I Want to Crash!

The other morning, Callum and I had a conversation while in the car, similar to one we’ve had many a time before, that went like this:

Me: “Can you stop talking to me for a minute I need to concentrate on driving”
Callum: “Why, Mummy?” completely ignoring my request!
Me: “I need to concentrate to make sure I don’t crash”
Callum: “Why don’t you want to crash?”
Me: [sigh] “because people could get hurt in a crash and then they’d need to go to hospital. It is also very expensive & costs lots of money if the cars get damaged”
Callum: “I want to crash”
Me: “We don’t want to crash because it could hurt lots”

I’m not adverse to talking while driving, unless I am doing something that needs more concentration like driving somewhere I’ve not been before or parking, at which point I politely ask my passenger(s) to pause a moment while I concentrate then let them carry on. But Callum, because of his hearing loss, asks me constant questions but can’t hear my reply so will keep repeating the question until he hears the answer. This then causes me to try to twist my head towards him so he can hear me better and I get exasperated at keep answering the same question 20 times. Not to mention the constant questions is quite a distraction from driving. The easiest thing is to ask him to ask me when we stop the car.

Anyway, on the same journey, just near home, the traffic had started to build up and I could see there was an ambulance and there had been an accident on the roundabout ahead. The same roundabout I had a bump on just before Christmas (Callum was at nursery). The next conversation went like this:

Callum: “Why aren’t we driving?”
Me: “Because there is a traffic jam – the cars ahead have stopped because there has been an accident. A crash!"
Callum: “Did they crash because someone was talking to them?”
Me: “Maybe, I don’t know”
Callum: “I can see the ambulance”
Me: “Yes, they might be hurt and going to the hospital”
Callum: “Can we ask them?”
Me: “Ask them what?”
Callum: “Can we go to the octipool (hospital) and ask them if someone was talking to them”
Me: “No they may be too poorly and need to rest”

For ease of reading, I’ve missed out the many “I can’t hear you mummy” etc and repeats of questions and answers.

Anyway – I just wondered if anyone else has had to tackle a similar issue and how have you prevented your children distracting you whilst you are driving?

I’m hoping the issue will get better when his hearing gets better but in the meantime, I want to ensure we drive safely. At the moment I just keep having the same conversations with him about not talking in the car and it doesn’t make the blindest bit of difference! He does not stop nattering and asking me questions! I’ve tried not answering him but, like I say, he just keeps repeating until he hears an answer getting louder and shouting.

Would love to hear your thoughts, experiences and possible solutions please.

Fasten Your Seatbelts, Hold On Tight – Birth Story Part II

Shortly after Louise, my second midwife Pawla arrived. I got the impression Pawla was the senior midwife and Louise the junior but both very capable and very lovely – I like lovely! Looking in my notes, I can confirm it says ST M next to Louise’s name so suggests that she was a student. She was very confident, I just thought she was newly qualified.

Firstly, I was hooked up to the monitors and my BP checked. BP was fine and, apart from the monitor being a pain not picking up enough of the heartbeat unless permanently held and then baby being mischievous kicking or moving away from the monitor, they managed keep track and everything was calm. At one point she suggested I might like to lay on my side – anything to get off my back! One thing I didn’t want was to be on my back, my labour pains were in my back so it was making them hurt more and I knew it was the worst position to be in. So, when she suggested this I jumped (well more of a slow painful shuffle) at the chance but when I went on my side, baby’s heart rate slowed so I had to turn back. Thankfully, it returned to normal when I went back so she just didn’t want to be on that side. I found this strange as that was the position I always found most comfy when laying down or sleeping.

I had originally said, and it was in my notes, that I had wanted to try the pool. I had also mentioned this when I rang the hospital from home but at no point was this mentioned. Admittedly, I didn’t bring it up either but assume it was because baby needed to be monitored and they wouldn’t have been able to do so if I was in the pool. Perhaps I still should have asked.

They examined me at 8.15am. I was 4-4.5cm dilated. I was mildly disappointed to not be further at this stage but pleased I was far enough along that I didn’t have to go for any walks considering I ‘faked’ my panting! Stuart was still recording my contractions at this point and they were now every 2 minutes and lasting over a minute.

