lid hasn’t been done up tight enough by someone (again!), pull out salad draw and find a lemonade lake! Start drying up the lake.

4:10pm: Start preparing veg. I ask Callum if he wants to shell the peas – he says no & goes upstairs to play.

4:15pm: Remember that Millie is still napping & it’s gone past the dreaded 4pm cut off time which means she’ll not go to sleep until 1-1.5 hours after her bedtime (how do those maths work?)

4:16pm: Crash! Something has broken upstairs – I suspect the tea set.

4.18pm: I can confirm it was the tea set! The one from when I was a little girl that I gave Callum to play with. Fortunately, it’s not the first time parts of it have flown across the room (either accidentally as this time was or on purpose as happened when I first entrusted him with it!) so I’m a little less heartbroken than I would’ve been. I gather up the broken bits & put to one side to attempt to glue later.

4:23pm: Get Millie out of bed (bedtime is going to be hell!)

4:25pm: Feed Millie & put her down next to lots of toys

4:30pm: Get back to cooking dinner

4:34pm: Grunts & cries from Millie – I move her to her walker

4:36pm: I get back to cooking dinner

4:45pm: Grunts & cries from Millie – I move her to her booster seat in the kitchen with me.

4:55pm: Millie has kept up some grunts but less insistent but now, every time I move a piece of food she stretches out her arm to reach for it & grunts.

5:08pm: Dish up dinner & sit down to eat. Let out a big sigh but admire my lovely looking dinner of pork fillet medallions with a cheesey mushroom sauce, hasselback potatoes and Chantilly carrots (plus home-grown peas for the kids).

5:12pm: Pick up a carrot from floor

5:13pm: Pick up a fork

5:14pm: Pick up a piece of pork (this is not me with dyspraxia, this is Millie throwing stuff she doesn’t want – typical BLW behaviour)

5:15pm: I notice Millie is trying to use her fork properly & try to help her stab a piece of pork to keep her occupied so I can enjoy a bit of my dinner

5:16pm: Get Callum a different knife

5:17pm: Save the big piece of pork from flying across the kitchen & cut it up smaller.

5:18pm: Pick up a carrot, a potato and a piece of pork from the floor

5:20pm: Pour myself some wine!

5:23pm: Duck a piece of potato, get hit by a carrot

5:25pm: Get up to get Millie a drink

5:26pm: Scrape….crash! I was too slow to react as Millie pulled her plate across the breakfast bar, it falls to the floor & does not bounce (this time). They are square plates & two of the corners have flown to different sides of the kitchen.

5:27pm: I bend down to pick up the broken bits of plate & get pieces of pork rained down on me from Millie above accompanied by hysterical Millie giggles.

5:29: While clearing up plate & food mess there is a chorus of “I’ve finished my dinner & haven’t had puuuuudiiiiiing! I’ve finished my diiinner & haven’t had puuuuudiiiiiing!” from Callum. I politely beg ask Callum to be patient while I clean up the mess.

5:31pm: I notice the pool of meat juices around the bottom of the bin & have no idea how it got there. Assuming the bin bag has split, I now empty the bin to outside bin but find all is well with the bag. It’s a mystery! Callum pipes up again “I’m not talking to you, I’m singing to myself, [sings] Iiiiiiii’ve noooot had puuuuuddddiiiiiiiiing!” (I don’t even give them pudding every night!)

5:36pm: Get a fruit pot for Callum & a yogurt for Millie and wonder why I ever decided to eat dinner with the kids – I may have even got to taste it if I had eaten separately and neither of them appreciated it!

(my only elaboration was ducking the potato to get hit by a carrot! They went straight on the floor! Everything else was as it happened!)

(an hour & a half past Millie’s bedtime & I’ve just had to go into her to find her kneeling up in bed holding onto cot sides & waving at me – I can still hear her awake on the monitor)

On the verge

In 5 days time, Millie is going to be 6 months old.

She is changing so quickly. Its hard to believe that it wasn’t only yesterday that she was a real babe in arms with her head supported in the cradle position.

Now she is sitting up…although still toppling a little bit. She can sometimes stay sitting up playing for a good 5 minutes unsupported. She loves sitting up too – fighting it if you lay her down or put her in her bouncy chair.

