5 months, 3 weeks, 1 day old

Well, Callum still has his nasty nappy rash and runny poo! It did seem to get better over the weekend but it took a turn for the worse again on Monday. So I took him to the doctors yesterday. She said it could be viral or could be teething, it was difficult to say. Not a lot you can do. The nappy rash will clear up when the diarrhoea goes away. In the meantime, all I can do is to keep trying different creams until I find one that seems to work (as well as the other stuff I'm already doing - cotton wool and water instead of wipes, nappy off time etc). She prescribed him one called Diapolene. 

The rash does seem to be getting better again, so hopefully it is working. He still has diarrhoea though so I don't know if it will just come back again.

Callum is loving his Jumperoo still. He was bouncing and laughing in it for ages today. So cute!

He has started doing a weird thing with his left leg. He keeps kind of kicking it back and forth to hit his heal against whatever he is sitting on. It looked a bit like he was doing the Riverdance in the bath. I took a video of it but it isn't decent enough for here - don't want to be showing his rudey bits to the world! It is strange that it is just his left leg, he keeps his other leg pretty much still. He does it in his bouncy chair and car seat too. Very odd!

Development wise, he isn't noticeably doing a lot but he does seem to be concentrating more on controlling his hands to grab and pick up things. He loves to stroke and hold my hair. He does it so carefully and doesn't often pull it. He likes to eat it too. Is it wrong to get him a fake hair piece just to play with? He might get hairballs!!!

We have decided on a date when we are going to start weaning. It will be nice of both Stuart and I can be there when we start. The weekend 2 weeks after his 6 month Birthday (as advised by the HV) is 14 & 15 March but we are away and think it is best to be at home, so, 21 & 22 it is. Now we need to get a high chair (though not compulsory at this stage), bowls, messy mats, beaker cups (Mum has bought him one but we probably need more than one and we wont be able to pick up the one they have until the following week). Best get on with finishing my BLW book too.

Can't believe it is Callum's 6 month Birthday next week. 6 months always seemed like this milestone that was miles away and it is strange to think that it is nearly here. 

Best not to mention sleep at the moment!

5 Months, 2 weeks, 1 day

Weight - 8.5lb to go :o)

My poor little sausage! He has such a sore bum! For the last 5ish days he has had snotty nappies and really bad nappy rash. I know these are all signs of teething but he seems very happy in himself apart from when I change his nappy or when he poos in the middle of the night. 

I'm plastering on the Sudocrem. After my sister's advice, I've gone back to cotton wool and water to clean his bottom. I'm giving him about an hour's nappy off time in the evening. I actually called the Health Visitor (HV) today as it looks red raw and I feel like I'm abusing him every time I change his nappy as he cries so much and looks at me as if to say "Why are you hurting me like this mummy?". Heartbreaking! Anyway, HV wasn't about so the Nursery Nurse (Lexi) got back to me. 

N.B. Really don't get what the Nursery Nurse is meant to do/know. I don't really know what she is qualified for etc. I thought Nursery Nurses just looked after kiddies at nurseries.

I told her everything I was doing and did mention that I'd bought some Metanium but, after two uses, was worried that it was making his bottom worse. She was saying I was doing all the right things but was surprised about the Metanium as it usually clears up nappy rash in 24 hours. She recommended that I give it another try and, if it still doesn't clear up after a few days, go to the doctor. Will have to see how we go. Will keep you updated! I know you love to hear details about Callum's bottom and nappies...!!!

My mental shake has helped as I'm feeling a lot more relaxed about the sleep issues. We have good days and bad days but even on the bad days I just seem to accept it. I guess this will change and I'll get frustrated with it again - probably around PMT time!!! Seems to be the common trend! The only reason why I miss being pregnant! But for the moment, I'm just taking each day as it comes and dealing with it.

I guess, what also helps, is that it sounds like all the other girls on my NCT group are now going through what I went through. Shame it hasn't all necessarily happened at the same time.

Finally, I've just heard a friend is pregnant (Yay!). Stuart (and then I) suspected it but didn't know for sure. I met with her for lunch with another friend and wasn't particular holding back on the real life of being a parent to a new baby (though I guess he isn't new anymore). My friend made a comment about scaring off my other friend (who we now know was pregnant at the time) and that she probably wasn't going to be in any hurry to have any kids. I did apologise but I don't feel too bad as I really think you should tell it how it is then it isn't a shock when it happens to them. No one tells you or really makes you understand just how tough it can be sometimes. I think it is important to know what you are getting into!!!!

5 months, 1 week

I feel like I'm on a constant emotional roller-coaster.

Still having sleeping issues. Was in tears again today as it took me 35 minutes to get Callum to go to sleep, only for him to sleep for just 30 minutes. He had been doing longer sleeps over the weekend (although still taking a while to get to sleep), usually an hour but he didn't have longer than 30 minutes today. 