From here it all gets a bit blurry. Contractions started to come thick and fast and they kept commenting how I wasn’t getting much break from them. Everytime I moved, it would also trigger another contraction. They kept trying to get me to have some gas & air but as it was I was keeping the sick bowl to hand and the last thing I wanted near me was something that was only going to make me feel more sick and not even for the benefit of taking the pain away.

Then they tried to get me to have pethidine because I was tensing up through each contraction. They said it would help to relax me. Pethidine was the one thing I said on my birth plan that I didn’t want as I was concerned about what got through to baby and baby being sleepy when born. The fact it can have an effect on feeding was also a reason too. I said as such but they said the number of babies that experienced this was so low and not something they had ever seen. Personally, I was worried about feeling out of control. I asked Stuart what he thought as I was having his baby too – he had a say in what drugs I took if they affected his baby. He left it up to me. In the end I gave in. Ouch, did the injection sting – it was in the thigh. It must’ve been ouchy to notice the pain even when in labour! They said it took about 15 minutes to take affect. In the meantime, I remember trying to relax more for each contraction hoping it would help – sometimes it did, sometimes it didn’t. I would shake my head from side to side and close my eyes to get through each contraction. I waited and waited for the pethidine to take affect then started to ask, when does the pain go away? “It doesn’t take the pain away” they then said….What? Hang on?  You convinced me to take a drug I didn’t want and it wont even take the pain away!!!! “It relaxes you and takes you away so you can deal with the pain better but the pain doesn’t go away!” Nooooooooooooo! Shortly after, I was begging for an epidural “Please make it stop, please take the pain away, please can I have an epidural”. They agreed I could have an epidural and said they would go and get the card thing for me to look at but they suspected I may even be ready to push and therefore it be too late. They wanted to examine me first. They asked if I felt the urge to push and I had to confess that I was getting it, yes.

Sometime around this point the room filled with doctors. I’ve no idea what they were doing there, I think they may have asked me questions I can’t remember. From my memory, I think there were about 6 extra people in the room but I really can’t be sure. It is all a bit of a blur and I have since asked Stuart and he isn’t sure either. He said they either came in because I wanted an epidural or because they were just doing the rounds.

Anyway, the MWs examined me! It was hell! Every time she felt a particular area, I had a really intense contraction. However, she confirmed, yes, I was fully dilated, it was now time to push and yes, definitely too late for an epidural – I was doing this the painful way, all the way!

I requested to go on all fours, I just needed to get off my back and as on my side wasn’t allowed (as it distressed baby) which was the best position for me with Callum, I asked to try all fours. They agreed and instantly, there was relief in my back. Clearly I was still in a lot of pain but it made the next bit more manageable otherwise I’m not sure I would have got through it (clearly I would’ve but that’s how I felt at the precise time). I felt my body pushing and there was very little I could do about it. According to my notes I started pushing at 9.20am. After a couple of pushes, they told me to pant and pant I did. I think it took a couple of contractions of panting for the head to come out and then another for the body. Again, instant relief. My head cleared, I caught my breath and I felt like a knew woman! Sort of!

I noticed she wasn’t crying instantly but I wasn’t worried. I could hear them talking to the baby in calm voices and welcoming her to the world so felt confident she was ok and pretty soon she let out a wail. My notes confirmed she had a little tactile stimulation before she cried. Apparently, she did have the cord around her neck but looped around the back not the front but it may have been this that was causing her heart rate to dip and perhaps she was compressing it when on my side.

I had requested that she be cleaned before being given to me for skin to skin, which they did and I was presented with my beautiful baby girl, Millie May born at 9.31am on Monday 20 July, weighing (which they did a little later) a perfect 7lb 11oz (or 3.48 kg). And she is absolutely perfect.

We were given some bonding tine for a while when Stuart also had some skin to skin time. We tried to breastfeed and it took a little while and a little help from the midwife but eventually she fed and for a good 20 minutes. During this time they bought me some tea and toast and Stuart and I scoffed jaffa cakes from my little used labouring hospital bag!

I was then allowed to shower and discharged straight from the delivery room a little around 12 so home in time for lunch! As we pulled up outside the house, ready to surprise my mum that we were home already, I joked that it was like we had just popped out to the shops to get a baby! I am sure that is what Callum thought too when we introduced him to his new baby sister!

Congratulations to ChelseaMamma for guessing  the correct date, Kilburina for correct weight and I get closest time!