Despite showing early signs in both rolling and sleeping through the night…neither have been regular occurrences. She has still only rolled front to back and only a handful of times. She swings her legs and arches her back so that she nearly rolls over, she looks like a contortionist.

Sleepwise, she ‘usually’ doesn’t need feeding after a dreamfeed at around 10pm but that doesn’t mean she sleeps through. She has taken to waking up around 3am every night. Sometimes just needing a dummy or a cuddle, but more often she struggles to settle back to sleep with the dummy, falls off to sleep with a cuddle but wakes again when placed back in the cot. I eventually end up feeding her but not before I’ve already been awake for an hour and I’m not convinced she is waking for the feed. She cries differently.

We are going to try without the dreamfeed tonight to see what happens. I’m happy to feed her when she wakes but I remember the dreamfeed not working for Callum and I know she has been able to go for long stretches before now without the dreamfeed so it might work. The thing with Millie (and I’m sure many a baby) is that everything seems to work for the first couple of times then her sleep pattern gets all messed up again, whether due to teething, a new development stage, stuffy nose or just because.

Speaking of development stages, her latest trick is the bashing movement. As its new (this week) I’m quite excited by this. She hasn’t got enough strength to be too loud or damaging yet but I imagine as her confidence grows the loudness will come with it.

She is really into faces and wanting to explore them with her hands and she likes playing with my hair…when she is meant to be trying to get back to sleep at 3am!!

She has good hand to mouth co-ordination now which is great in light of starting to wean her next week. I’ve been giving her a spoon to play with at meal times and she loves a good chomp on that. She has a great expression when we’re eating as if to say “OK, so where’s mine?”, looking at the food, looking at me, then looking at the food again. I know this is curiosity and she has no awareness of what ‘eating’ actually is but its a positive sign that she will enjoy exploring this funny food stuff next week. She ‘may’ already have sucked on a banana and an apple core…oops!

You know, I think development phase may actually be the key to her unsettled nights! She is on the verge of so many things – very nearly rolling, just learnt to sit up, about to start weaning, having more control of her arms etc. She is also looking like she is going to change her nap cycle too as her first nap of the day can just be 10 minutes sometimes.

I think there are exciting times just around the corner…and may be even a little bit of sleep!

Hoping!

I Feel the Need, the Need to Dreamfeed

When Callum was a baby, I had heard of dreamfeeding. It is when, just as you go to bed, you carefully pick up your baby while they are sleeping, feed them, then carefully put them back in their cot – the aim is for them to stay asleep (hence the name) throughout the process but the dreamfeed gives them a little boost in the hope that they sleep through or at least sleep longer.

It had been very successful for many of my parent friends so I was eager to try it.

I’m not sure exactly when we started dreamfeeding Callum but I know by looking back through this blog that we were by the time he was 10 weeks. We then kept it up until just before he was 5 months old. What made us decide to stop was when I looked back at the sleep log I had kept since Callum was born, Callum was naturally doing OK on his own, gradually sleeping longer and longer in between feeds at night. Then from the time we introduced the dreamfeed, he started waking up more frequently – the time he would sleep between feeds was reduced.

The fourth night after we dropped the dreamfeed, Callum slept through the night for the first time from 7pm until 7.10am (after last feed at 6.30pm).

For this reason, I wasn’t in a hurry to try a dreamfeed with Millie unless I really felt she would benefit from it, and it would work!

Up until now, I didn’t feel it would be worth trying. Millie often woke around 10-10.30pm for a feed of her own accord (which is approximately when we would be doing the dreamfeed) and she would then sleep until 3-3.30am and then after 7am.

However, we were invited by our friends for dinner next weekend. My mum had agreed to babysit for both the kids but as my parents had spent a lot of time recently living out of a suitcase for various reasons they preferred that they looked after them at their own house rather than staying at ours. So for us, you would be forgiven in thinking, whoop whoop! A full night of sleep. Can you imagine?

BUT, with Millie still not sleeping through the night and could be up twice in one night, I worried for my Mum. I could tell she wasn’t revelling in the idea either and Mum thought Millie was sleeping through when she agreed.

Operation get Millie sleeping through began!

Millie woke at 10.30pm again one night but then slept through until 7am. I suggested to Stuart we try feeding her at about 10/10.30pm every night now whether she woke or not – so dreamfeeding if she didn’t wake on her own. She may fully well do it on her own every night but her nightfeeds are so changeable that we couldn’t rely on that and with the pressure of the night at my parent’s approaching, I wanted to take action to encourage her to do it again.

