5 months, 3 weeks, 1 day old

Well, Callum still has his nasty nappy rash and runny poo! It did seem to get better over the weekend but it took a turn for the worse again on Monday. So I took him to the doctors yesterday. She said it could be viral or could be teething, it was difficult to say. Not a lot you can do. The nappy rash will clear up when the diarrhoea goes away. In the meantime, all I can do is to keep trying different creams until I find one that seems to work (as well as the other stuff I'm already doing - cotton wool and water instead of wipes, nappy off time etc). She prescribed him one called Diapolene. 

The rash does seem to be getting better again, so hopefully it is working. He still has diarrhoea though so I don't know if it will just come back again.

Callum is loving his Jumperoo still. He was bouncing and laughing in it for ages today. So cute!

He has started doing a weird thing with his left leg. He keeps kind of kicking it back and forth to hit his heal against whatever he is sitting on. It looked a bit like he was doing the Riverdance in the bath. I took a video of it but it isn't decent enough for here - don't want to be showing his rudey bits to the world! It is strange that it is just his left leg, he keeps his other leg pretty much still. He does it in his bouncy chair and car seat too. Very odd!

Development wise, he isn't noticeably doing a lot but he does seem to be concentrating more on controlling his hands to grab and pick up things. He loves to stroke and hold my hair. He does it so carefully and doesn't often pull it. He likes to eat it too. Is it wrong to get him a fake hair piece just to play with? He might get hairballs!!!

We have decided on a date when we are going to start weaning. It will be nice of both Stuart and I can be there when we start. The weekend 2 weeks after his 6 month Birthday (as advised by the HV) is 14 & 15 March but we are away and think it is best to be at home, so, 21 & 22 it is. Now we need to get a high chair (though not compulsory at this stage), bowls, messy mats, beaker cups (Mum has bought him one but we probably need more than one and we wont be able to pick up the one they have until the following week). Best get on with finishing my BLW book too.

Can't believe it is Callum's 6 month Birthday next week. 6 months always seemed like this milestone that was miles away and it is strange to think that it is nearly here. 

Best not to mention sleep at the moment!

5 Months, 2 weeks, 1 day

Weight - 8.5lb to go :o)

My poor little sausage! He has such a sore bum! For the last 5ish days he has had snotty nappies and really bad nappy rash. I know these are all signs of teething but he seems very happy in himself apart from when I change his nappy or when he poos in the middle of the night. 

I'm plastering on the Sudocrem. After my sister's advice, I've gone back to cotton wool and water to clean his bottom. I'm giving him about an hour's nappy off time in the evening. I actually called the Health Visitor (HV) today as it looks red raw and I feel like I'm abusing him every time I change his nappy as he cries so much and looks at me as if to say "Why are you hurting me like this mummy?". Heartbreaking! Anyway, HV wasn't about so the Nursery Nurse (Lexi) got back to me. 

N.B. Really don't get what the Nursery Nurse is meant to do/know. I don't really know what she is qualified for etc. I thought Nursery Nurses just looked after kiddies at nurseries.

I told her everything I was doing and did mention that I'd bought some Metanium but, after two uses, was worried that it was making his bottom worse. She was saying I was doing all the right things but was surprised about the Metanium as it usually clears up nappy rash in 24 hours. She recommended that I give it another try and, if it still doesn't clear up after a few days, go to the doctor. Will have to see how we go. Will keep you updated! I know you love to hear details about Callum's bottom and nappies...!!!

My mental shake has helped as I'm feeling a lot more relaxed about the sleep issues. We have good days and bad days but even on the bad days I just seem to accept it. I guess this will change and I'll get frustrated with it again - probably around PMT time!!! Seems to be the common trend! The only reason why I miss being pregnant! But for the moment, I'm just taking each day as it comes and dealing with it.

I guess, what also helps, is that it sounds like all the other girls on my NCT group are now going through what I went through. Shame it hasn't all necessarily happened at the same time.