Pop goes the Weasel – Birth Story Part I: 40 weeks, 5 days

Well, my last post appears to have done the trick as my beautiful little girl has arrived and here is how it happened! I’m a waffler so I’ll do it in instalments (nothing to do with adding drama and suspense, no I wouldn’t do that to you...).

After a lovely day celebrating Callum’s friend’s 4th birthday at her party followed by a chilled evening, I went to bed and slept really well until I needed a wee at 4.30am. No signs, twinges, I just went for a wee then back to bed. I had just started to enter the world of snooze again when I felt a pop in my bump like a mattress spring pinging back to place. I quickly prodded Stuart awake as I waited for the big gush of waters to come forth. Stuart stirred “Is something happening?”. But nothing, no big gush, no trickle of water, no contractions…perhaps I’d imagined it or perhaps just an enthusiastic kick from the little lady. I went to the loo again to see if my waters started to trickle…not really. I found myself standing in the ensuite over the security of the tiled floor too nervous to head back to bed in case the gush decided to occur! According to my twitter tweet, this was about 5am.

After 5-10 minutes, this was getting silly and I doubted I was going to go back to sleep so I left Stuart trying to get in a few more zeds, while I went down to bounce on my ball for a bit as I had started to get mild tightenings in my back. I’d bought my ipad down with me with Contract Master loaded ready to start recording. Eventually, I went to the loo again, and there was a trickle of waters tinged pink (this is normal).

Half hour later and contractions were definitely there but had jumped straight in at a regular 2-3 minutes and lasting 35-40 seconds. I had expected them to come in at 10 minutes apart and knew that when they reached about 5 minutes apart and were lasting for a minute then you were to go to the hospital. These contractions weren’t following that pattern! What should I do? They weren’t too strong yet and I could easily talk through them. The TV documentaries had taught me they wouldn’t let you in the maternity ward if you could still speak through your contractions so I guessed I should just hold on. I thought it was about time I got Stuart up and we should think about getting my parents to come over. If contractions were already this close if they got stronger, there wasn’t going to be much time to get to the hospital! By now it was 5.45am.

Stuart called my parents and downloaded the contraction master app to his iphone so he could help with the recording as I kept messing it up. I also called the hospital to warn them I’d be coming in at some point explaining waters had broken and contractions had started, were close together but not yet strong. They told me to call back when they ramped up a gear or got closer together (how close did they want them to be? I ignored this bit and would call when they intensified).

My parents arrived around 6.30am so I called the hospital about 6.45. Contractions were still 2 minutes apart and were getting stronger. I could still talk through them but decided to ‘play it up a bit’ otherwise they wouldn’t let me go in. I knew you should labour as long as possible at home and could understand how going to hospital could slow things down but we had a 25ish minute drive to the hospital and I didn’t want to risk not making it! I craftily added in a pant half way through a contraction while speaking to the MW on the other end of the phone. She noted it and said I could go in (yay). So off we went, around 7am, kissing my parents goodbye (while Callum still snoozed without a care in the world upstairs!). I checked Stuart now knew how to get to the hospital as we hadn’t managed to drive to Poole without getting lost yet! He assured me he did.

Every corner or jolt was quite painful when I got a contraction and the car journey did affect the timings. They weren’t so frequent now – often between 3 and 4 minutes, but were lasting longer – for about 1.5 minutes.

Sure enough, after a while, I noted the scenery outside he car and suspected we had gone past the hospital! Yep! We had got lost again and needed to back track somewhat! Doh!

We got to the hospital just before 7.30 (thankfully traffic was minimal due to time of day). I then had a little panic that I had somehow managed to misplace my phone – one minute it was in my hand, the next not – I had no memory of what I had actually done with it though – I had only walked from the car to the hospital doors! After a silly panic of trying to find it and Stuart going back & forth to the car to look, I found it – I had put it in my hospital bag. So, off we went to maternity ward.

We buzzed but no one came to the door until eventually a cleaner opened it and let us in!!!! Not really correct protocol! We headed to the reception desk and got a surprised look from the lady behind wondering how we had got in! We explained who we were and she showed us into our delivery suite (I love how they try to make it sound so much nicer by calling it a suite! – clinical delivery room doesn’t have the same appeal!). After what felt like quite a long while a Midwife came to see us and explained that they were just about to have a change of shift so she wouldn’t examine me but would start off procedures by asking me some questions while she made her notes. Sure enough, shortly after the first of my 2 actual midwives came in to take over – Louise. By now it must have been around 7.45am and I was panting through contractions for real by now.