The first night Stuart successfully dreamfed her at 10pm. She then slept until 6.15am then happily nattering to herself until 6.45am. Clever girl – that’s what we like. So last night was the second night. We were watching a film which finished at 10.50pm so I fed her then. She stayed asleep throughout but then woke for her next feed at 3.30am. Boo, fail! I’m hoping it was just down to her having a dirty nappy.

I figure its worth continuing to try for this week, until we get this Saturday out the way and then make a decision as to whether we will continue it past then, depending on its success.

Tonight is a bit of a miss though as she has just woken for a feed at 9.30pm and she is a very stubborn young lady – she will only feed if she is hungry and there is no convincing her otherwise! This 9.30pm feed will have to be her last one until she wakes again during the night (if she does). Fingers crossed she’ll sleep until 7.

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A little thought to finish on – despite all this effort to get her to sleep through, after some tragic news on Twitter and in the Blogging World this weekend, part of me welcomes her waking in the night for another cuddle & reassurance. My thoughts are with the family that wont have that opportunity tonight.

My Babies–General Update

 

Callum

I’m going to start with Callum as I’m just so excited to tell you about his swimming. I’m so very proud of him. He is moving up from Pre-School Level 2 swimming to Pre-School Level 3. He has got a certificate and his very first swimming badge!

To achieve this award, Callum had to be able to do the following:

• Jump unaided but supervised into the water
• Submerge completely
• Rotate through 360 degrees either horizontally or vertically
• Show a mushroom or star float
• Travel 10 meters on the front or back without assistance
• Climb out of the water with assistance if needed
• Buoyancy aids may have been used during the completion of this award

To many this may not be anything special but to me it’s amazing.

My own memories of swimming lessons at school (age 7-11) were messing around playing ‘don’t touch the floor or the crocodiles will get you’; dodgy pink flowery (granny) swimming hats if you made the mistake of forgetting yours; and cheating for my 50 meter badge by walking on the bottom of the pool then splashing my leg up every once in a while. There was also the occasional visit to our local leisure centre on a Sunday with my parents where my dad tried to teach me to dive, starting with the pixie dive. I regret not putting more into my swimming as I’m really not a very strong swimmer and I don’t have a great deal of confidence. I can hold my own in the pool but my front crawl resembles a shark attack and the most lengths of a pool (which was about half the size of an olympic pool) I’ve managed is 24 and I was extremely proud of myself!!!

To put it into context as to what this certificate actually means to Callum’s swimming ability – he is a long way off being able to swim confidently without buoyancy aids, though he can do about 2-3 meters on his own but he has so much confidence in the water and I hope that in turn will be a benefit to his confidence overall when he starts school, being as he is usually show shy and intimidated in big groups of people.

Millie

Now for Millie’s turn!

Basically, she is still gorgeous! She hasn’t rolled much more, from front to back (finding the right time when she isn’t going to puke just after a bottle but still has enough energy before naptime is a challenge!) and she hasn’t mastered back to front yet but she is often really close. She loves her feet which hold her attention much longer than any toy. Her grab & hold is also improving.

But better than all of this is that we have had a couple of sleep throughs – well from about 10.30pm until 7am or 11.30pm until 7am or 6.30pm until 4.30am (although there was a dummy replacement). Its all definitely moving back in the right direction. We actually had about 4 consecutive nights of what I would call a sleep through (admittedly not 7-7 but where I got some good solid sleep) then she went back to waking every 4 hours again which was a killer. Having given me a taste of what she could do, she then took it away. But I put this down to her experimenting with how much milk she needed during the day to get through the night. At the same time as she was sleeping through, she naturally started going 4 hours between feeds during the day and started consuming more milk at each feed but then she reverted back to feeding every 3 hours. Then, the 2 previous nights (excluding last night) she had much better nights again with the 11.30pm to 7am being the night before last. Unfortunately, last night we were at a family party and stayed at a hotel so her sleep was all over the place but that’s the first time away from home since she has been out of the moses basket. She had to spend a large part of the night in her buggy in the corner of a room where there was (loudish) live singing taking place – in fact she was awake for 2 hours just staring around the inside of her buggy but she didn’t complain and didn’t want milk. Eventually when she just wasn’t going to sleep, I took her out for a little dance and for the relatives to all coo over her before putting her back in the pushchair at the end of the night just before we were leaving when she went straight back off to sleep! When we got back to the hotel, she didn’t settle well straight away and then woke after 4 hours. Hopefully, though, this was all down to the new environment and tonight will be much better again.