Finally, I've just heard a friend is pregnant (Yay!). Stuart (and then I) suspected it but didn't know for sure. I met with her for lunch with another friend and wasn't particular holding back on the real life of being a parent to a new baby (though I guess he isn't new anymore). My friend made a comment about scaring off my other friend (who we now know was pregnant at the time) and that she probably wasn't going to be in any hurry to have any kids. I did apologise but I don't feel too bad as I really think you should tell it how it is then it isn't a shock when it happens to them. No one tells you or really makes you understand just how tough it can be sometimes. I think it is important to know what you are getting into!!!!

5 months, 1 week

I feel like I'm on a constant emotional roller-coaster.

Still having sleeping issues. Was in tears again today as it took me 35 minutes to get Callum to go to sleep, only for him to sleep for just 30 minutes. He had been doing longer sleeps over the weekend (although still taking a while to get to sleep), usually an hour but he didn't have longer than 30 minutes today. 

It hasn't helped that I am really tired. For the last few nights, Callum has gone back to waking twice in the night too. Just when we thought the nights were improving! As I've said before, 1 step forward, 2 steps back!

I have gone right back to the beginning again (again!!!) with the getting him to sleep. I'm trying to keep the routine as similar as possible whether it is day or night. The only things I do differently at night is bath, massage and bottle. He isn't fed to sleep so the bottle doesn't really make a difference and it isn't practical to do the bath and massage for every sleep. Callum has stopped going down easily both during the day and at night now. I did think that I had tried 'going back to the beginning' before and it didn't work but I don't think I have done it properly. Before Christmas, when I got Callum to go to sleep in his cot, I got right down next to his cheek and shushed him. I had been shushing him but I hadn't got right down cheek to cheek - I didn't want my hair to be pulled. Today, I tried this twice and, both times, he went to sleep much quicker - 5-10 minutes, and I didn't get pulled hair either! Just a scratched face :o(. Anyway, I'm going to try this a few times and then phase it out again. I can but try. 

I've also given myself a mental shake as I know we are doing better than some people. Callum isn't rocked to sleep (though it was heading back that way) anymore, he sleeps in his cot (even if only for 30 minutes), he no longer has a dummy, he isn't fed to sleep (i.e., he doesn't go to sleep on the bottle), he does usually sleep from 7 'til 7 even if he does wake up - also, he goes straight back to sleep after feeding during the night. I have to remember these positive things instead of dwelling on the negatives but it is hard. 

I had a little break from Callum on Saturday when Stuart looked after him while I went shopping for a few hours but it has been hard these last few weeks, not having much of a break from him. Actually, we did go out on Friday night too. A friend babysat while we went for dinner. Still, I still feel very exhausted from it all. 

5 months, 1 day

Weight: 10lb to go :o)

Well, we had lots of snow Sunday night/Monday morning. Callum isn't in the slightest bit interested. No fun! I bet we wont have snow like this for years now. Typical when he is too young to enjoy it. Stuart has been working from home but its not an excuse not to get into work, he is actually working very hard at home so no fun playing in the snow with him either! Also means we have been pretty much housebound. It hasn't been safe to drive (downside to living at the top of the hill - at least its good in the rain), especially with Callum in the car - even without. Had a worry as my online shopping got cancelled (twice) and we were running out of formula but our neighbours saved the day as they risked a trip to the supermarket and just about survived (the did say it was scary and many cars had been abandoned on the hill as they failed to drive up it). I was intrigued to see if Callum thought more of it if I actually to

ok him out in it. Especially as I had seen a photo of a baby a couple of months older looking like he was enjoying himself. Unfortunately, I have no idea what Callum actually thought when I ventured out for a walk with him as he was facing away from me in the harness. I didn't here any giggles or coos so guess he was still unimpressed! Here is my attempt at a photo to see if he was enjoying it -as you can see, nonplussed! 

Well, we haven't had another complete sleep through the night. After the first night, he went back to waking between 2.30am and 3am, but that was it after his bedtime so I didn't mind that. However, last night he woke up at 4.50am so, I feel like that he is improving all the time and that another complete night is not far away. 