Hold on to your seatbelts now and try not to blink for part two – To be continued.

Happy Due Date

So I have made it to my Due Date – something I’ve been curious about for the past 8.5 months and I must admit its a bit anti-climatic! Everything feels just the same!

I had another hospital appointment today (and one on Monday just gone) and as my BP is thankfully behaving itself, they are happy to leave it to my Community Midwife to do another sweep and book in my induction when I have my next appointment on Friday (17th August).

I was kind of hoping they’d book it in today as it would be nice to know it wasn’t too far away but I know, if baby isn’t ready, the whole induction experience is less likely to be effective anyway so best give baby a chance to come when she is ready.

I used my dowsing crystal the other day to try to predict when baby will arrive. It has predicted 18 August which would make a lot of sense if the MW does another sweep on the 17th and this one works. I’d be happy with that. For one, it is convenient as it is a weekend, he he, but also she would only be 3 days overdue so not too much waiting around (or too big ) and there are still a couple of weeks before Callum’s Birthday. That is my main concern about going too long after today is that baby will be born only a few days before Callum’s birthday. Its going to be hard not doing joint birthdays as it is but I imagine it will be inevitable if they are only a few days apart! Plus it would also be near the bank holiday – there would be both plus and minus points for a bank holiday birthday.

I’ve no more signs that baby’s arrival is imminent, just the usual regular braxton hicks, so for the time being it is just continue to wait and see.

I’m not fed up as such or taking any desperate steps to try to get baby out yet – just the odd bit of bouncing on the ball…and the fact that nearly every dinner is spicy is purely just coincidental (ahem) but I am starting to fantasise what it will be like to bend in the middle again!

Beep Beep and Sweep, 39 Weeks

Thought I’d just do a quick update following today’s hospital appointment further to my last blog post.

I was having more tightenings last night similar in strength to Friday but nothing more than that. Kept me awake some of the night though as every time baby moved it seemed to kick things off.

Todays appointment was booked for 2.30pm. I had Callum’s swimming lesson in the morning, then we went for lunch before heading for my appointment. After being so good on Monday, Callum was being a little monkey today and my patience was very thin. I was worried that that in itself was enough to raise the blood pressure.

Thankfully, we didn’t have to wait as long as last time despite the worrying signs of it taking me about 5-10 minutes of driving round the car park to get parked and then the antenatal waiting room being really busy.

The blood pressure checks were similar to Monday, the first one being done manually and recording as high and then the other two being done by the automatic machine and being under the highest acceptable level (140/90). She wouldn’t tell me what the first one was, she just said she didn’t want to record it as it was rather high.

I think the other two were 137/88 and 127/86.

After the BP checks, she went to have a word with the consultant about what the ‘plan of action’ was going to be. When she came back she said that they wanted to see if things kicked off on their own so she was going to give me a sweep* to see if that helped. They would also get me in for BP checks twice over the next week and then they’d make a decision whether to induce me on my due date based on how my BP was behaving. Of course, if nothing had kicked off on its own before then.

I wasn’t expecting the sweep and as I had a bad experience of internal examinations when being induced with Callum I was a little nervous about it but it was probably best I didn’t know about it in advanced as I would have just worried about it. It wasn’t the most pleasant thing and was quite uncomfortable/painful but no where near as bad as the internal I had in the delivery suite with Callum. Thankfully, I was curtained off for it too with another lady distracting Callum. Not something I really wanted him to be witness too.

Since then, nothing has really changed or kick started. No increase in tightenings, still just the odd one here and there. My right leg aches like hell and feels like its about to fall off but not really sure I can attribute that to the sweep or being a ‘sign’!

I’m not expecting much to happen. I have my next community MW appointment tomorrow at the doctors and imagine I’ll be having the same false starts over the weekend.

 

* What is a sweep? – A membrane sweep is where a Midwife ‘sweeps’ a finger around your cervix to hopefully separate the membranes around your baby from your cervix. This process releases a hormone which can help to kick-start labour within the following 48 hours.