The forecast for the foreseeable future is wet, wet, wet.

Callum has been dry in the day (except the odd accident) for some time – probably about 18 months.

When we first moved to Bournemouth, which was shortly after we started potty training, Callum would get up in the night to go to the toilet and  a couple of times he had a dry pull-up by morning - but not consistently so I did not push it or attempt to take away the pull-up.

I’ve been advised and the information you find on Google is that it is not unusual for children of 6 to still be wet during the night and that they will naturally progress to dry nights on their own. It is best not to attempt to try to take away the pull-up until they have had several consecutive dry nights.

Because of this, I’ve ignored pressure from my mum to try to get him dry at night as I was confident he just wasn’t ready.

As time has gone on, Callum’s pull-up has got heavier and heavier and fills so much it leaks – meaning a change of bed sheets. This can happen 3 times in a week and is making keeping on top of washing impossible and I wondered if Callum was in fact just being lazy!

After all, my Mum, like lots of parents, had us all dry at night in a week after being potty trained! Surely, it was worth a try at least! I was already having to do the washing of sheets and was already up in the night for Millie – actually, was I mad? They could tag team!!

Anyway, I got prepared – I layered Callum’s bed with waterproof mattress protector, waterproof pad, bed sheet, another waterproof pad & 2 towels. I explained to Callum that he was going to go to bed without the pull-up that night. He was apprehensive but I explained we would go to the toilet just before bed and he was to go to the toilet if he needed it or hold until morning.

I checked him at 12.30am when I fed Millie and he was dry. Then again at 5.30am I suspected he was already wet. Sure enough, when he woke after 7 he was wet. He didn’t want to get out of bed and seemed embarrassed.

I told him not to worry, we could just try again the next night. When he did get up, he was up beat and said enthusiastically he would try again. Encouraged by this, I explained this time I would take him to the toilet when we went to bed (as in Stuart and I), which I did. He was still dry at that time.

By morning, he was wet again.

He went into Stuart while I was getting Millie up and said he wanted to wear pull-ups and didn’t want me putting him to bed anymore.

It broke my heart and I realised he really wasn’t ready. Normally, I always give these things at least a week and within 2-3 days he’s got whatever it is we are ‘training’. This time, I knew, if we tried again that night we would be putting too much pressure on him too soon.

So we are back in pull-ups but I am hopeful this little exercise has at least reminded Callum that the aim is to try for a dry pull-up rather than being lazy & going for a wee in his pull-up just because he can. At least this might stop me from having to make quite so many bed changes & sheet washes!

Its all about trial & error this parenting lark!

Comparing Chalk to Cheese? More Cheddar to Feta!

Despite repeating the mantra “every child is different” it is still natural, when you have more than one child, to compare! Are they more chilled? Do they sleep better? When did the first one sit up, roll over, crawl etc, and will this one be sooner or later?

You hear stories from friends, family, strangers in the street – “oh the second child is a lot more chilled than the first, they have to be”. “My John was a great sleeper but his little brother, Roger, had us up every night until the age of 20!!”.

So, yes, I’ve been doing my own little bit of comparing since Millie arrived!

Night-time Sleep

My memory of Callum was of the constant battle to get him to sleep through the night but waking up about every 1.5 to 2 hours at the start and every 3 to 4 hours near the end, eventually doing the much anticipated but felt illusive ‘sleep through’ at about 6 months! I considered this quite average. Not “my baby slept through at 6 weeks” wonderful but not “my child still wakes us up every night at aged 3” fear.

Millie, apart from the first few days where she was very ‘typical’ of a newborn, feeding all though the night and sleeping all through the day, it was very early on when she gave me a taste of sleep. Within the first couple of weeks she did a couple of 7 hour stints, then regularly slotted into a 6 hour sleep at night but once or twice going as long as 8 hours!

But that is no more – after playing around with formula versus breastmilk for a while (her and me) she has now slotted into a sleep about 8pm, wake for dummy about 11.30pm – feed between 1 and 2am then feed about 4am. I say “slotted into” like it is some sort of regular routine. She has done this for last 2 nights but still every night can be very different so I hesitate to say it is her ‘usual’ routine.