Daytime naps have gone back to what they were before last week's blip, with regards to length. Well, they are better anyway, if not perfect. He normally does 45mins to 1 hour now. Not 1.5-2 hours but it is better than 30 minutes. He can still take a bit of time to go down but you can't have everything can you? Was meant to go to Woking yesterday to get a blackout blind from John Lewis but couldn't go because of the snow! I think a blackout blind will help.

I'm taking Callum to London tomorrow (weather permitting) to introduce him to my old work colleagues (sorry I should say ex-colleagues not old colleagues ;o)). 

Now, I'm certainly not thinking of no. 2 yet, certainly not for another 3.5 years (I'm still keen on not having more until Callum is 4) but I am surprised at how my attitude to breastfeeding has changed. I really, really hate my boobs now - if you can call the saggy bags that are left boobs! But, despite that, when/if we have no.2, I would be keen to try to breastfeed for longer. This depends on whether I got no.2 to latch on properly to both breasts. There is no way I would want to do the expressing I did this time. So, assuming all went well and knowing what I now know, I would try to breastfeed for longer. This attitude change, really surprises me. I think it is the convenience thing. It wasn't a big deal when I was expressing to go completely to bottle as I was having to do the whole sterilising and making up bottles anyway, but if I didn't have to do this, I can completely see how beneficial it could be to keep up the breastfeeding. On the other side of the coin though, I think Callum adapted well to feeding from both the nipple and bottle because we introduced both early on. I know this is against recommendations but I think people have found it more difficult if they have introduced a bottle later on. With this in mind, I think I would still either express for the last feed of the day (also to give Stuart a chance of feeding Callum) or would give formula for just this feed. Especially as this is when breast milk tends to be in short supply - at the end of the day.

These are just thoughts though and we are a long way off no. 2 - so no getting any ideas (you know who you are....Mother-in-Law ;o) )

4 months, 4 weeks, 4 days

Weight: 12 lb to go (as of Tuesday/4 days ago) 

Exciting news today. Callum did it! He actually slept through the night!!!!

Lets go through the whole week though. It has been an emotional one for me. Monday didn't start too bad (was quite good considering the weekend). However, I had a dentist appointment (scary in itself but was just a quick check up so not too bad) and, just typical, Callum had decided he wanted a longer nap than his usual 45 minutes. I was taking him over the road so Lou could babysit for me while I was at my appointment. I left it until the last minute but still had to wake him up. I tried to take him over asleep so he could continue to sleep over the road but it didn't work. Little did I know at the time, that that would be the only long sleep he would go for. I can't help but wonder whether me waking him up caused the shorter naps for the rest of the week!

So, every day after that, he only did 30-45 minute naps each time and would wake up still tired and grumpy afterwards. Nothing I did could get him to go back off to sleep. I found myself counting the time down until bath then bedtime, which I hate. But it is so hard to deal with constant crying and clingyness. I think, what made matters worse, was when I was at a friends house on Thursday, he didn't want to go to sleep at all, being a new house and lots to take in. I ended up having to rock him in his car seat to go to sleep and then it was only for 30 minutes. By Friday, it was horrible. He wouldn't do any longer than 30 minutes and it was the 4th day of him being grumpy. For his luncthime nap, after he woke up after 30 minutes again, I ended up holding him in the rocking chair to get him off to sleep again before putting him down in his cot. Really bad but I just couldn't take another 2 hours of him crying and not wanting to play with anything. It was a short respite though as he had another 30 minutes for his next nap and woke up from that, just as grumpy as before. At least I only had an hour of it though before it was bathtime.

In addition to not sleeping for long, by Friday, he also wouldn't go down to sleep very easily and, on one occasion, it took me 30 minutes to get him to sleep and fell asleep through exhaustion rather than anything else.

So, daytime naps have been bad! However, on a positive side, bath and bedtime has been lots better. I give him his bath, then massage, and then I feed him his bottle, read a story or two then, if there is milk left, I offer it to him again. Then he goes in his cot, lullaby/lightshow on, light off, and that's it. He goes to sleep without another peep.