Weird happenings: 38 weeks, 5 days

Ok, so seems baby may have read my last blog as the afternoon after I wrote it I started feeling weird. I couldn't quite work out why. I guess I was experiencing some tightenings or braxton hicks but it wasn't a strong enough feeling to put my finger on. I had a midwife appointment already booked in so thought I'd see what she said.

When I got to the appointment the mw, as is the norm, asked how I was feeling and I explained I felt weird. She took my blood pressure and said it was a bit high (156/97). It had been behaving so well and last reading was 126/72 so this was quite a jump. She asked if I had any headaches, which I had, but I had also had a head cold and had suspected the cold to be the cause. She listened to baby, checked my wee etc, all the usual things and all was well. She also took some blood then tested again. It was still high but had come down a bit (150/92). She decided to make an appointment for me at the hospital for Monday (today) for another BP/urine check and told me to take it easy & be 'vigilant' for other symptoms over the weekend.

The rest of that afternoon/evening I continued to feel weird & have the tightenings. When they got to a strength I felt I could time they were about 10-12 mins apart but still very mild. I tried to have an early night but it's hard to sleep when you are anticipating 'action'! The tightenings continued until about midnight but then must have eased off as I fell asleep and slept well for the rest of the night.

My parents were booked in to come over for the weekend anyway because my dad was doing some work in the nursery so they decided to stay over Saturday night just in case & brought clothes with them for the Monday too. This meant my mum took good care of me & Callum over the weekend and I spent most if it with my feet up and taking it easy. I felt a little weird but only had the odd tightening here and there.

As there were no affirmative signs of labour, and i was feeling more normal, they went home sunday night.

Today was my hospital appointment and as I thought I'd be in and out in no time at all, I took Callum with me. Unfortunately, there was an emergency that morning (I do hope all was ok), all the appointments had been pushed back so it was over an hour before I was seen. As the appointment was for 12noon, I had taken Callum some lunch with me (but just a pack of crisps for me) which helped pass some time plus I managed to distract him looking at maps and in the play area but, in truth, Callum was a absolute angel!

I was then in the room for a little over an hour going through all the various checks & being hooked up to the baby heart rate monitor and Callum was good again throughout showing a little concern for me worried when I had to lie down on the bed and have the monitor attached. The lady/doctor/midwife (whoever she was) was full of praise for him, I was so proud! The parking ticket said we were in for 2hrs 38 mins in total.

Anyway, BP was high when I first got there with the lower number still over 90 so she checked everything else & hooked me up to the monitor. All came back good. Again she asked about headaches and as the cold had now gone but i was still experiencing mild intermittent headaches, i did mention them to her. They are not enough to need a paracetemol but enough to make me think about it. Once on the monitor, we had to wait a while for baby to move as she was having a sleepy moment. After the cold water didn't work (me drinking it, nothing more bizarre!) I shuffled over to my side & she eventually started to wiggle.

More bloods were taken (I've since heard they were clear) and another appointment was booked in for wednesday. My subsequent BP checks showed an improvement and were good by the end. She was quite unsure what to do with me as I was neither perfectly ok or definitely something wrong, I was (in her words) whooly! So Wednesday's appointment was booked as a precaution and to see the consultant with the aim of preparing a plan of action as she didn't think they should let me go too far overdue!

I strongly believe that I won't develop pre-eclampsia (and she was inclined to agree) but that raised BP is just my bodies way of reacting to labour. As I've been typing I can again feel my BP is high (the weird feeling is back) and I've had a few more tightenings again but still nothing strong. I'm just extremely tired! I've had a few really good night's sleep now so not expecting to feel this tired!

I can see this weird feeling and tightenings coming and going quite regularly over the next few days or until it really does kick off.

I'm in two minds how I feel if they decide to induce me. Part of me will feel safe in that I can relate it to my last labour/birth, it's what I know so I'm happy with that. But also part of me is curious to experience what it is like to naturally go into labour while at home etc.

I guess only time will tell and, as always, what will be will be.

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Hospital bags

In case anyone finds it helpful, I thought I would post my hospital bag lists. What I found useful last time was to pack one bag for labour then a second bag for stay in hospital, which Stuart went and collected from the car (taking the other back) after baby was born. This was particularly helpful being as I stayed in hospital for a few nights after Callum was born. I guess it's less useful if you go home the same day as you go in but as it worked for me last time, I've done the same this time.