I will say, though, that she appeared to sleep much better when solely breastfed even when she was breastfed through the night but formula fed through the day I’m sure the 2nd 4am feed used to be more like 5am!

I sometimes wish she never granted me with that little taste – I’d probably feel much better about the wake ups now!

Day-time sleep

For Callum I remember holding him, rocking him, attempting to lay him in the cot, bending myself double so he thought he was still firmly held to me, managing to get him horizontal, gently starting to place him on the cot then “waaaaaaaaaaaaah” – screaming like I was placing him in a bath full of acid!

Trying to get him to sleep day or night on his own, self-soothing was laughable and reading back in my blog it appears I could spend a whole hour trying to get him off for a nap. But I also think I tried to push him into a fixed daytime sleep routine too soon. I still don’t have such a thing with Millie. With Millie, I’m all about the cues – the first yawn & grizzle she is straight up to bed whether she has been awake an hour or 2 hours, she leads the way and I place her down in her gro-bag (sleeping bag type thing) with her dummy in, place her muslin one side, her bunny comforter the other side, draw blinds & walk out the room. I may have to go into her once or twice to replace her dummy or muslin but it really is very little effort. If she is overtired due to missing the cues or trying to stretch her a little longer for whatever reason then I may have to hold her to sleep but even when this is the case, I can usually just get her to drowsy & place her down in her cot. With Callum, I never saw a cue until it was too late!

Feeding

Their feeding patterns appear to be quite similar. Both have hit a 2oz per feed max phase about the same 3 month point. Neither of them ever ‘big’ eaters. I don’t think we ever got Callum up to 8oz and he wasn’t a big scoffer though he would take a bottle nearly every time you offered it, just maybe not take very much. This means, if he had his last bottle a couple of hours ago but I was giving him another as part of his bedtime routine, he would take it. Millie – not a chance! If only half hour before her next feed she will refuse, pushing the teat out with her tongue and batting the bottle away with her hands. She will sleep then wake up at her proper feed time – the little madam!!!

Development

Despite Callum being born 3.5 weeks early, he was pretty strong at holding his neck up and Millie followed suit but, if anything was even stronger than Callum. Her legs constantly wanted to stand & she would throw herself back away from you with such force that you were scared she was going to throw herself out of your hands – you daren’t hold her with one arm/hand when she was upright.

Then very early on she blessed us with a smile, then shortly following a laugh. Her first roll from front to back was at 12 weeks – Callum was 6 months, 3 weeks before his first roll though was very early to sit at 5 months. We don’t know for Millie yet – its too early for sitting.

Of course, its still far too soon to tell how different their personalities are going to be and any further development milestones are unknown. But its exciting waiting to find out.

I think it is not so much that Millie is more chilled than Callum but when she hits the same or similar phases to Callum, I am more chilled about it & know things will take their own course there’s no use getting stressed about it. Apart from the milk consumption – I can’t help thinking if I could just get more milk into her during the day she’ll sleep better at night but – if my memory does serve me right it isn’t necessarily that one will naturally follow the other, I think the sleep came before the milk consumption for Callum.

It will be interesting to do another one of these posts in a couple of months time comparing the 6 months stage.

Callum & Millie both at aproximately 14 Weeks

 

Two sleeps beyond!

We have survived night two of Millie in her own room/cot. Much of it was the same but it somehow felt better.

After her anti-boob protest and just wanting a snuggle each time she woke the night before, I had decided to not offer to feed her unless she wouldn’t settle or ‘asked’ for it.

The night started very similar to the night before in that she went into her cot at about 7.30pm after her 7pm feed and finally drifted off about 9pm, though she did require a bit more ‘attention’ to get off to sleep than the night before.

Then we headed to bed at around 10.30-11pm but this time she didn’t wake…not until midnight!. So, I didn’t offer to feed her, I tried to settler her in her cot but she wasn’t having any of it so picked her up for a cuddle until she calmed and I put her back down. It didn’t take long, five minutes at the most.

Then, like the previous night, she woke at 2am and again just required a cuddle. As I put her in her cot again, her dummy fell out so I thought she need a bit more comforting but no, she was happy to continue to drift off without any trouble.