We decided during the week that we were going to try stopping the dreamfeed. I looked back at a couple months after he was born, before we started doing the dreamfeed, and he actually started going longer between feeds in the night. He would sometimes do up to 6 hours. Whereas now, he only did, on average 4 hours, sometimes 5 but often 3 hours. Also, it was the first sleep after we went to bed that he was starting to stretch out, where as we were disturbing this time and topping him up with milk. I can see how it works for others and definitely think, for some, it is worth doing, but it just wasn't working for us.

The first night of trying this, he woke up just before 12, then 4 and then 7, so not much better, then it was sometime before 10pm, then 3 then 7. Then he did from 6.30pm until 2.50am, so that was an 8 hour stretch!! Then last night, he had his milk at 6.30, going to bed at 7pm and then didn't wake until 7.10am :oD. I'm not expecting miracles at this point and fully expect it might be a one off but, at least now I know he can do it so I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Night times are getting sorted, just need to work on the daytimes now. But, this has given me renewed energy (easy to say when Stuart is home rather than being on my own) and has spurred me on.

A couple of days ago, I thought we were a long way off this and still felt like it might never happen, so, for those of you out there that still feel like this, it will happen, hang in there!

4 months, 3 weeks, 1 day

Weight: 13lb to go

Well, after my week of hardly going out to work out Callum's daytime sleeping pattern, I ended the week completely none the wiser. If he has a long nap (1.5-2 hours) it could be at any point during the day. The other naps still vary between 30 and 45 minutes. It is rare that he will have more than one long nap in a day (it is still occasional that he has one!). 

We had one of the worst nights since Callum was born last week. I think he was under the weather. He had a bit of a temperature but it wasn't clear what was wrong. The next day, I saw a lot of wax around his ear as if he had water in his ear that had come out and when I went to wipe it he cried out so I wonder whether he had water trapped that was hurting him.

Anyway, I was out for a meal with a couple of friends and, while I was gone, he had pretty much been fine. He woke for feeding around 10pm and then Stuart tried to dreamfeed him about 11.30pm. After his dreamfeed, though, he wouldn't settle back down. He just kept crying. Sometimes he would dose off, so I would get into bed, then 5 minutes later he was crying again. We tried giving him Calpol but he threw up everywhere so I then needed to change the bed cover and all his clothes. I tried feeding him again at 1am but he hardly had 1/2 oz. This continued until about 3.30am when I was soooo tired, I had to try and get some sleep so I took Callum into the spare room to try to get him to sleep with me. I did eventually, with him asleep in my arms. He would wake up and cry if I moved my arm from underneath him so I had to leave it there, which meant I didn't get much sleep myself. Plus he continued to wake up every 30 mins or so (I don't know exact times as I didn't have a clock). I tried feeding him again around 4am but, again, he only took 1/2 oz.  He then woke about 6.40am where I tried to feed him again and he took about 2-3oz. I then managed to get him back to sleep, despite him really wanting to get up, and we both had our best sleep until 9am. 

The next day, I think we were both feeling sorry for ourselves. I don't want another night like that in a hurry. I did try Calpol again at some point during the day the next day and, again, he threw it up along with the bottle of milk he had just eaten. Lesson learned - don't give Calpol after milk!

After that night/day he started to become harder to settle to sleep again. After getting him to go in his cot awake and get himself off to sleep, it felt like a big step backwards and was worse this time because he now refuses his dummy and his muslin didn't seem to be doing anything to comfort him. After taking 30 minutes (which compared to stories I've heard from other mothers, isn't much time in the grand scheme of things and he was still asleep by 7.15pm) I was really frustrated and upset as I could see us going back to rocking him/cuddling him to sleep. Thankfully, the next day was fine, and he went down really easily. I think it was just a blip. I think I just need to make sure he is tired and I'm not putting him down too early - which could be why he took so long to get to sleep when he took 30 minutes that night.