Others do a bag for mum & a bag for baby but that would mean keeping 2 bags handy. Still, keeping the balance between being prepared for everything & packing light is a challenge. I did have to sit on my hospital stay bag to zip it up and couldn't fit in my top n tail pots.

So here they are:

Labour:


(* items to keep for hospital stay if not used)

2 tankini tops (for pool)

2 black t-shirts

1 black pj bottoms

Baby's first outfit: vest, sleepsuit, nappy, mittens, hat, booties in plastic bag marked. One for tiny baby & one for newborn. (remove tiny baby if get to due date)

1 muslin*

1 small light blanket*

iPod & speakers

2 puzzle books & pens*

2 lucozade sports drinks (& 2 cans red bull for s)

Snacks: Jaffa cakes, crisps, cashews, haribo*

Camera*

Lip balm

Hair band & clips

Change for parking etc

Pack of tissues

Slippers*

Couple of maternity pads

Mini Shower gel

Hospital stay (me)

Trackie top

2 nursing tops

Comfy trousers

2 nursing bras

Thick/slipper socks

4-5 pairs of large, cheap black knickers

Dark, comfy pjs

Light material dressing gown

Dark towel

1-2 pack maternity pads

6 pairs of breast pads

Nipple shields

Toiletries: face wipes, mascara, eye-liner, moisturising cream/oil, lansinoh, mini deodorant, tissues, toothbrush, comb, mini toothpaste, mini face wash, mini showergel, mini shampoo, mini conditioner, mini bath soak, lip balm

iPad/iPod charger

Camera charger

Phone charger

Hospital stay (baby):

Going home outfit (bagged & labelled)

10 nappies

Nappy sacks

2 bibs

2 instant milk bottles

Blanket

1-2 muslins

2 vests

2 sleep suits

1 cardi

2 hats

3 scratch mits

2 pairs of booties

1 towel

Cotton wool

2 empty, washed muller corner pots, 1 labelled top and 1 labelled toe

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Floored! 37 weeks (full term)

Who the hell moved the floor so far away from my hands. I swear, either my legs have got longer or my arms have got shorter. And just to add insult to injury some cruel twisted unseen force is having a laugh at me making me drop everything. I just had to pick up about 20 pegs with my toes, and thank god my phone has a protective cover on it as it spends more time on the floor than in my hand! I'll pick one thing up that I just dropped and drop the other thing I was previously still holding!

Then of course there is Callum. As fast as I tidy or pick things up off the floor he is trailing behind me dropping stuff or unloading more toys! I can't keep up & its killing me & my bump attempting too. I give up! As I speak, I'm trying not to twitch looking at the lego car that used to be which is currently still residing on the floor, discarded this morning by the little man himself! I just know that at some point in the not too distant future I'm going to tread on the retched thing and curse that I didn't pick it up but my bump just can't face another squeeze!

In my next superhuman life I'll be sure to pick up the super power of telekenesis!

I could go on with my rant by telling you of the inconvenience of appliances being below waist height, such as the washing machine & dishwasher, but I remember doing that last pregnancy so I won't bore you with the repetition!

Anyway, in other news, I had my last scan today. All was well with the growth of the baby, blood pressure was fine and I've been discharged by the consultant to the care of the midwife. So being as today baby is full term at 37 weeks, I'm technically all set to go. Except my mind hasn't accepted that this baby has to come out yet and I feel like this pregnancy can just keep going...forever...maybe!

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All things Pregnancy, 23 Weeks, 5 Days

Just a general pregnancy update from me.

It took a while into the second trimester but I’ve been feeling really well and much more like the normal me recently. So much so that I often get a little shock when I catch a glance of myself in the mirror or lay down in bed at night to see a protruding bump!

Then someone asked me how I was feeling on Saturday morning so I said, truthfully, that I was feeling good and would be happy if I could stay feeling like this for the remainder of the pregnancy. Why did I say that? I clearly jinxed myself! By the end of the day I felt like I’d morphed into an old woman. It started lunchtime – I’d gone in my friend’s' car (we had our two friends and their children visiting for the night) to show her where the supermarket & pharmacy were. When we got back and I went to get out the car I got a shooting pain through my pelvis like I was all out of line. I couldn’t put any weight on my right leg without crying out in pain! I could hardly walk for a bit. Then every time I went to stand after sitting down for a while I could hardly stand straight and felt all stiff. By the end of the day I felt like I’d been doing a vigorous exercise class and it was the morning after!