This was taking a familiar pattern so I expected the next 5.30 wake but this time she wasn’t settled by just a cuddle so I sat in the nursing chair and she nuzzled towards my boob so I offered it to her and she fed, hooray! No effort from me, completely her request.

I laid her back down in her cot and, after a couple of revisits to pop her dummy back in, she drifted back to sleep until 7.30pm. Unfortunately, my mind couldn’t stop thinking about the alarm due to go off in 3/4 hr so my morning pretty much started at the 5.30 mark but Millie woke happily chatting at 7.30am.

 

Minutes before she woke

This all means that she definitely doesn’t need feeding between 7pm and 5.30am so now we just need to get her to self-settle and continue to sleep through that period. Stuart thinks we should take away the dummy now to encourage her to depend on herself for getting back to sleep and not requiring us to get up to pop the dummy back in. This makes me nervous, but maybe he is right. I am pretty sure she’ll go for her fingers/thumb though. I’m on the side of anti-thumb sucking and pro dummy, as you may have worked out, so I’m not too keen on this but at least her h-Andes are on the end of her Armies (teehee, poor joke!) so she’ll be able to work out soon enough how to use them. She currently likes her muslin and I am trying to get her attached to her bunny comforter which helps. She snuggles them against her face and twiddles them with her hands so we may be lucky in that she just makes use of those sleeping tools.

In addition, we have Ewan the Dream Sheep that I have heard such good things about on order which may be another advantage on the ‘war on sleep’. Looking forward to testing it out when it arrives and I’ll be sure to report back!

In relation to sleep, I have also put Millie in her cot for actual ‘naps’ three times today. Only for 45 minutes to an hour for each (well the first two, she has only just gone down for the third) but I’m pleased at that for a start. The first she woke up happy, the second she was grizzly and really needed longer. Lets hope this third nap is successful and she wakes up happy again.

Y’know, I shouldn’t say this after all the effort we are going to to move Millie into her own room but I do miss her in our room – that space next to the bed where she used to big seems mighty big now!

She’s moved out!

Of our bedroom that is! We have taken the step of putting Millie to bed in her cot in her own bedroom! The first night of trying this was last night.

It started well, Stuart got both Callum & Millie ready for bed and then I sat in Millie’s room in the nursing chair and gave Millie her bottle. She was quite snoozy by the end of it so I was hopeful it wouldn’t be long until she was settled & asleep in her cot but she woke when I transferred her. Both Stuart and I hold Millie in our left arm which means we have to do a bit of a flip to put her in her cot at the correct end (away from the radiator!). But, despite her waking she was happy so we headed downstairs.

There, with the monitor set up and sat on the floor in front of us (so we could see it), my eyes were fixed on the little green flashy light that tells us she is still breathing, ironically holding my breath! I confess, I wasn’t desperately wanting to make sure she was breathing, I’m thankfully not overly neurotic and although I find it reassuring to see the flashing light, I am quite relaxed in thinking she will be ok. No, I was just willing the transfer to cot would work and that I wouldn’t be up and down the stairs a hundred times to settle her or spend the whole evening in her room. I had a glass of red waiting for me goddamnit! The flashing is slow & rhythmic if she is sleeping and gets quicker and erratic if she is awake. She was quiet but the light was erratic so I knew she wasn’t yet asleep.

She grizzled a couple of times which required us to go up and resettle her with little effort, then she was happily chirping for a bit and then there were a couple more occasions when she needed settling but she then drifted off by herself around 9pm (milk time was around 7.30pm).

The rest of the night wasn’t that great. Not AWFUL but not great. Stuart said it was the toughest night for him since she was born because he woke every time she did whereas normally he might only wake for the odd feed.

Millie stirred as we were going to bed just after 11pm. She refused booby and got a bit hysterical that I had the audacity to offer it to her. But she snuggled in my arms & returned to sleep so I put her back in her cot.

She work again at 2am and the same thing happened. Refused the boob but went back to sleep. Then she woke at 5.30 which wasn’t too bad. Still keeping up the anti-boob protest but again went back to sleep though with a little more effort this time. Finally, she stirred at 6.30am and finally took the boob but didn't really settle back to sleep in her cot and by this time I was shattered as each time I went to her I was awake for about half an hour so I took her into our bed. I was desperate for some sleep so Stuart held her in his arms while we both got a couple of hours more snooze (not sleep as there was a baby in the bed with us).