We went swimming with Callum for the second time on Saturday. The first time we only got to stay in the water for about 10 minutes as the pool wasn't supposed to be open (it was closed for lessons). We were in the water for about 30 minutes this time. I really expected him to like the water more and I was expecting him to be like he is in the bath but he seemed really non-plussed by the whole thing! I do want to keep taking him. They do a Waterbabies class at the Leisure Centre for children to gain confidence with being in the water. I want to try to go to that next week.

Callum is still trying to roll. He did have a break from trying for about a week but he has been trying quite hard again for the last couple of days. He is also trying hard to catch his feet. It is quite sweet to watch. He has grabbed them a couple of times but can't quite reach comfortably. Hard to believe he'll be putting his feet in his mouth before long!!

Not sure if I've mentioned this but we have been thinking about when we come to wean Callum. He is showing no interest in food at the moment and none of the signs that he is ready to be weaned so we are going to wait until the recommended 6 months. Then we want to try Baby-Led Weaning. This is where, rather than giving your baby purées and weaning slowly with one spoon of one type of fruit or veg for three days, then another for another three days, you actually give your baby finger food, usually at the same time you eat. So battons of carrot, sticks of brocolli, toast soldiers. They then feed themselves and get to eating proper meals a lot quicker. I've heard reports of people taking their 7 month child to a restaurant and him feeding himself. Apparently, it is very messy, but lots of fun! We shall see! The main risk to this type of weaning is if you have food allergies in your family, which neither of us do. 

The weaning guidelines used to be to wean from 4 months (3 months not long before that). You had to start on puréed food and then by 6 months you should be on to proper solids. Now, the guidelines recommend weaning from 6 months as the child is more likely to be able to sit unaided or comfortably with their head up in a high chair and can find their mouth, but they haven't updated the guidelines for the puréed food. However, the do say to introduce lumps and solids as soon as possible after 6 months.  

Anyway, I'm going to give it a go. You don't know until you try do you? I just have this romantic notion of preparing food and giving Callum bits of what I'm cooking and letting him munch away on them and munching on soldiers of toast and marmite.

I'm meeting someone I've met on the forum I chat on today who lives in the same area as me, which is quite exciting. Sounds silly saying I've met someone on the Internet, but it isn't like I've gone out to purposely meet someone and it would be silly to find someone in the same area to you with a baby at a similar age and not to meet for a coffee/tea. I'll let you know how it goes but she sounds lovely on the forum.

Tomorrow morning, Callum and I are going with some of the other post-natal mums to Mumbaba which is a singing/music group. Not really sure what to expect, but it might be fun...he he.

Think that about brings us up to date :o)

19 weeks

1 stone to go until pre-pregnancy weight (on 2 Jan when I started diet, I had 1st 6lb to go)

Well, we are still all over the place with sleep.

It still seems a bit adhoc whether Callum only wakes once in the night or wakes 2-3 times. I've thought of everything I am doing and whether I am doing anything different but I can't find a reason. Unfortunately, the waking before dreamfeed, then 2am, then between 5 and 6am seems to be the more common routine. 

It is so frustrating.

Tonight, rather than feeding Callum half his milk before his bath and then the other half after, I might just give it all to him after in the hope he wont wake up before his dreamfeed. I think this should work today, but not sure what I will do when he is crying with hunger just before bath time. 

Regarding sleeping in the day, I've dedicated this week to tackling it. I'm only going out if I have to (such as pilates today).  So far, so good. 

Monday, Callum slept for 1 hour then grizzled half asleep for 3o mins in the morning, then slept for 1.5 hours after lunch, and then had a 30 minute sleep in the afternoon. 

Today, he slept for 1.5 hours and woke up really happy. He didn't cry when he woke up, he was just talking to himself and jumped when I went up to get him. I then had to go to Pilates before his next nap, which was due while I was there. He went to sleep in his car seat right on cue and is stil asleep now 1.5 hours later. Would also like to add, he was very, very good while at Pilates, happy watching and playing and only starting to get grizzly when it got to sleep time. Even then, it was more like one groan, then he was asleep. 

Not sure what is going on with Callum's digestive system today...I've had to change 4 pooey nappies in a row, the last resulting in an outfit change! Oh my life is so glamourous!