It hasn't helped that I am really tired. For the last few nights, Callum has gone back to waking twice in the night too. Just when we thought the nights were improving! As I've said before, 1 step forward, 2 steps back!

I have gone right back to the beginning again (again!!!) with the getting him to sleep. I'm trying to keep the routine as similar as possible whether it is day or night. The only things I do differently at night is bath, massage and bottle. He isn't fed to sleep so the bottle doesn't really make a difference and it isn't practical to do the bath and massage for every sleep. Callum has stopped going down easily both during the day and at night now. I did think that I had tried 'going back to the beginning' before and it didn't work but I don't think I have done it properly. Before Christmas, when I got Callum to go to sleep in his cot, I got right down next to his cheek and shushed him. I had been shushing him but I hadn't got right down cheek to cheek - I didn't want my hair to be pulled. Today, I tried this twice and, both times, he went to sleep much quicker - 5-10 minutes, and I didn't get pulled hair either! Just a scratched face :o(. Anyway, I'm going to try this a few times and then phase it out again. I can but try. 

I've also given myself a mental shake as I know we are doing better than some people. Callum isn't rocked to sleep (though it was heading back that way) anymore, he sleeps in his cot (even if only for 30 minutes), he no longer has a dummy, he isn't fed to sleep (i.e., he doesn't go to sleep on the bottle), he does usually sleep from 7 'til 7 even if he does wake up - also, he goes straight back to sleep after feeding during the night. I have to remember these positive things instead of dwelling on the negatives but it is hard. 

I had a little break from Callum on Saturday when Stuart looked after him while I went shopping for a few hours but it has been hard these last few weeks, not having much of a break from him. Actually, we did go out on Friday night too. A friend babysat while we went for dinner. Still, I still feel very exhausted from it all. 

5 months, 1 day

Weight: 10lb to go :o)

Well, we had lots of snow Sunday night/Monday morning. Callum isn't in the slightest bit interested. No fun! I bet we wont have snow like this for years now. Typical when he is too young to enjoy it. Stuart has been working from home but its not an excuse not to get into work, he is actually working very hard at home so no fun playing in the snow with him either! Also means we have been pretty much housebound. It hasn't been safe to drive (downside to living at the top of the hill - at least its good in the rain), especially with Callum in the car - even without. Had a worry as my online shopping got cancelled (twice) and we were running out of formula but our neighbours saved the day as they risked a trip to the supermarket and just about survived (the did say it was scary and many cars had been abandoned on the hill as they failed to drive up it). I was intrigued to see if Callum thought more of it if I actually to

ok him out in it. Especially as I had seen a photo of a baby a couple of months older looking like he was enjoying himself. Unfortunately, I have no idea what Callum actually thought when I ventured out for a walk with him as he was facing away from me in the harness. I didn't here any giggles or coos so guess he was still unimpressed! Here is my attempt at a photo to see if he was enjoying it -as you can see, nonplussed! 

Well, we haven't had another complete sleep through the night. After the first night, he went back to waking between 2.30am and 3am, but that was it after his bedtime so I didn't mind that. However, last night he woke up at 4.50am so, I feel like that he is improving all the time and that another complete night is not far away. 

Daytime naps have gone back to what they were before last week's blip, with regards to length. Well, they are better anyway, if not perfect. He normally does 45mins to 1 hour now. Not 1.5-2 hours but it is better than 30 minutes. He can still take a bit of time to go down but you can't have everything can you? Was meant to go to Woking yesterday to get a blackout blind from John Lewis but couldn't go because of the snow! I think a blackout blind will help.

I'm taking Callum to London tomorrow (weather permitting) to introduce him to my old work colleagues (sorry I should say ex-colleagues not old colleagues ;o)). 

Now, I'm certainly not thinking of no. 2 yet, certainly not for another 3.5 years (I'm still keen on not having more until Callum is 4) but I am surprised at how my attitude to breastfeeding has changed. I really, really hate my boobs now - if you can call the saggy bags that are left boobs! But, despite that, when/if we have no.2, I would be keen to try to breastfeed for longer. This depends on whether I got no.2 to latch on properly to both breasts. There is no way I would want to do the expressing I did this time. So, assuming all went well and knowing what I now know, I would try to breastfeed for longer. This attitude change, really surprises me. I think it is the convenience thing. It wasn't a big deal when I was expressing to go completely to bottle as I was having to do the whole sterilising and making up bottles anyway, but if I didn't have to do this, I can completely see how beneficial it could be to keep up the breastfeeding. On the other side of the coin though, I think Callum adapted well to feeding from both the nipple and bottle because we introduced both early on. I know this is against recommendations but I think people have found it more difficult if they have introduced a bottle later on. With this in mind, I think I would still either express for the last feed of the day (also to give Stuart a chance of feeding Callum) or would give formula for just this feed. Especially as this is when breast milk tends to be in short supply - at the end of the day.

These are just thoughts though and we are a long way off no. 2 - so no getting any ideas (you know who you are....Mother-in-Law ;o) )