I reckon she woke up for food but couldn’t have been too hungry to go back to sleep so easily – perhaps she has been waking up more from habit than hunger?!

Now we are on night 2 and, although it wasn’t quite as easy to get her to settle into her cot, she still wasn’t too bad and went off again about the same time – 9pm. For the rest of the night, I don’t know what to expect or how to tackle it. If she wakes like she did last night, I will on first instance try to settle her again and not assume that she wants feeding first off. If she wont settle I guess I will still try to breastfeed her but I really think she is weaning herself off it (weaning sounds gradual, she is going for flat refusal). So looks like I wont be able to keep up the night time BF but instead will be moving to all bottle. I tried a couple of times to offer her the breast during the day (just to give me some comfort or to see what she would do) but she wasn’t having any of it!

I am optimistic, however, that this is the start of her going through the night. She obviously didn’t need the food to go so long without it and to still settle back to sleep so perhaps (big perhaps maybe) she will be sleeping through before we know it! Fingers crossed!

It could all go to pot though with her screaming house down for food meaning me going downstairs to get a bottle – I have bottles prepared and in the fridge, just in case.

Wish us luck. I know it is most likely that this anxiousness will only last a week, if that and we’ll have it sussed this time next week – I really hope so! I think it was 3 days with Callum.

Uh oh – 9.45pm and she is shouting (shouty cry that is). Ahhh, all settled again (damn that dummy!).

11 Week Update

So we have been a family of four for over 11 weeks already and the time has flown by!

Millie is so alert and is so easy to make smile. She is trying to laugh and chat back to you in her own little “agoo” way. I remember Callum’s babbling started exactly the same. She is really into her hanging toys on her play gym, giving then a good bash - although not interested in anything handheld like a rattle as of yet.

She is strong and is much happier to be left on her front, lifting her head up than her brother was, though she soon gets fed up and starts trying to swing her legs over. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was rolling before Christmas.

After some up and downs with the whole ‘to bottle feed or not to bottle feed’ dilema, we are now on bottle feeding in the day and breastfeeding at night & for the first feed of the morning. I am happy like this and would like to keep feeding this way for as long as possible. It suits us! It, of course, means I am solely responsible for all the night time feeds and can not spend a night away from Millie at the moment (I could of course express so someone else could do a night feed, but I wouldn’t want to at the moment – certainly not until we’ve been feeding like this for a few more weeks) but I’m happy with that and its not forever.

I am also incredibly proud of myself for achieving my breastfeeding goals – to feed longer than with Callum and to feed off both breasts not just the left. I am also proud have managed to maintain it this long. Its been hard work and there were so many times I wanted to pack it all in at the start but sheer bloody-mindedness kept me going on!

Now for the next challenge! Actually, I am staying pretty relaxed about it (most of the time) rather than thinking of it as a challenge. I’ve remembered the “they’ll do things in their own time” mantra. I have started to try to put Millie down awake so she soothes herself to sleep. It doesn’t work every time…in fact most of the time…but it does occasionally and soon there will be enough of a pattern to her days that we can get some clear routine in place for naps and we can introduce her to sleeping in her cot.

Its through all these stages that I really miss not having an NCT group like with Callum. I have some Mummy ‘friends’ on Twitter who have had babies around the same time and we do tend to ask one another questions but it isn’t the same as when all the mums and babes would meet up from week to week and discuss every inch of our child’s development & routine and compare (in a good way) to one another – not to mention the support everyone gave each other.

We had Millie’s first photoshoot session today. No idea how the photos will turn out. I had a number of outfits but only got a couple in one of my favourites and didn’t get to wear the last one as she started to have enough – not helped by the hiccups. She lasted a good half an hour though and there were some smiles. It will be good to see the results. Hopefully there’ll be at least one nice one anyway!

Callum is just starting to show a little resentment of Millie now. Not anything too obvious or anything nasty directed at Millie but his neediness of us is increasing. We are trying to encourage him to be self-sufficient. Stuff he has been able to do for ages but gets lazy and relies on us for, such as getting dressed himself, cleaning his teeth etc as well as ensuring he remembers his manners etc. He sometimes pushes back on these things for attention and to get some more one on one time with us. He often holds on to one of us for that little extra bit longer too and isn’t so willing to leave nursery at the end of the day. I’m trying to find some time to do things just for him, if Millie is sleeping in her moses basket, I’m trying to sit down with him and play. Unfortunately, these occasions aren’t often enough as we are frequently out and about, have company or Millie is in my arms but if the opportunity is there, I’m trying to take it. I was today also pointing out just how ‘boring’ Millie is at the moment because she can’t do anything & just eats milk and how much he can do because he is a ‘big boy’ and that he gets to eat nice things like chocolate. I think a little of it sank in. 