I guess I need to take that as my warning to slow down! I’d spent 1.5 days spring cleaning that week and perhaps these aches and pains were a result of that!

I guess my pelvis is starting to move about now too – although I thought any significant moves would be later along in the pg in the third trimester! I guess not!

I have a few things on my mind at the moment relating to delivery. First one being the hospital we go to. I’m not feeling the confidence with Poole Hospital. If they’d allow tours or for me to see the labour ward, perhaps I’d feel a bit different but considering I wont ever even see the hospital until its time to give birth as my appointments are all held at Bournemouth Hospital (a lovely hospital but only a MW-led unit so no drugs!!! – of the type I’d be after anyway!), I’m really not liking what I’m hearing from other people about the place. I’ve heard it resembling a bunker on more than one occasion.

The other thing I’m not happy about in going there is that they don’t offer mobile epidurals. I really don’t want to be restricted to lying on my back for the duration of labour and have the joy of being fitted with a catheter which, from what I understand, means you are more likely to spend longer in hospital. I had a mobile epidural with Callum but, although I was pretty restricted to the bed because of being hooked up to bp monitors etc,, and although the top ups failed, I was able to wiggle around and go to the toilet if I wanted. I’d still rather have a mobile epidural where the top ups don’t work rather than a full on epidural that glues me to the bed unable to move.

Going by my last birth plan, I’m sure after saying all this, that will be exactly what happens despite my best intentions – I get glued to a bed on my back with a catheter – as labours and births are so unpredictable and so often does not go according to plan but the best I can do is make efforts in the right direction to getting the plan I want.

I did think that Poole or Bournemouth were my only options. However, I’ve since heard I could go to Salisbury!

So, I’m going to contact Salisbury hospital to discuss what options there are and, if they offer a tour, I’m going to take a look.

Salisbury is further away to travel than Poole – 30 mins opposed to 15-20 but its worth looking into!

I guess another thing that must be on my mind according to my dream last night is breastfeeding and getting baby to latch on…to both breasts!

Last time, Callum and I took until the last night/day in hospital (C was born on Tuesday & we left on Friday) until we both finally got it and we never really got the hang of my right boob as I have a slightly inverted/flat nipple! But I must remember i) it was my first time breastfeeding a baby; ii) Callum was early and it is common for early babies to struggle with latching on at first; and iii) I was too self-conscious to ask for help,. This time I’ll have the advantage of having done it before, I’m more determined to ask for help if I need it and go to support groups and, all things being well, this one might have a better chance of getting it from the off…! We wont know until we get there.

But there have been things I’ve learnt, from my own experience and that of others which I’m going to try. The support groups being one of them but also, to start using Linsinoh right from the start (it was my saviour last time when I discovered it and, a little secret for those that don’t know, its fantastic at protecting sore little bums at night with bad nappy rash!!!) and I will try Medela nipple shields on recommendation from a friend who also didn’t take to breastfeeding immediately and tried several brands.

Whoever said breastfeeding is natural is lying! I hate that saying as it makes you think that its easy and both your baby and your body will know instantly what to do without any assistance – often it is not that easy and requires patience, persistence and a high pain threshold to cope with the needle sharp pains in your nipples!!!

Which might make you wonder why I am bothering to try again – I know, it surprised me but I do think I stopped last time just as I was getting into the flow of it (pardon the pun) and, if I do manage to get this baby feeding off both boobs then I think it will be worth the effort and initial pain (that does get better) in the beginning!

Positives I did learn from last time were that I’m not going to wait for 6 weeks until my flow is established before expressing and bottle feeding – I do believe Callum never had a problem switching to bottle because he had both breast & bottle from the start. This is also what I understand from other people’s experiences too and those that solely breastfed (from breast) and didn’t use a bottle at all until much later often had a much more difficult transition period – some babies never mastering a bottle! I want Stuart to share in the feeding so I can have a break from time to time!

Finally, to end on a high, Stuart finally felt the baby move last night – woohooooooo! Kicks and wiggles are in full swing as I am typing now! I think I am calling her Wiggles or Wiggly while she is in the womb as that seems to be what comes to mind when I talk about her.