She’s moved out!

Of our bedroom that is! We have taken the step of putting Millie to bed in her cot in her own bedroom! The first night of trying this was last night.

It started well, Stuart got both Callum & Millie ready for bed and then I sat in Millie’s room in the nursing chair and gave Millie her bottle. She was quite snoozy by the end of it so I was hopeful it wouldn’t be long until she was settled & asleep in her cot but she woke when I transferred her. Both Stuart and I hold Millie in our left arm which means we have to do a bit of a flip to put her in her cot at the correct end (away from the radiator!). But, despite her waking she was happy so we headed downstairs.

There, with the monitor set up and sat on the floor in front of us (so we could see it), my eyes were fixed on the little green flashy light that tells us she is still breathing, ironically holding my breath! I confess, I wasn’t desperately wanting to make sure she was breathing, I’m thankfully not overly neurotic and although I find it reassuring to see the flashing light, I am quite relaxed in thinking she will be ok. No, I was just willing the transfer to cot would work and that I wouldn’t be up and down the stairs a hundred times to settle her or spend the whole evening in her room. I had a glass of red waiting for me goddamnit! The flashing is slow & rhythmic if she is sleeping and gets quicker and erratic if she is awake. She was quiet but the light was erratic so I knew she wasn’t yet asleep.

She grizzled a couple of times which required us to go up and resettle her with little effort, then she was happily chirping for a bit and then there were a couple more occasions when she needed settling but she then drifted off by herself around 9pm (milk time was around 7.30pm).

The rest of the night wasn’t that great. Not AWFUL but not great. Stuart said it was the toughest night for him since she was born because he woke every time she did whereas normally he might only wake for the odd feed.

Millie stirred as we were going to bed just after 11pm. She refused booby and got a bit hysterical that I had the audacity to offer it to her. But she snuggled in my arms & returned to sleep so I put her back in her cot.

She work again at 2am and the same thing happened. Refused the boob but went back to sleep. Then she woke at 5.30 which wasn’t too bad. Still keeping up the anti-boob protest but again went back to sleep though with a little more effort this time. Finally, she stirred at 6.30am and finally took the boob but didn't really settle back to sleep in her cot and by this time I was shattered as each time I went to her I was awake for about half an hour so I took her into our bed. I was desperate for some sleep so Stuart held her in his arms while we both got a couple of hours more snooze (not sleep as there was a baby in the bed with us).

I reckon she woke up for food but couldn’t have been too hungry to go back to sleep so easily – perhaps she has been waking up more from habit than hunger?!

Now we are on night 2 and, although it wasn’t quite as easy to get her to settle into her cot, she still wasn’t too bad and went off again about the same time – 9pm. For the rest of the night, I don’t know what to expect or how to tackle it. If she wakes like she did last night, I will on first instance try to settle her again and not assume that she wants feeding first off. If she wont settle I guess I will still try to breastfeed her but I really think she is weaning herself off it (weaning sounds gradual, she is going for flat refusal). So looks like I wont be able to keep up the night time BF but instead will be moving to all bottle. I tried a couple of times to offer her the breast during the day (just to give me some comfort or to see what she would do) but she wasn’t having any of it!

I am optimistic, however, that this is the start of her going through the night. She obviously didn’t need the food to go so long without it and to still settle back to sleep so perhaps (big perhaps maybe) she will be sleeping through before we know it! Fingers crossed!

It could all go to pot though with her screaming house down for food meaning me going downstairs to get a bottle – I have bottles prepared and in the fridge, just in case.

Wish us luck. I know it is most likely that this anxiousness will only last a week, if that and we’ll have it sussed this time next week – I really hope so! I think it was 3 days with Callum.

Uh oh – 9.45pm and she is shouting (shouty cry that is). Ahhh, all settled again (damn that dummy!).