Despite this, he is still lovely with her. I can already see the protective big brother side of him, even with them being so small. If she cries he will take her bunny to her or pop her dummy back in her mouth. Then he got most upset today when Stuart kissed him goodbye but didn’t kiss Millie as he went into work.

I was looking at a photo of them together the other day and I just get this feeling they are going to be good friends when they are older.

Callum says he loves Millie and at nursery last week when talking about what makes them happy he said Millie. I don’t quite believe him and am not sure where that came from but it was very sweet.

I Am Six Weeks Old

I am now six weeks old!

I have been smiling for 3 weeks and smile at my family when they talk to me. I have also been known to smile at Mummy’s boob and the connector that holds my mobile attached to my cot!

I  like to stick out my tongue

I blow bubbles a lot (though not intentionally)

I made my Mummy sad when I started crying real tears

I make my Mummy very happy when I try to talk to her. At the moment it just comes out as “ohhhhh” and then gives me hiccups which I don’t like

I still sleep more than I am awake but I am much more interactive now when I’m awake and the periods I am awake are starting to get longer – but who doesn’t like to sleep all day?

I have lots of Cradle Cap all over the front of my head, forehead, eyebrows and on and behind my ears. I find it itchy so when I get cuddled I rub my head on people to make it stop itching (Mummy wants to know who invented such a silly word and challenges everyone who says they are not tempted to say a naughty word instead of cap)

My forehead appears to have grown quicker than my scalp/hair – I therefore now look bald at the front of my head. I also have a bald patch at the back.

My hair is getting fairer each day & Mummy suspects I’ll be blonde like my Daddy & Brother but swears she will dye it brown like hers & no one will know!

I have only had a few baths – I preferred the one in the sink to the ones in the big bath but I’m not a huge fan of this water thing!

I usually sleep for a 6-7 hour stretch at night which my Mummy said my brother didn’t do for several months – this makes me smile smugly at my big brother when Mummy isn’t looking

I can already swing my hips over when I see something I like – Mummy thinks I’ll be rolling before they know it. He he, watch out Callum’s toys, soon you’ll be mine!

Still in Denial - 19 Weeks, 6 Days

The time is really starting to fly now, at last. However I’m still in an element of denial. Even with the baby now moving regularly – getting stronger but still not noticeable externally (i.e. Stuart can’t feel it) – I still don’t quite believe I’m pregnant. I guess more so now that I’ve finally got my energy back and I feel much more like me…apart from my inability to bend in the middle! Didn’t like that other body invader that brought with it the bouts of the blues…the sickness I could just about cope with but feeling down really isn’t me!

My bump is sprouting rapidly but I look in the mirror and don’t recognise myself. Sometimes my bump is hard and looks every bit the baby bump it is but other times (I guess when baby sits back a bit) it is soft again and I still look oddly fat – oddly as in I’m a weird shape for an overweight person with all the weight up front.

I was pleased though when someone took the plunge today and chanced saying “and I see another one is on he way”. Must have been looking more bumpy than a tubby odd ball!

Maybe after Thursday it will feel a bit more real! We have our 20 week scan. I’m a little nervous to tell you the truth – primarily, as always, about whether everything is ok but also because we hope to find out the sex. I don’t know why this makes me nervous.

Having just done my dowsing crystal to try to predict sex of the baby it started off saying boy to begin with with a gentle sway but then turned strongly to a girl. I guess we shall have to wait and see…

Callum is still being cute where the baby is concerned. Lots of “Hello Baby” and kisses and cuddles. He actually says “I want to cuddle the baby”. He has also started a cheeky way of trying to stretch out bedtime and get a repeat of his bedtime story. When calls of “again” aren’t successful he says “baby read it”. How can I refuse? It makes for a boring story, however, as you have to listen very very carefully to hear baby read it – I basically turn the pages in front of my bump without saying anything.

He he – cruel mummy!